Originally posted by SelphieTNah, I refrain from constructive criticism, in fact, I mostly try to keep poetry criticism to myself and a few selected ones as I feel I couldn't write anything reasonable poetry wise myself. Only in the most obnoxious cases I might feel the need to call the poet an idiot.
So, constructive criticism would be nice, rather how you are stating it right now, which is rather confusing.
Well....glad to say yours are not obnoxious enough. To me, they seem to be quite up there by this forums standards actually. But that might just be cause the last three threads I visited hear made burning out my eyes with a couple of rusty needles seem a worthwhile option.
Originally posted by Bardock42
Nah, I refrain from constructive criticism, in fact, I mostly try to keep poetry criticism to myself and a few selected ones as I feel I couldn't write anything reasonable poetry wise myself. Only in the most obnoxious cases I might feel the need to call the poet an idiot.Well....glad to say yours are not obnoxious enough. To me, they seem to be quite up there by this forums standards actually. But that might just be cause the last three threads I visited hear made burning out my eyes with a couple of rusty needles seem a worthwhile option.
Not sure if I should feel good about that or not now......
Originally posted by Bardock42
Neutral. I would say. I don't think my opinion either way should influence your emotions on this.I like chatting with you doped
Yeah, you are right. If you hate it, you hate it. I'm proud of it, even though art could always use improvement, that's just how it is.
I too enjoy chatting with you. 😊
Just some new poetry I wrote today!
This one's about someone, it's quite obvious who it is if you just look.
God could only explain the way I
love you. Sometimes I feel you are my
everything. You protect me, and
never harm me. I hope you
need me like I need you.
And here's another.
I'm not a little girl,
I don't need you to linger.
I'm not going to be wrapped or curled,
around anybody's finger.
Don't show me those lubricated tears,
you and your love are fake.
I'm not scared of your pouty, dark leers,
touch me, it'll be your biggest mistake.
Something I wrote last night.
Her name was Lauren.
When she uttered the words,
my heels fell back to the floor, and,
I was opposite of self-assured.
We began as friends,
she truly was kind.
We talked of "to-the-ends",
and she crept into my mind.
We were now full grown,
her beauty suddenly breath-taking.
Her interest in me had shown,
my anxious body was shaking.
But as I drew near,
our relationship seemed slack.
Revealed was my deepest fear,
she didn't care back.
My heart felt the deepest shove,
I gave up on curiousity by then.
She was the only girl I've ever loved,
and her name was Laruen.
Here's one I wrote about a year ago. Found it while flipping through an old notebook. Not my best work, but it still holds a lot of meaning to me. Maybe I'll fix it up a little bit some other time, but I'll post it up as it was.
I do not see a future for me.
And I know you're thinking, how can that be?
Even though I'm not old, I've grown.
I truly think I'll be alone.
I really no longer want to live,
or see what life and people really have to give.
I don't think pain will just disappear,
it aches so bad, and that's my fear.
Could I possibly get over this?
Or maybe the pain will be something I'd miss...
Would anybody answer a plea,
to be there, and help someone like me?