my new poems

Started by DangerousBeauty24 pages

o.o

exactly my point

Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
in my time of pain and sorrow, i wanted a dream to come true
to find someone who's pure at heart, that someone was you

I really liked this line. Very cute 😊

hehe thank you buddy

do you really care?

as i lie here with blood pouring out of fresh wounds
i now realise that my time here on earth is to end soon
theres no pain from the cut, just the memory of you
also, the thought of my death being your fault hurts too

i wish i was back in a time of no pain
a time where your love wasn't in vain
when we were happy to spend time together
a time where you said you'd love me forever

my vision slowly burns to black and grey
there was never a thought of how this could end another way
i wish i could warn the next guy of your slow poison to the heart
so when you leave he won't go the same way i'm about to depart

the visions of marriage pass my tear filled eyes
now i'll have another place where family and friends will cry
a painful sight of me caused by your beauty and your might
a lonely house with silence throughout the whole night

tears run down to mix with my blood across the floor
i close my eyes for im getting tired and they're getting sore
through my clenched eyes tears of you still run free
i just wish to know why you did this to me

my time is near i can hear it call to me like the way you used to
i can care less now if this act of mine will actually hurt you
i just could care less of your worhtless, self-sacrificng life
and i can care a lot less that you used to call yourself my wife

i see the end of my rope, my time has come to an end
these are my last memories to you i send
don't come visit me when im buried like you care
because why now would you want to be there?

this is it, im gone from this place of Hell
i can hear the slow rthym of the death-knell
looks like you had the last laugh, like you said you always do
just remember, the blood and tears on the floor are just for you.

~this poem was just something i decided to wirte...please don't worry..Justin aka Benjii~

WoW!!!!!!!!

really some thing. I love this one 😱 (I dont often say that!!)

great the rythem is better too. but then again I can kinda relate to the topic, so I'm a little bias 😄 brilliant, keep it coming.

thank you....i'm working on 2 different ones right now

Originally posted by XvampbenjiiX666
i wonder if you still love me even though you have no memory of me
when we woke one morning, you didn't remember, and it hurt so badly
i know you most feel pain, but not from the memory loss but from cancer
and i know that me yelling at you isn't the answer
everything i want you to know is written in this letter
i hope then when your done reading it i'll feel better
i cheated on you not once not twice but three times
i've been convicted on several different crimes
i lied to you about my drinking and drank with friends
i also lied when i didn't cut anymore but i did on weekends
i was at the hospital when i said i went down south
because my foster parents called you a liar and a whore so i hit both of them in the mouth
i was always doing the same jackass shit i always loved to do
and sometimes i never got to say i love you
but now if i do i know you wouldn't matter
and knowing what i didn was wrong my heart has been shattered
i'm sorry for everything i did and i wish you could forgive me
if not i understand, i'll leave and let you be
but know this i still love you
and i hope you still love me to

this was kinda a true storry....something i'm not proud of

I'm reminded of a sophomoric attempt at a blatant redemption for guilt without guile. Your words to express your thoughts and feelings feels trite and heavy handed, touched with insincerity that my brain rides in a tumultuous conundrum. Express yourself without expressing yourself with excess.

if you dont like it dont read!

XvampbenjiiX666, Pay no attention, hes just being pretentious. I really like your stuff. some ppl just dont kow how to appreciate it.

These are well made.

thank you Lara and Scythe...umm i'm slow in the summer and i have no clue at what the Hell that guy was trying to tell me

Originally posted by Fëanor
I'm reminded of a sophomoric attempt at a blatant redemption for guilt without guile. Your words to express your thoughts and feelings feels trite and heavy handed, touched with insincerity that my brain rides in a tumultuous conundrum. Express yourself without expressing yourself with excess.

Best thing said in this thread...possibly this forum.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Best thing said in this thread...possibly this forum.
go burn in Hell

Bardy, play nice!!!!!

its ok..he has his opinions....

😬yeah but there is no excuse for being an arse!

..nobody does...

Originally posted by Lara
if you dont like it dont read!

XvampbenjiiX666, Pay no attention, hes just being pretentious. I really like your stuff. some ppl just dont kow how to appreciate it.

Then what would be the point of one submitting a prosaic verbal tirade if one is not wanting one's opinion whether it's for or against? If you expose yourself to the world in whatever way, then it is quite often that one must endure ridicule or accolades. And it doesn't matter if said submitter of verse wanted or required an opinion of one's work, it is there for those to opine an opinion. The saying goes: One does not become better when one only hears what they want to hear and if all they hear are: great job! awesome work! dude...you are by far...da bomb!
Do you see where I'm going with this?
So telling me to NOT read it, is like Michealangelo telling the people to NOT gawp at the Pieta, which to me is an incredible piece or work.

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