The Sivience of the Ancient Monarchs

Not true

Very true

I forgot what we're talking about

Originally posted by Thoren
You haven't done anything with it, since the first page.

haermm

Mist_haermm_still_not_banned just comes

Mods are scared of Mist, he doesn't take shit from nobody. biscuits

I see Mist! I see Haermm! I see a socking mudda who don't take no crap off of nobdy!

mistboobs

Dear Misty:

I sometimes get self conscious about getting up to pee once an hour at work when no one else gets up for hours at a time

What do

Love, Michael

Dear Michael:

Take an empty bottle of water with you so everytime you get up to go pee you can pretend you're actually filling up your drink, then go pee. But do it, y'know, sneakily. So it's not like, "HAY EVERY1!!! LOOKIT IM GOING PEE PEEZZZZZZZ@!2@22@@2"

Love, Misty

Dear Misty:

I took a water bottle to the break room as you instructed. But I accidently peed in the bottle in the break room, and now I'm afraid to leave with a bottle of pee. What should I do? I'm standing here shaking in the break room typing this from my phone and the water bottle is leaking because it's so full. Will I have to drink it to get out of here?

Love, Michael

Dear Misty:

Please hurry, the stench is overwhelming and people are knocking to get in here now.

Love, Michael

Dear Michael:

Throw the ****ing bottle in the trash, and walk out back to your desk. If anyone asks you what you were doing in there so long, say you should mind your own business.

Regards, Thoren

Dear Thoren:

I hid the bottle in my pants leg and went back to my desk. I sat there for two hours afraid to leave, before finally getting the courage to leave and go to class.

Later, in art class, I saw 2D girl and smiled at her. Suddenly the bottle came crashing out of my pant leg and exploded open all over the floor and Trevor's assignment. I farted and got up to run out of the class. My eyes watered and so I couldn't see where I was going so I ran into the desk and slipped in the puddle of cold pisswater. I slid headlong into 2D girl's desk, pushing her chair slightly, causing her to tilt backwards and split her head open. I threw up in my mouth while everyone was swearing at me and crawled slowly to her curled body. She looked up into my eyes and gagged, before whispering "Why isn't Mist banned yet?"

I screamed "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" and swayed on the spot before landing spreadeagled next to her dead body. The blood from her head flowed freely into my mouth like a cool drink and I gagged again before throwing up sideways into her head. The pisswater, everflowing, spread from across the room and finally I felt it near my toes. I waited as the icy wave of human pisswater engulfed us and I sighed as I let the angels take my body up.

I was finally with her.

Love, Michael

Dear Michael:

I haermm'd at your whole letter. Don't worry, I'll get mist banned, and make sure your tombstone doesn't read, "Here lies Michael Barker, father to many a trained pokemon, and the bane of 2d-girl".

Hope you're doing well in heaven, and not noneermming God.

Regards, Thoren

Dear Armando:

I appreciate your support in this matter. Please forward his entrails and horns to:

B. Woofer
1331 Heaven Lane
Heaven, Heaven 61944

Enclosed is a check for $7.17. Please use this money to purchase a diamond ring and send it back to me via post. There are no diamond stores in heaven. I need a ring to propose to my future wife postmortem!

Regards,
Woofer

Dear B.Bear

I will get whatever ring I can with $7.17, but it might be from a gumball machine. I will indeed send Mist's entrails and horns to your requested address.

Good luck with the proposal, hope she says yes, and you have lots of....soul babies.

Give my love to God, if he says he doesn't know who I am, tell him this exactly. "Hey do you remember, May 16th, 2004?' He'll know what it means.

Regards,
Thornthorn

Dear Thorinn,

That will be fine. I do not believe the value of the ring will matter to Alexis, she loves me for who I am. And we're stuck together because no one else will date her because of the piss/throw up/blood smell she took with her to heaven.

We will repopulate the heaven, and perhaps send you down a little bundle of joy! 🙂

He laughed and told me to get out of his office. I peeked in the window and he was putting. Then he saw I was peeking in and banged on the window. Then the secretary came into the office.

Regards,
Boofer.

Dear Plo-koon_forever

I didn't know souls brought stank with them? You learn something knew everyday. The wife says hello, and she regrets not getting to know you haermm.

Yeah, he can get a bit touchy when you mention May 16th, 2004. Hey is his receptionist still that blond with big juggs?

Sincerely,
~Mitsurugi~

Dear Senior Member,

It smells like shit in the suburbs up here, but it's minty fresh in downtown Heaven where the good people end up. Tell the wife HAERMM for me.

He twitches when I mention it. She had to get a reduction because they were weighing her down through the clouds and people could see up her skirt from earth.

Regards,
Warker