KMC: Family Sitcom

As I promised to Vinny, I said I would compile the silly little scenes that seem to burst forth from my mind into one big kind of sitcom thingy. He seems rather optimistic about it.

Most of my threads seem to die, but I’m hopeful about this one, so. Here’s the first one I posted. Too lazy to find Ken being launched.

Originally posted by DarkC
(Kramer's room)

Kramer: *throwing darts at the wall sulkily*
Kramer: Vinny's starting to get on my nerves.
Dusty: I are on your bed stealing your Z's.
Kramer: ...
Kramer: Dude, can you cut Caturday shit out? Anyways, he's been dipping into my personal porno collection again after I told him not to.
Dusty: Hmmmm.
Kramer: I need to get back at him somehow.
Dusty: Well, I suppose we could always get him back with the sapling noose trick.

(four hours later)
Kramer: He's back from lacrosse practise, he'll take his customary shower and go off to change in his room like he usually does.
Dusty: And when he does, he'll be hanging naked upside down by his ankle.

(They high five each other, and crouch behind a dresser to watch.)

Irene: Vinny, where are you? I need some of your magazines to cut up for a trifold.

Kramer: NONONONONNONONO!
Dusty: WAITWAITWAIT!

(TWANG)

Irene: WHAT THE ****??!

(Dusty jumps out the window, and Kramer runs into the bathroom and unzips.)

(A massive thud is heard, resulting from someone hurling a tight packed snowball at the window. Caught off guard, Kramer sprays everywhere.)

Kramer: (Runs to the window in a rage, dripping with urine.) YOU ****ING WHACK-BLOWN EXCUSE FOR A PIECE OF HORSESH**!!!!

Ronny: ….hi.
Kramer: Oh. 😮 Hi.
Ronny: So….uh, what’s up? Did I scare you?
Kramer: Not much, just was taking a…..a wee-wee.
Ronny: A wee-wee?
Kramer: A wee-wee.
Ronny: (embarrassed) Oooh, cool. Is that…is that what they call it in Aussie land?
Kramer: Yeah.
Ronny: Are you, ah….busy?
Kramer: Well, I’m not really finished yet.
Ronny: Oh. bag I’ll just…drop by later then.
Kramer: You do that, you do that.

(Meanwhile…)

(Vinny wraps himself in a towel, grabs some clothes from the dresser, and heads for his room, opening the door.)
Irene: (upside down) Hi.
Vinny: reeve
(Vinny shuts the door again, counts to three, and opens it up again.)
Irene: (upside down) Hi.

Vinny: 😐 So….what the bloody hell happened here?
Irene: (dripping sarcasm)Well, I appear to have been snagged with an old fashioned sapling noose, and I dunno if I can retain consciousness much longer.

can i be the cool next door neighbor?

hysterical

I Love you David.

So Bloody much, I do.

Really, this is an awesome idea. 😄

I got to see Kramers penis? Heck yes, I'm ballin. 😱

i love to pop in!!!

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
i love to pop in!!!

hahah!!

I want a guest appearance!
😱

😆

I had damn well better appear in this!

Vinny: Okay, hold on, let me grab a knife and I’ll cut you down.
Vinny: Shame you weren’t wearing a skirt.
Irene: Vinny, ew!
Vinny: I’m going, I’m going!

(Vinny, in his rush to help, lets his towel drop and churns out the door, butt naked.)

Irene: Oh, for the love of God. There are much better things to do than see your kid brother naked.

(Nearby, Kramer starts laughing hysterically.)
Kramer: HAHAHAHAHA! I CAN MAKE MY NECK FART! HAHAHAHA!

(squeaky flatulence sounds follow.)

Irene: Dear Heavenly Jesus: you are mean.

(Vinny comes back, thankfully with a pair of jeans on, and starts sawing away at the noose.)
Vinny: What were you doing in my room?
Irene: I needed some magazines to cut up for my trifold. Project.
Vinny: Well, would it have killed you to knock first?
Irene: I didn’t know where you were, and besides I got hung up like an animal anyways.

(Irene hits the floor with a thud.)

Irene: (Eyes watering furiously)Would it have killed you to put a few pillows under me and give me a bit of warning?
Vinny: Yes.
Vinny: Anyways, here are your magazines, I’d like them back after.

Irene: 😐
Irene: Not those magazines, Vinny.

Vinny: Oh.

YOU NEVER Fail to Amuse me.

hysterical

*taps foot*

Irene: I’ll forget this happened.
Vinny: Thanks.
Irene: Where are the People magazines mom told you to recycle?
Vinny: Oh, I got bored and had a looksie through them.
Vinny: Paris Hilton got into another car accident.

(Both laugh raucously for several minutes.)

(Massive flatulence sound erupts from the bathroom, followed by raucous laughter from Kramer.)

Irene. reeve
Irene: Creep.
Vinny: He taped pictures of Whoopi Goldberg all over my room the other day. So who the hell did this to you?

Irene: Considering that Damian and Dustin were the only ones who tried to prevent me from stepping into it, I’d say it was them trying to hit you. Why though?
Vinny: (subtly shifts the Playboys under his bed) Absolutelyballygory no idea.
Irene: Okay. Well, I’m out. Don’t worry about the two, I’ll tell daddy against them.

(two hours later)

Ken: KRAMER! DUSTIN! GET YOUR WEASELY ARSES DOWN HERE NOW!

(Dustin and Damian cringes, attempting to hide out in their room.)
Dustin: Sorry dad! We’re darning each other’s socks!
Damian: Maybe some other time, big guy!

(Ken fires a 12-gauge shotgun blast through the door, embedding the two in a shower of flying splinters.)

Dusty: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!
Kramer: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

hysterical

Can I be the recorded audience laugh?

*Sitcom laugh*

Get me in on this

hysterical

A fantastic read David! BTW, name's spelt Damien.

That would so happen if me, Dustin & Neil knew each other in real life. If we did It'd all be like "WTFPWNZORZ!1"

Originally posted by Kram3r
hysterical

A fantastic read David! BTW, name's spelt Dami[b]en.

That would so happen if me, Dustin & Neil knew each other in real life. If we did It'd all be like "WTFPWNZORZ!1" [/B]

Hehehe, enough to rival my sprite comix.

Originally posted by Lana
😆

I had damn well better appear in this!

Your sig looks like it's trapped in a puddle of water mixed with oil and it's shining in the day light.