Also:
http://i208.photobucket.com/albums/bb190/Vengynce/babykrogan.jpg
Shep & Wrex for life!
THERE IS NO WAY THIS COULD BE CREEPY AT ALL!
Edit: EDITED FOR FVCKING PUSSIES.
"Can I interrupt for a moment?" Shepard asked the Council.
"Certainly, Commander," they replied almost as one.
"My crew and I have worked out this routine we'd like to show you."
"By all means," the Turian tittered.
The act began strangely enough with only Wrex on the council chamber floor. As slow, low-toned music rose, the lights dimmed leaving circular spotlights illuminating the very sight causing the Salarian council member to drool uncontrollably.
Without dramatic pause or any pretense of modesty, the krogan had removed his Mercenary armor revealing four of the not surprisingly largest, but unexpectedly shiniest testicles ever witnessed in this or any other council chamber. The scrotum, if you could call the angry, porcupine-like bag a scrotum, pulsed violently as the krogan slathered spittle on his assault rifle-like appendage.
Simultaneously removing their armor and flanking the undulating krogan, Tali and Garrus powered up their Salarian-designed, Asari-improved pleasure enhancers (the ones with the triple rotating heads) and tore into each other’s nether regions like a thresher maw into a Mako.
Directly in front of the spastic krogan and the vibrating techies, Ashley, nude and oiled liberally, playfully juggled high explosive grenades in one hand while twirling her embarrassingly masculine genitalia to the rhythm of the rising bass line. As Wrex counted down from three, the slippery soldier pirouetted vertically off of the railing, caught all three grenades in her outstretched vulva, and landed flush on the krogan’s pride just as the explosion cleared room for Wrex’ knot.
On cue and completely naked, Liara and Kaiden leaped at each other and spammed singularity to form an intertwined blue and tan sexual tornado just above the copulating combatants and the gyrating geeks.
As the smoke from Ashley and Wrex’ shock and awe cleared, Shepard, relieved to finally be free of that damn armor, forcibly ripped Tali’s environmental suit open and slammed into the quarian’s convulsing corpse.
And just as they had rehearsed numerous times on the stage after hours at Chora’s Den, the entire team reached their climactic endings in unison right at the final cymbal crash of Jack Wall’s epic 70’s-style score.
“Wh-what do you call your act,” stammered the obviously flustered Asari.
“The Council Members!”
'Everybody wants to be a cat,
because a cat's the only cat
who knows where it's at.
Everybody's pickin' up on that feline beat,
'cause everything else is obsolete.
Now a square with a horn,
can make you wish you weren't born,
ever'time he plays;
and with a square in the act,
he can set music back
to the caveman days.
I've heard some corny birds who tried to sing,
but a cat's the only cat
who knows how to swing.
Who wants to dig
a long-haired gig
or stuff like that?
When everybody wants to be a cat.
A square with that horn,
makes you wish you weren't born,
ever'time he plays;
and with a square in the act,
he's gonna set this music back
to the Stone Age days.
Everybody wants to be a cat,
because a cat's the only cat
who knows where it's at;
while playin' jazz you always has a Welcome mat,
'cause everybody digs a swingin' cat.
Everybody digs a swingin' cat."
Oh a rinky dinky dinky!
