do u like my mutant. i made him up

Originally posted by Xirius
Ok, cool, I look forward to the story.

If you ever want more advice or an opinion on an idea, feel free to pm me if you want.
Sometimes a second perspective helps.

please read whole thing

Real Name: Juvon Augustus Lewis
Alias:Livewire
Occupation: student at xavier school for gifted/help desk support tech.
Identity: known
Legal Status: citizen of united states/high priority surveliance watch
Place of Birth: montgomery, alabama
Marital Status: single
Known Relatives: mother-nora lewis, grandmother-Jean Griffin grandfather-Joe Griffin, brothers-stewart lewis alex lewis, felix lewis
Group Affiliation:current x-men, former brotherhood of evil mutants,
Base Of Operations: xavier school
First Appearance😘-men: The Birth of the Meag Mutant#1

History: Livewire has since been recently given a job as a help desk support tech at emma frost's company because if his knowledge with computers. Liverwire's powers manifested at an early age when he plug in a light and made it come on without turning the switch. He then realized he could control electricity just by thinking about it. When he turned sixteen he went on a field trip with his science class to a powerplant. He and his friends wondered off, into a room with the main generator, livewire started getting a headache from all the power in the generator. livewire and his friends left and rejoined the class after being disciplined by there instructor, however his headaches continued and he passed out. When he collapsed his body turned into pure energy release and uncontrolled pattern of energy throughout the whole plant causing the plant to explode. When the police came and found out what happened Livewire was threatned with being taking in by extreme force. Scared of everything that has happened he ran off with police chasing him and shooting at him. When cornered by the police finally he through his hands up not realizing the electricty from his body was causing him to generate magnetism from his and the police guns flew into the air. Afterwards electricial energy burst from his body causing massive power outages, powerlines exploding, magnetic fields wiping out nearby computers, glasses were shattering all over the area, cars, houses, apartments catching fire, cars being turned over, lighting striking from the air destroying everyting. After his powers calmed down he ran into a dark ally and covered up in a corner and burst into tears after all the chaos he caused. He felt a tap on his shoulders and he looked up to see a somewhat sympathic magneto telling him that everything is ok and that he would help him control and use his powers. For about a year magneto trained him with the brotherhood. After a short time with magneto livewire trusted him and looked up to him like a father. After a battle with apocalypse he took over livewire's mind and made him the new death after he realized livewires full potenial and seeing that his mind was vulnerable after his tramatic experiences. When apocalypse sent him to destroy new york city he came into contact with magneto and nearly killed him until his mother nora lewis who was among the crowd pleaded with him to stop and she revealed that magneto was his actual father. He then turned on apocalypse and with the help of magento and the x-men who had just arrived livewire defeated apocalypse. Livewire and Mageneto make up and professor x takes livewire under his care and pleaded with the government to let livewire live. The US. government agrees but only under professor xavier's care and under extreme surveliance by the military. Professor x realized livewire had telepathic powers and telekinesis due to his ability to since electric magnetic waves. The professor placed a mental block on the majority except his control over electricity and his abilitiy to heal himself by turning into electrical energy when wounded. He know is part of the x-men

Height: 5 ft. 11 in.
Weight: 240 lbs.
Eyes: Brown. turns white when uses power
Hair: black (dyed)

Strength level: Livewire possesses normal stregth of a man his age

Known superhuman powers: able to generate and control any form of electricity. can transform into lighting, and move through wires like electricity. also able to generate magnetic fields
when wounded his body turns into pure energy and heals itself

Weapons: none

NOTES:The professor placed varies mental blocks on majority of his powers diabling his powers from raging out of control and disabling him from using all of his destructive powers. Livewire is of mixed race. black/white

well any opinions

It's good to see, that you managed to work on this character according to Xirius's advise. He now seems more a person than just a power husk. Not too bad!

BUT...

Livewire is still waaay too powerful and multitalented without any compelling weaknesses to be a cool mutant...imo.
And his background story strongly reminds me of Scarlet Witch or Polaris. I mean, Magneto taking on a powerful young mutant without sufficient experience with his/her powers, making him/her a member of the brotherhood, just to loose him/her to the good guys right after taking notice of his fatherhood...AGAIN???!!!

My advice:
-You should definitely loose the telepathy and telekinesis ability completely instead of just temporally blocking them.
-Dump the deus-ex-machina-i-cant-be-killed-energy-form-healing-ability!!! (why did you give it to a character with such basic powerset anyway?)
-PLEASE loose the Magneto connection, it's really too lame.

Originally posted by rox
please read whole thing

Real Name: Juvon Augustus Lewis
Alias:Livewire
Occupation: student at xavier school for gifted/help desk support tech.
Identity: known
Legal Status: citizen of united states/high priority surveliance watch
Place of Birth: montgomery, alabama
Marital Status: single
Known Relatives: mother-nora lewis, grandmother-Jean Griffin grandfather-Joe Griffin, brothers-stewart lewis alex lewis, felix lewis
Group Affiliation:current x-men, former brotherhood of evil mutants,
Base Of Operations: xavier school
First Appearance😘-men: The Birth of the Meag Mutant#1

History: Livewire has since been recently given a job as a help desk support tech at emma frost's company because if his knowledge with computers. Liverwire's powers manifested at an early age when he plug in a light and made it come on without turning the switch. He then realized he could control electricity just by thinking about it. When he turned sixteen he went on a field trip with his science class to a powerplant. He and his friends wondered off, into a room with the main generator, livewire started getting a headache from all the power in the generator. livewire and his friends left and rejoined the class after being disciplined by there instructor, however his headaches continued and he passed out. When he collapsed his body turned into pure energy release and uncontrolled pattern of energy throughout the whole plant causing the plant to explode. When the police came and found out what happened Livewire was threatned with being taking in by extreme force. Scared of everything that has happened he ran off with police chasing him and shooting at him. When cornered by the police finally he through his hands up not realizing the electricty from his body was causing him to generate magnetism from his and the police guns flew into the air. Afterwards electricial energy burst from his body causing massive power outages, powerlines exploding, magnetic fields wiping out nearby computers, glasses were shattering all over the area, cars, houses, apartments catching fire, cars being turned over, lighting striking from the air destroying everyting. After his powers calmed down he ran into a dark ally and covered up in a corner and burst into tears after all the chaos he caused. He felt a tap on his shoulders and he looked up to see a somewhat sympathic magneto telling him that everything is ok and that he would help him control and use his powers. For about a year magneto trained him with the brotherhood. After a short time with magneto livewire trusted him and looked up to him like a father. After a battle with apocalypse he took over livewire's mind and made him the new death after he realized livewires full potenial and seeing that his mind was vulnerable after his tramatic experiences. When apocalypse sent him to destroy new york city he came into contact with magneto and nearly killed him until his mother nora lewis who was among the crowd pleaded with him to stop and she revealed that magneto was his actual father. He then turned on apocalypse and with the help of magento and the x-men who had just arrived livewire defeated apocalypse. Livewire and Mageneto make up and professor x takes livewire under his care and pleaded with the government to let livewire live. The US. government agrees but only under professor xavier's care and under extreme surveliance by the military. Professor x realized livewire had telepathic powers and telekinesis due to his ability to since electric magnetic waves. The professor placed a mental block on the majority except his control over electricity and his abilitiy to heal himself by turning into electrical energy when wounded. He know is part of the x-men

Height: 5 ft. 11 in.
Weight: 240 lbs.
Eyes: Brown. turns white when uses power
Hair: black (dyed)

Strength level: Livewire possesses normal stregth of a man his age

Known superhuman powers: able to generate and control any form of electricity. can transform into lighting, and move through wires like electricity. also able to generate magnetic fields
when wounded his body turns into pure energy and heals itself

Weapons: none

NOTES:The professor placed varies mental blocks on majority of his powers diabling his powers from raging out of control and disabling him from using all of his destructive powers. Livewire is of mixed race. black/white

Hey, I got your pm.
In my opinion, you still need to lose the telepathy at the very least, and if you must keep telekinesis, Id give it an extremely weak power level.
I still dont like the healing part of his energy form. It allows him to come back from basically anything.
Add in some real, solid weaknesses, and give some information about his approximate age and personality.

But, I like the back story. Id lose the Apocalypse upgrading him part, but keep the nuclear accident, magneto part.
Since Livewire had just caused a nuclear explosion, I think it makes sense for Magneto to want to recruit such a useful mutant, but Id lose the Magneto being his father part and the Xavier-mind blocks.
Just give Livewire some good, but not all powerful abilities, and leave it at that, I wouldnt use the mind blocks.
Id also use another reason for him joining the Xmen, besides his mom made him repent, and after being identified as Magnetos son, the government just lets him go. That part of the story is too vague, and I couldnt really see it happening.

In my opinion, this is a huge improvemant on Livewire, and he's becoming a more solid character.
Just the few little details mentioned above, and maybe fill in a few more details to fill out the character, are all that I can really say.

Good job! 🙂

thanks

He is extremely powerfull but he could be beatenif mabye juganought charged him or some thing

Saber
Real Name: Ken Landi
Age: 21
Occupation: Soldier of Fortune, adveturer.
Place of Birth: Rome, Italy.
Marital Status: Single.
Legal Status: Italian cityzen with criminal records.
Known Relatives: David(brother), Claudette(sister)
Affiliations: Founding and former member of the Centurions, former member of the Mutant Rulers.
Currents Whereabout: He was saw in the huge battle in the Mutant Rulers flying fortress, which exploded thank to the self destruction devce.It's unknown if he survived the explosion.
Powers:
Saber possess superhuman strength Class 15, it means he can lift 15 tons of weight at max.His body also possess superhuman durability sufficient to physical and energy attacks of a certain magnitude.As a backup for his lack of durability his body developed a healing factor that grant him to heal back from injuries in a short/medium amount of time, depends on the level of the injuries.The heal factor also make him immune from toxins, disease, aging.Saber also possess 3 retractable claws for each hand, which can cut even through steel thank to his denser physical structure.His speed is also superhuman(he can run at 200 mph)same for his reaction times and agility.His senses were also developed from the cosmic rain making him a great hunter and tracker.
History:
Saber's mutant abilites were unlocked after the event all the Earth inhabitants call the "Cosmic Rain".
Meteors and Cosmic Rays hitted the planet, granting superpowers to many people.Saber originally decided to act as a hero, creating a supergroup with some of his friends, classmates and his brother.
After defeating the villain called Tremor, which possessed an incredible level of telekinesis, Saber fought against his teammates cause he killed Tremor.This leaded to a brutal fight, after which he left the group, and decided to became a mercenary, fighting for his own purposes.

So basically, he's like Wolverine, except way faster and stronger?

That seriously lacks imagination................

Try something more original maybe?

Originally posted by K3VIL
Saber
Real Name: Ken Landi
Age: 21
Occupation: Soldier of Fortune, adveturer.
Place of Birth: Rome, Italy.
Marital Status: Single.
Legal Status: Italian cityzen with criminal records.
Known Relatives: David(brother), Claudette(sister)
Affiliations: Founding and former member of the Centurions, former member of the Mutant Rulers.
Currents Whereabout: He was saw in the huge battle in the Mutant Rulers flying fortress, which exploded thank to the self destruction devce.It's unknown if he survived the explosion.
Powers:
Saber possess superhuman strength Class 15, it means he can lift 15 tons of weight at max.His body also possess superhuman durability sufficient to physical and energy attacks of a certain magnitude.As a backup for his lack of durability his body developed a healing factor that grant him to heal back from injuries in a short/medium amount of time, depends on the level of the injuries.The heal factor also make him immune from toxins, disease, aging.Saber also possess 3 retractable claws for each hand, which can cut even through steel thank to his denser physical structure.His speed is also superhuman(he can run at 200 mph)same for his reaction times and agility.His senses were also developed from the cosmic rain making him a great hunter and tracker.
History:
Saber's mutant abilites were unlocked after the event all the Earth inhabitants call the "Cosmic Rain".
Meteors and Cosmic Rays hitted the planet, granting superpowers to many people.Saber originally decided to act as a hero, creating a supergroup with some of his friends, classmates and his brother.
After defeating the villain called Tremor, which possessed an incredible level of telekinesis, Saber fought against his teammates cause he killed Tremor.This leaded to a brutal fight, after which he left the group, and decided to became a mercenary, fighting for his own purposes.

I'm sure you can do better than that! ✅

I criticised a lot around here. Time to show that i can take as well!

My mutant

Real Name: Sebastian Kruger
Alias: Bliss
Occupation: playboy, adventurer
Identity: unknown
Legal Status: citizen of Germany
Place of Birth: Hamburg
Marital Status: single
Known Relatives: Mystique (father!), Susanne Kruger (mother), Nightcrawler (halfbrother), Nocturne (alternate reality niece), Rogue (adoptive sister)
Group Affiliation: none
Base Of Operations: wherever money can be made and living means joy
Height: 1.90m
Weight: 85 kg
Eyes: yellow
Hair: black
Skin: dark blue
Powers: advanced empathy (emotion reading, emotion sending, emotion control, mental shielding, mental attacks, astral projection, empathic healing), rapid healing
Personality: openly - pragmatic and self controlled, yet optimistic, reliable
hidden - compassionate and caring (after all he IS an Empath), disillusioned about the nature of mankind (after all he IS an Empath)

History:

Bliss was born back in 1930 as the son of Susanne Kruger, the daughter of a very rich german trader, who fell in love for the handsome young business man Rudi van Dampen (Mystique). Unfortunately for Susanne, Mystique was (surprise, surprise) only using her to establish trading relations with her father. When she got what she wanted, Mystique revealed herself to Susanne and left for Amerika, unknowing, that the gal was pregnant. Since her father was a very conservative man, Susanne was forced to leave her home and make herself a life as a maid for a rich and nice jewish family.
When Sebastian was finally born, he somehow subconsciously used his empathic powers to make everyone around him love him and feel, that his rather unusual appearance was perfectly normal. The only person who was immune against this effect was his mother. She made sure that noone ever shot a photo of Sebastian, so noone could ever think about his looks free of the empathic influence.
During WWII Susanne died during the bombardment of Hamburg, leaving young Sebastian alone among several injured people. That was the moment the full amount of his empathic powers kicked in and the kid became nearly overwhelmed by all the suffering around him. It started to drive him made and he grabbed an injured woman, screaming at her to make the suffering stop. In doing so, he instinctively transfered the woman's injuries to himself, effectively healing her. Strange enough his newly gained injuries started healing almost immediately. In shock about his mother's death and these new found abilities, Sebastian flew into the night.
The following years he spend using his empathy to charm and manipulate people, who seemed useful to him and traveled the world, though he never started trying to get rich. His voyages also brought him back to Germany every now and then, so it happened that he visited a circus while he was in Bavaria. Star of this particular circus was an amazingly skilled blue skinned, yellow eyed male acrobat - Nightcrawler. Understandably Sebastian became instantly interested in this man, who looked so much like him. When the other day he tried to contact Kurt, he had to experience something terrible: The people of the local village freaked out and started to hunt down the Nightcrawler. Sebastian tried to stop them, but by the time he effectively calmed down the masses - Kurt was gone. Through the media he learned, that Kurt was now a member of a group called "The X-Men". Since he was not interested in giving up his illustrious lifestyle or in becoming a so called super hero, he never again tried to contact Kurt, but attentively followed his career.
Now, after "HoM Decimation", as one of the 198 Bliss decided to reveal himself to what's left of the mutant community and the man who resembles him so much...

I like it, but some of the details are slightly inconsistent.
For instance, his base of operations is "wherever money can be made and living means joy", but you say he never tried to get rich.
And I dont think many playboys can be regarded as self controlled or reliable.

The thing of Mystique being his father is a little weird, but overall, I like this character. The defensive rather than destructive powers are a nice, all-to often unseen touch.
Nice job.

back to my character. LOL

Reminds me of DC. As much as I like superman, I think he is a little too powerful... but don't get me started on that. You know what would be a good super hero? a dude that could produce an infinate amount of money (real money so it can't be traced or detected). with all the money he could pay all other superdudes to forget there morals and rule all. Tons more money than iron man or batman. He could team up with poor peter parker cause he needs a little money. Just my 3 cents.

Originally posted by Xirius
I like it, but some of the details are slightly inconsistent.
For instance, his base of operations is "wherever money can be made and living means joy", but you say he never tried to get rich.

Originally posted by Xirius
And I dont think many playboys can be regarded as self controlled or reliable.

Originally posted by Xirius
The thing of Mystique being his father is a little weird...

Originally posted by Xirius
...but overall, I like this character. The defensive rather than destructive powers are a nice, all-to often unseen touch.

Nice job.

out of the three mutants who would win

Originally posted by rox
out of the three mutants who would win

Manipulate Electromagnetic energy? Why is it that Berzerker is the first mutant that comes to mind when I think of this power.

http://www.marvel.com/universe/Berzerker

i don't know but his powers r different from livewires

Real Name: Xazios Cader Colossaz (Planet Nerot); Joshua Livingston (Planet Earth)
Alias: Matrix
Identity: Secret
Occupation: CEO of WarTech, Inc.
Citizenship: United States of America, State of Texas
Place of Birth: Planet Nerot
Known Relatives: Kenior Colossaz (Father); Karnier Colossaz (Mother, deceased); Geaia Colossaz (Sister, deceased); Dragor Colossaz (Brother "Blaze"😉
Group Affiliation: Brothers of Sovereignty
Education: Taught to manifest and control abilities by Kenior Colossaz.

Height: 6'5"
Weight: 200 lbs.
Eyes: Green
Hair: Black (mo-hawk)

Powers/Abilties:

Incalculable strength due to tactile telekinesis. Enhanced flying abilities. The more he focuses, the stronger he becomes, due to his strength coming from a direct connection to his mind. Telekinesis base Class 60 strength, but can increase when focused. He can also manipulate psychic energy into bolts of energy augmented from his eyes and/or hands. He can also generate a forcefield of psychic energy the shapes to his particular body form.

Weakness:
His main weakness is to that of radioactivity, as it disrupts the way his body is structured from his home planet. He also has shown weaknesses to severely loud noises, and other things that may cause headaches.

Biography:

Xazios was born on the planet of Nerot. His abilities began to grow right at birth. He was an exceptional young man, showing enhanced strength and psychic ability than the rest of the planet (Nerot's inhabitants are "superhuman" to the extreme in the eyes of Earth's inhabitants). His first showing of his abilities was whenever he was playing outside at the age of 12 with his friends. A futuristic van came barreling down the street and directly hit Xazios. To his friends' surprise, he was unharmed, and immediately pushed the van back 30 feet. After this incident, his father began to teach him how to use his superior abilities. At the age of 16, he began to notice that his powers were growing rapidly, and his psychic abilities were growing, whenever he lept into the air a great distance, and focusing, never came down. When he became 17 his father found out news of the planet Earth in another Universe was under the distress of villainry in it's primest form, and decided to send his two sons to protect the planet when needed. Xazios then took hold of his brother and flew to the Planet Earth. When arriving, he took on the public alias of Joshua Livingston and the hero alias of Matrix (meaning "source"😉, with the mindset of being the source of heroism the Earth would need. Not to mention, his powers came from the ultimate source, his mind. Using his vast knowledge gained on Nerot, he decided to begin a business. The business took off like a rocket, selling the government advanced weaponry. Later, he gave the business the name WarTech, Incorporated, with the same intent from the beginning, selling advanced weaponry to the government. His base of operations is in Dallas, Texas.