The Battle Bar, Our Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy

Started by mattatom3,287 pages

Originally posted by Nephthys
I'm writing it so no-one spoil it.
It involves the word.
Spoiler:
cat
.

I was going to say it was too long but f it, it's you and your awesome becuase you.... do... things. I guess. Maybe I'm just a push over.

Spoilered for obscene obscenity-

Spoiler:

Cartman- 'You guys wanna hear a funny joke my granpa told me?'
Kyle- 'No'
Cartman- 'Okay, so this family walks into a talent agency. Its a mother, a father, their son and daughter and a little baby. the father says to the talent agent, 'Sir, our family has an amazing act. We know that if you would let us perform it for you you'd want to sign us'. And the talent agent says, 'Sorry, we don't sign family acts they're too cutesy'. But the mother says, 'Please Sir, if you just give us too minutes we know you'll like our act'. So the talent agent says,' Alright you've got two minutes'. The family jumps right into it. The mother smiles and points at her son who hits play on a boom-box. Thilling circus music starts to play as the father spins his daughter around, bends her over and starts licking her assh0le.'
Kyle-...... 'What!?'
Cartman- 'Then the son lays down and opens his mouth while the mother tears off tear-away pants, squats down over his face and starts shitting all over it'.
Kyle- 'Dude!'
Cartman- 'Hold on, hold on. The father grabs the baby, rips off its diaper and starts sucking its cock, right, while the son, still with his mothers shit in his mouth goes over and starts licking the babies tiny little balls'
Kyle- 'Dude...'
Cartman- 'Hold on Kyle. Now the mother gets down on her back while the daughter gets up high on a chair and starts pissing all over her. Then the father and son take the baby and start stuffing it head first into the mothers vagina, while the daughters piss rains down on them.'
Kyle- 'Dude, just stop.'
Cartman- 'N-n-now hold on a minute Kyle, hold on. They get the baby half way in so that just his legs are sticking out, all kicking and flailing about. Then teh son takes the mothers shit out of his mouth and starts rubbing all over all of them while the father takes his cock and sticks in the babies assh0le and fvcks it while its still in its mother untill he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter'
Kyle- 'C-c-cartman I don't want to-'
Cartman- 'KYLE! Will you hold on please. Then the father gets up and says, 'And now for our impersination of the victims of 9/11'. And the whole family starts running around the room with their dicks and titties all covered in shit and piss and cum going, 'Ahhhhh! Ahhhh! The buildings coming down! Help!' And finally the family runs back to the centre of the room and says, 'Taaadaaa!'
And the talent agent, he just stares at them and sits there for the longest time. And finally he says, 'Jesus, thats a hell of an act what do you call it'. And the father says, 'The Aristocrats'.
......... Hehehe.'
Kyle- .........'I don't get it'.
Cartman- 'Neither do I'.

Edit: FUUUUCK YOU MATTATOM!!!!!!

Originally posted by Nephthys
I was going to say it was too long but f it, it's you and your awesome becuase you.... do... things. I guess. Maybe I'm just a push over.

I was leaning more towards b-i-t-c-h.

Please. We all know you're just dying to get a piece of this:

Hey, I played the entire KOTOR without sound yesterday, can you spend the next 24 hours of your meaningless existence and type up all the dialogue, including all the different responses and responses to those responses. Thanks b-i-t-c-h.

we all know hes dying to get this:

Originally posted by \\S//

😐

crylaugh

Something about the proportions in the last one seem off. It's like there is more to his arm than skin and bone. What's up with that?

Also: Ivalice.

He's gonna have a field day with this.

Originally posted by Dr McBeefington
Hey, I played the entire KOTOR without sound yesterday, can you spend the next 24 hours of your meaningless existence and type up all the dialogue, including all the different responses and responses to those responses. Thanks [b]b-i-t-c-h. [/B]

But the difference is I actually like Nemesis. If I wrote the dialogue for Kotor for you it would just be '**** you' repeated 39 million times coupled with pictures of me shitting on your sleeping face.

Besides, that took me 10 minutes tops and I enjoyed typing it out, just giggling to myself.

Originally posted by Nephthys
I was going to say it was too long but f it, it's you and your awesome becuase you.... do... things. I guess. Maybe I'm just a push over.

Spoilered for obscene obscenity-

Spoiler:

Cartman- 'You guys wanna hear a funny joke my granpa told me?'
Kyle- 'No'
Cartman- 'Okay, so this family walks into a talent agency. Its a mother, a father, their son and daughter and a little baby. the father says to the talent agent, 'Sir, our family has an amazing act. We know that if you would let us perform it for you you'd want to sign us'. And the talent agent says, 'Sorry, we don't sign family acts they're too cutesy'. But the mother says, 'Please Sir, if you just give us too minutes we know you'll like our act'. So the talent agent says,' Alright you've got two minutes'. The family jumps right into it. The mother smiles and points at her son who hits play on a boom-box. Thilling circus music starts to play as the father spins his daughter around, bends her over and starts licking her assh0le.'
Kyle-...... 'What!?'
Cartman- 'Then the son lays down and opens his mouth while the mother tears off tear-away pants, squats down over his face and starts shitting all over it'.
Kyle- 'Dude!'
Cartman- 'Hold on, hold on. The father grabs the baby, rips off its diaper and starts sucking its cock, right, while the son, still with his mothers shit in his mouth goes over and starts licking the babies tiny little balls'
Kyle- 'Dude...'
Cartman- 'Hold on Kyle. Now the mother gets down on her back while the daughter gets up high on a chair and starts pissing all over her. Then the father and son take the baby and start stuffing it head first into the mothers vagina, while the daughters piss rains down on them.'
Kyle- 'Dude, just stop.'
Cartman- 'N-n-now hold on a minute Kyle, hold on. They get the baby half way in so that just his legs are sticking out, all kicking and flailing about. Then teh son takes the mothers shit out of his mouth and starts rubbing all over all of them while the father takes his cock and sticks in the babies assh0le and fvcks it while its still in its mother untill he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter'
Kyle- 'C-c-cartman I don't want to-'
Cartman- 'KYLE! Will you hold on please. Then the father gets up and says, 'And now for our impersination of the victims of 9/11'. And the whole family starts running around the room with their dicks and titties all covered in shit and piss and cum going, 'Ahhhhh! Ahhhh! The buildings coming down! Help!' And finally the family runs back to the centre of the room and says, 'Taaadaaa!'
And the talent agent, he just stares at them and sits there for the longest time. And finally he says, 'Jesus, thats a hell of an act what do you call it'. And the father says, 'The Aristocrats'.
......... Hehehe.'
Kyle- .........'I don't get it'.
Cartman- 'Neither do I'.

Edit: FUUUUCK YOU MATTATOM!!!!!!


lmfao!!! Edit: That isn't enough letters: Roflmfaocoptr

I'm pretty sure that South Park is the best of the animated [mature] shows, simply because they can pull this off. (And that's coming from somebody that memorized something like 15 seasons of Simpsons dialogue.)

Originally posted by Nephthys
But the difference is I actually like Nemesis. If I wrote the dialogue for Kotor for you it would just be '**** you' repeated 39 million times coupled with pictures of me shitting on your sleeping face.

Besides, that took me 10 minutes tops and I enjoyed typing it out, just giggling to myself.

I think you're missing the point, whether you like someone or not. I'm not surprised.

Btw, great homo pics of one of you up there. May I suggest the gym, some kind of personal development, as well as a respectable social life?

You know, I've never seen Southpark.

Originally posted by Autokrat
You know, I've never seen Southpark.

So you haven't seen The Simpsons, nor South Park? Srsly.

I think SP is better than TS btw.

Interesting views. I like 9 out of 10 Simpsons episodes. I think 9 out of 10 South Park episodes are borderline retarded.

Originally posted by Slash_KMC
So you haven't seen The Simpsons, nor South Park? Srsly.

I think SP is better than TS btw.

I don't watch TV. I just buy a select few shows on DVD.

Originally posted by Dr McBeefington
Btw, great homo pics of one of you up there. May I suggest the gym, some kind of personal development, as well as a respectable social life?

You think thats bad check this out...
Originally posted by \\S//
I'll be the first to admit my masochistic & vane nature, and I really don't.

I believe in taking care of myself, a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine, in the morning if my face is a little puffy I wear an ice-pack while I do my stomach crunches, I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice-pack I use a deep pour cleanser lotion, in the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. I use a little hair gel to form a W hawk, and spray myself with cologne and a little fragrance called Drakkar Noir.

I have ridiculous standards for women, I will not date one unless they are "decent" models who have hard bodies and a decent personality to boot.

Originally posted by Dr McBeefington
Interesting views. I like 9 out of 10 Simpsons episodes. I think 9 out of 10 South Park episodes are borderline retarded.

South Park is getting better each season. The Simpsons only have a couple of new episodes that are actually better, but in general the quality is declining.

Originally posted by Autokrat
I don't watch TV. I just buy a select few shows on DVD.

I don't watch any TV either, I watch all the episodes online.

The Simpsons only have a couple of new episodes that are actually better, but in general the quality is declining.

It was one of the more recent CWSeries Treehouse of horrors that cinched it for me. There was a huge amount of hype for a terrible episode. (Bart is Sherlock holmes-esque, investigating Jack the ripper and it is Chief Wiggum (who, since he is british, likes eel pie) and it is a let down enormously.)

Having just gotten Dish recently, my SP knowledge is limited, but I like it a lot so far.

Watch South Park for free on allsp.com! Seriously Auto, watch it. Its very smart at times yet very stupid in all the right times.

And I have yet more reason to hate Beefy. I'd celibrate (wtf spellcheck?) if I wasn't filled with a murderous Raaaage!

You're breaking my heart.