Why didn't the Soviets go after the Ark?

*Slaps oliver and sells him to those Nigerians from District 9, telling them that Oliver can operate Alien weapons*

Isn't Oliver a WMD?

A weapon of mass pickpocketting, maybe.....

Weapon of Mass Drinking.

Ohhhhhhh You mean Oliver Reed!

I meant Oliver Twist.

They are the only two Olivers to exist ever, and I thought you meant the other one.

Why would I discuss the other one? Nowhere near as good to make fun of.

Oh yes he was. He grew up to be Michael Jackson's weirdo friend.

Because of his last name: Twist?

Hah thats very ironic.

Quite.

Oliver Twisted would be a great horror movie.

"Pleaaaaaase Sir...? Can I have somemore entrails"
"Ooooh you gotta eat a brainstem or two" etc

Sounds like another BBC cooking programme.

😂 I hate them. I hate them allllllllllllllllll.

I already know how to do beans on toast. 😛

You do sound like you watch them a lot though.

Its Sadako guilty pleasure he's been trying to hide from us.

One of the many. He also likes to watch all series of the Cosby Show in a nonstop marathon.

I'd love it if he and Gordon Ramsey teamed up:

Cosby: "And here we have the beans sliiiiiiiiding and a bumping a round like when you'd go to the shop when it had beeen a snowin' an you sliiiiiiiiiide this wayyyyyyyy boppin' that way Zoooooooooooooooom an-."

Ramsey: "These beans're shit, you f***ing, c***ing, idiot who couldnt f***ing cook a sun, you c***wit, f***ing c**k f***ing c**t arsehole...!!!!!"

Next on BBC1: Songs of praise, presented by Alistar Crowley with knives and Harry Secome's ghost armed with a zipgun.

They should make you head of television at the Beeb. Programming would certainly improve.

😛 Thank you.
To ensure massive ratings, my debut schedule would open with
a three hour special called "Gordo gets fisted" where top British Prime Ministers are inivited to be fisted in the bottom for three hours by Reggie "The hammer" Smith from Hammersmith in a live televisual event that would scour and explore every nook, crevice and cranny of the modern politic. 😛

I'm off to London to fire the lot. What color would you like your office walls to have?