Entity
Illuminati Founder
My girlfriend won't stand up to her family. Is there anything I can do?
My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. I've only dated 1 other girl longer than 4 months and that was only 10. She's only had 1 other boyfriend ever back when she was in college for a few months. We are great together in nearly every way. Its what we call a very yin yang relationship. We're either completely the same or completely the opposite in everything. But we fit together perfectly.
Except here's the problem, most of her family or well her immediate family, (mother, sister, grandmother, aunt n uncle) are insane! Her uncle is ok actually allot like myself, we've both noticed it but the rest are completely anti male anything not blood related. Hell her uncle has basically been her father n treated them like one. Even letting her, her mother, grandmother n sis move into his house while him n his wife moved into a much smaller one. Way back when they started highschool like 12 years ago. Yet for all he does and puts up with they talk about him like he's worthless.
Anyway the problem is alone we are perfect but they always want to constantly try to convince her I'm worthless and don't treat her right or make enough money or do enough for her. Then they see her all week, she's a teacher and I work 2nd shift mon-thur so all we have is weekends, yet they claim they never get any time with her. Seems like every weekend her family has organised something to do as a family. Most the time its just drive around have lunch and go to the mall or a park or watch a reality show she doesn't even care about. N if we've made plans they try to guilt her out of them or her sister, who's 21 n only worked a day n 1/2 at walmart her whole life, invites herself or txt her till she does then expects me to pay for everything and even complains about where we wanna eat or wanna do like she's the one paying and we're inconveincing her by coming along and driving her around for free. N if I don't pay for them both then my girlfriend does and to me that defeats the purpose of me trying to take her out for a date. Its like I'm paying for all her sisters stuff when I can't stand her sister and want to be no where near her. Then we I get mad n we have any kind of talk about it she tell's her family how I feel n they claim I'm a jerk for not wanting them up our *** in everything we do. It just burns me the worst because she never stands up for herself and always caves whenever they get onto her about something. She's nearly 26 and lets them treat her like she's 12. She never even spent a night away from home until we'd been dating a few months other then weeknights in college in the dorms. Last summer I convinced her to finally rent her own appartment but they had to convince her she had to take her sister because she shouldn't live alone. Well of course her sister ran up all the bills n always had her take her to eat and do whatever till she was broke and had to move back home. Just like I tried to warn her. She even admits I'm right about most the things I point out and says she's starting to stand up for herself but she never does atleast not when they fight back much at all. The most she does is still come to see me if we've made plans and they can't convince her of a reason she shouldn't be doing anything other than be with them the whole time.
I love her more than I anyone I've ever met and she gets me as exactly who I really am. I've never found anything so great without having to force anything or try to act. But this family thing keeps circling our relationship. Its been nearly 2 years and I just don't know how I can keep taking this if she keeps letting them n especially her sister control her. I don't want to lose her but I really donno how long I can keep letting them treat her like this n don't see how I can do anything to stop it that won't just end our relationship anyway. The best I can see us becoming like this is her aunt and uncle and I can't be stuck up their *** 4 days a week like they are or talked about and treated like they do her uncle.
What can I do to finally convince her to stand up for herself, stop letting them control her and finally leave the nest n quit helping them all enable her sister to do nothing but use people?
I really don't want her to lose her family or stop talking to them n I know I shouldn't and wouldn't want to but I just don't see how she's ever going to be able to have her own life otherwise. Unless she finally does and somewhat pushes them away like allot of her other extended family I've met who are actually pretty normal but only around for birthdays holidays and occasional visits once or twice inbetween.
Sorry for the long post but wanted to explain in decent detail and really want help with this. I love her very much and realize I won the lotto when I got with her but we've kept coming back to this as a problem since the beginning and looking for any solutions other then us breaking up.
Sorry looking anywhere I can for help with this one!