"Superman was originally a mental health patient in Salt Lake City, Utah, and always was in a rush to get changed, when he was introduced to the thinking of L. Ron Hubbard, and was inspired to discontinue his therapy and become a scientologist in order to cure him of his psychosis. Ten years and $1,000,000 earned from pimping children later, he attained level 20 and shed his body thetans, which cured him of his psychosis and gained him his superpowers. Superman has said he experienced a "miraculous" improvement in his mental condition, and now only kills children if they insult him."
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