The Battle Bar, Our Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy

Started by Lord Lucien3,287 pages

Originally posted by ~:Mr.Anderson:~
not a chance don't jizz yourself!

*sings* we didn't start the flame war! peeps were hatin on it 'for i left my topic."

YouTube video

Collegehumor ftw.

You clearly have giant nostrils.

CLEARLY

Originally posted by Eminence
You clearly have giant nostrils.

Watch Chappelle's Show much?

"You wide nose havin muthaf/uckas!! What am I gonna do about my legs man??!!"

yay!! hewhoknowsall free for a while 🙂

Thought you guys might enjoy this. will not post too much at once as its pretty long list.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

Hey great, Obama's health care plan is going to be passed, how about that? Looks like he just sped up the imminent collapse.

damn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kMg0DqtvHQ&feature=PlayList&p=E83878BA020CAE3B&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=17

Originally posted by ~:Mr.Anderson:~
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
Best of the lot. And the lot are all good.

Not as good as...

YouTube video

Skip to 3:52.

Originally posted by Eminence
Not as good as...

YouTube video

Skip to 3:52.

boring, stupid, pointlessly insulting, and political. not anywhere near as funny.

Originally posted by ~:Mr.Anderson:~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kMg0DqtvHQ&feature=PlayList&p=E83878BA020CAE3B&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=17

i realy dont understand the humor here. senseless violence= failure.

This is odd. I sent Raz a PM and I think he read it. I asked if I could publicly come out with my identity and change my name. I'm not sure if he acknowledged or read those PM's but here's to hoping he did.

Yeah, I'm Sorgo.

I feel like a weight has been lifted. Unfortunately, If Raz didn't read my PM's and didn't notify the administration, I'm probably going to get banned into oblivion soon.

If Raz did tell them and I am allowed here, I'll be sure to change my name. 😛

For those who are interested in SWTOR; here is a video.
For those doubters here is some reassurance.
Happy face?

~:Mr.Anderson:~
boring, stupid, pointlessly insulting, and political. not anywhere near as funny.
Unless you're Glenn Beck, I can't see how it'd be insulting. And you weren't supposed to sit through the whole thing, just listen to the high pitched man scream at 3:52.

Spaz. 🤨

This is odd. I sent Raz a PM and I think he read it. I asked if I could publicly come out with my identity and change my name. I'm not sure if he acknowledged or read those PM's but here's to hoping he did.

Yeah, I'm Sorgo.

I feel like a weight has been lifted. Unfortunately, If Raz didn't read my PM's and didn't notify the administration, I'm probably going to get banned into oblivion soon.

If Raz did tell them and I am allowed here, I'll be sure to change my name.

mmm

On some level... I guess I always knew. Except I didn't....

mmm

Anyway, good luck on your acceptance and I hope to see you around soon. Lord knows we need the activity.....

shockfox

Eh, he's still on ignore.

😛

Originally posted by Genesis
😛

Hey Sorgo when you gonna hook it up with more of the "Sorgo's Daily Funnies"??