Whats Great about being a Male
1. You never get pissed as fast as the chick you're cracking on to.
2. If you wear a suit & tie no one will think you're a lesbian.
3. You have no trouble whatsoever putting stuff off until tomorrow.
4. You get to operate heavy machinery.
5. You don't collapse in floods of tears if your partner says you look fine.
6. You feel perfectly comfortable wearing clothes you wore yesterday & left on the floor all night.
7. You're allowed to (even expected to) sweat heavily.
8. You can eat a banana while walking past a building site.
9. Telephone conversations are over in 30 seconds, no worries.
10. Push-ups are a lot easier.
11. The remote is yours & yours alone.
12. The bookies doesn't go quiet when you walk in.
13. You can buy condoms without the pharmacist imagining you naked.
14. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency tackle rearrangement.
15. People never glance at your tits when you're talking to them.
16. Hot wax never comes near your genitals.
17. Ricky Martin doesn't live in your universe.
18. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
19. Cricket seems like a good idea.
20. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy arse every night
21. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
22. You can become a garbo.
23. Bucks parties shit all over hens nights.
24. Not liking a person does not preclude having enjoyable sex with
them.
25. The world is your urinal.
26. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
27. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
28. When flicking through the TV channels, you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying.
29. You can open all your own jars.
30. Same work, more pay.
31. You can turn the bath into a beaut spa.
32. You can go years without having to see a doctor.
33. If you own a toaster you're never more than 2 minutes away from a tasty meal.
34. Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
35. A 5-day holiday requires only 1 suitcase.
36. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
37. Your undies are £6.99 for a three pack.
38. If another bloke shows up to a party in the same outfit, you might
become lifelong mates.
39. As long as your mums still alive, you can get your washing done at her place.
40. Wedding dress £2000; suit rental £100.
41. You can be Prime Minister.
42. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
43. Haircuts cost £6.
44. You can get a blow job.
45. You can become a catholic priest & have unlimited access to free wine.
46. You understand the offside rule.
47. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
48. If you don't call a mate when you say you will, he won't tell all your other mates you've changed.
49. You know stuff about tanks.
50. You think the idea of drop kicking a small dog is funny.