Originally posted by Röland
crylaugh"We never had a pool, right. So one summer, I remember. My dad, to make me happy. You know I was bummed out cause we didn't have the pool. So one summer he bought us this thing. It was yellow, you layed it on the lawn, sprayed it with the water, run across. Slip n' Slide. Yeah. Would of been fun if dad checked for rocks before he layed it down! Slip n' Bleed from the aaaaanus they shoulda called this ride."
I remember those crylaugh
Originally posted by Leo.M
I remember those crylaugh
"Remember those Kool-Aid commercials? Where that big talking bowl of punch, he would come crashing through your f*cking wall? You wouldn't even know and he'd be like *PPFFFFFF* "OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!" Right? And the little kids were all excited "Yes YES!" And then they would drink out of him after debris fell in his open, dumb head. He would pour himself "OH YEAH! OH YEAH!" Him and his crazy tights, I don't like that, I don't like when juice wears tights, it's a horrible combination a bowl of juice wearing tights. F*CK drinking out of him, if that was me I'd be like, "No no no you fix that wall before my dad gets home from work, he's gonna beat me with a belt he's not gonna believe a talking bowl of fruit punch came in here. You stupid idiot. Yea, coming through the wall is real f*cking cool, USING THE FRONT DOOR IS COOL! Don't touch me you drink! Don't touch me you giant beverage! You are sweating or condensating I will kick you in the tights and you will go down you're very top heavy. You glass b*tch! You glass bastard! "OH YEAH!" "OH NO! Naughty naughty Kool-Aid!" "Oh yeah?" "No, no."
That is the best one ever. 13
Originally posted by Röland
"Remember those Kool-Aid commercials? Where that big talking bowl of punch, he would come crashing through your f*cking wall? You wouldn't even know and he'd be like *PPFFFFFF* "OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!" Right? And the little kids were all excited "Yes YES!" And then they would drink out of him after debris fell in his open, dumb head. He would pour himself "OH YEAH! OH YEAH!" Him and his crazy tights, I don't like that, I don't like when juice wears tights, it's a horrible combination a bowl of juice wearing tights. F*CK drinking out of him, if that was me I'd be like, "No no no you fix that wall before my dad gets home from work, he's gonna beat me with a belt he's not gonna believe a talking bowl of fruit punch came in here. You stupid idiot. Yea, coming through the wall is real f*cking cool, USING THE FRONT DOOR IS COOL! Don't touch me you drink! Don't touch me you giant beverage! You are sweating or condensating I will kick you in the tights and you will go down you're very top heavy. You glass *****! You glass bastard! "OH YEAH!" "OH NO! Naughty naughty Kool-Aid!" "Oh yeah?" "No, no."That is the best one ever. 13
I LOVE THAT ONE! 😱
Originally posted by Röland
"Remember those Kool-Aid commercials? Where that big talking bowl of punch, he would come crashing through your f*cking wall? You wouldn't even know and he'd be like *PPFFFFFF* "OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!" Right? And the little kids were all excited "Yes YES!" And then they would drink out of him after debris fell in his open, dumb head. He would pour himself "OH YEAH! OH YEAH!" Him and his crazy tights, I don't like that, I don't like when juice wears tights, it's a horrible combination a bowl of juice wearing tights. F*CK drinking out of him, if that was me I'd be like, "No no no you fix that wall before my dad gets home from work, he's gonna beat me with a belt he's not gonna believe a talking bowl of fruit punch came in here. You stupid idiot. Yea, coming through the wall is real f*cking cool, USING THE FRONT DOOR IS COOL! Don't touch me you drink! Don't touch me you giant beverage! You are sweating or condensating I will kick you in the tights and you will go down you're very top heavy. You glass b*tch! You glass bastard! "OH YEAH!" "OH NO! Naughty naughty Kool-Aid!" "Oh yeah?" "No, no."That is the best one ever. 13
crylaugh
"Who gets killed by bees? Anytime they come on the news and say "Um, yeah, a man was killed in Austin by bees." I just ****ing laugh. How do you get killed by bees? If you're walking through the woods right and you come near a bush and you hear 'bbbbzzzbbzz' just you know... just run away from that bush. Who's going by that bush going, "Hey is that bees? Hold on on second, ohhh jeez!" Dude, **** that. I would punch every bee in the face! Bees are not taking me out. I be like "Oh yeah? **** you bee! Come on! Yah bzzz. Where's the next bee at?" It's a ****in' bee. I could understand killer horses... that's scary sh**... flying through the air and kicking you in the face. That's scary. **** bees. **** bees."
Originally posted by Leo.M
crylaugh"Who gets killed by bees? Anytime they come on the news and say "Um, yeah, a man was killed in Austin by bees." I just ****ing laugh. How do you get killed by bees? If you're walking through the woods right and you come near a bush and you hear 'bbbbzzzbbzz' just you know... just run away from that bush. Who's going by that bush going, "Hey is that bees? Hold on on second, ohhh jeez!" Dude, **** that. I would punch every bee in the face! Bees are not taking me out. I be like "Oh yeah? **** you bee! Come on! Yah bzzz. Where's the next bee at?" It's a ****in' bee. I could understand killer horses... that's scary sh**... flying through the air and kicking you in the face. That's scary. **** bees. **** bees."
"Did sharks like get together and go, "Let's start attacking people." A guy in the news, again, the other day. A couple days ago, he got bit by a shark. The shark let him go. He was telling the story, they brought him back to the beach. Which is just where he wants to ****ing be, anywhere near the ocean again. And the news reporter was like, "What happened? Why did the shark attack you? Were you taunting it?" "Yeah, I go in the sea sometimes just to **** around with the sharks. I have this thing called a Shark Rocket and I shoot it at them. And it really annoys them. And then I just wade there in the water and they come at me. But I'm really good at eluding them. I know this hip move, it's something porpoises do and I then I pretend that I have a bottleneck and I stab them in the gills. And it really is effective..." "How did you get away?" "I just punched it and it let me go." Let's recap this. A ****in' shark come through the water... right and this guy... Hey! The ****in' shark goes over to this guy... bites, this guy punches it in the face and a shark goes ALRIGHT! And tell me there's no time in your life when you swim faster than when a ****in' shark lets you go, your just like "Aahhh no," you're on the beach, "Aahhh no!" ****ing shark lets you go and if you don't get pussy with that story, "You want to see my scar?"
crylaugh
"I never wanted to be a fireman. If I go to a house and it was fully on fire, f*ck that I'd quit. I would just stand outside and watch it burn with everybody else. The women next to me would be like "Please my son he's screaming in there!" I'd be like "Well he's probably on fire. That's what happens when you're on fire lady your..what are you doing out here you f*ckin think for yourselfer?! Why don't you make a map for him or something?!"