Woohoo, official off-topic thread!

Originally posted by Nemesis X
I thought there was a law that if you jerk off in public, you get arrested or is that outside Swedish jurisdictions?

Originally posted by NemeBro
In case you missed it, I jerked off in my English class. 131

Teachers don't call the the cops on elementary schoolers, they call the parents.

Was actually only like two to three months ago.

So yeah I had a dream last night I'm going to share with you all.

I was in my house watching Spongebob on the couch, when some of my punkass friends come in and say we're going to the beach. I was like "K" and they all left except for this one girl I know. For some reason I cannot remember we start making out, and she gives me a handjob right before I start eating her out. Was kewl. Then for some reason I was in front of a spooky mansion. Not sure why

So I enter the mansion and when I enter I am in a small room and some weird monster zombie thing attacks me, which I proceed to kill with a gun I inexplicably have. I then pull out of the wound what can only be described as resembling a spool of sewing thread. I leave the mansion and end up at an airport, and give the spool to some woman. This spool of thread is apparently the monster's brain, and

she tells me it has a brother and I need to get its brain. Only I never do that and instead end up in some forest or something in a war between Men and Elves, fighting the Elves. I kill a few elves with a sword and then go into a wooden cabin, which has no elves but a bunch of robots in it which I shoot with another gun I inexplicably obtained
That is all I remember

Zane says:
wut
Shane says:
Dunno
Started off with hawt girl seckz ended with killing robots

Copied from an MSN convo with FinalAnswer.

That episode of trueblood was ****ing amazing.

I had a weird dream too. Let's just say that never again will I watch Bleach and The Wedding Singer (starring Adam Sandler) on the same day. It resulted with a dream that made no sense at all.

I had a dream Quanchi was actually smart.

Originally posted by Nemesis X
I had a weird dream too. Let's just say that never again will I watch Bleach and The Wedding Singer (starring Adam Sandler) on the same day. It resulted with a dream that made no sense at all.

Originally posted by Phanteros
I had a dream Quanchi was actually smart.

That is one of those dreams that cannot become true.

Originally posted by ScreamPaste
That dream where Adam Sandler cuts off Kenpachi's penis and has sex with the hole? Makes sense, just is kinda strange.

He could just go to a hollow for a hole, instead of trying to cut off Kenpachi's dick...which BTW, 2 chainsaws could not cut off. estahuh

Was that a slight against Sarge? uhuh Sarge would destroy Kenpachi with only a wiggle of his chest hair. estahuh

Originally posted by ScreamPaste
That dream where Adam Sandler cuts off Kenpachi's penis and has sex with the hole? Makes sense, just is kinda strange.

No and your mentality is questionable.

Originally posted by ScreamPaste
Was that a slight against Sarge? uhuh Sarge would destroy Kenpachi with only a wiggle of his chest hair. estahuh

Not if Kenny used TWO HANDS

Nope.

The Sarge would solo the Bleach-verse.

Nah.

TWO HANDS is so powerful, he'd even be able to cut through your fat ass with one swing.

Originally posted by RE: Blaxican
Nope.

The Sarge would solo the Bleach-verse.

Ichigo's power of determination >>> Sarge

Originally posted by FinalAnswer
Nah.

TWO HANDS is so powerful, he'd even be able to cut through your fat ass with one swing.

Nah.

You're completely wrong

ATTENTION EVERYONE

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...
<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

THAT IS ALL

ROFL crylaugh

Originally posted by FinalAnswer
ATTENTION EVERYONE

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...
<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

THAT IS ALL

You're about ten years late 😛