I agree with badwolf. My girlfriend of over a year now was my best friend for like five years before I ever came out and told her how I felt. And like I said, ove a year, now, and the two of us have only ever had one fight. The friendship acts like a foundation. Think of it that way: The relationship itself, should it become manifest, is like a house, the friendship of all this time being the foundation. If the foundation is strong enough, the house can weather anything, hypothetically speaking. Build it slowly, and tell her that you have something you want to tell her. Get her to the side, and tell her you've been thinking about it for a little while now and would really like to give a relationship a chance, but that if she doesn't want to, simply to say so and all will be well. Explain that you don't want to make things awkward, but that you had to put it out in the open, anyway, so you wouldn't have to spend the rest of your life wondering. If you do this in the correct manner, no matter what happens, if she's truly a friend, nothing bad can come of it either way. In my personal opinion, anyway... I could be wrong, my situation could just be a fluke. Dunno...
Originally posted by Ripper Jacc
I agree with badwolf. My girlfriend of over a year now was my best friend for like five years before I ever came out and told her how I felt. And like I said, ove a year, now, and the two of us have only ever had one fight. The friendship acts like a foundation. Think of it that way: The relationship itself, should it become manifest, is like a house, the friendship of all this time being the foundation. If the foundation is strong enough, the house can weather anything, hypothetically speaking. Build it slowly, and tell her that you have something you want to tell her. Get her to the side, and tell her you've been thinking about it for a little while now and would really like to give a relationship a chance, but that if she doesn't want to, simply to say so and all will be well. Explain that you don't want to make things awkward, but that you had to put it out in the open, anyway, so you wouldn't have to spend the rest of your life wondering. If you do this in the correct manner, no matter what happens, if she's truly a friend, nothing bad can come of it either way. In my personal opinion, anyway... I could be wrong, my situation could just be a fluke. Dunno...
Wow, i have nearly already given up on thinking positive. That's the way I actually wanted to go, the way I had in mind when I found that I had fallen in love. But It's hard to find the right time - and it's also at the moment really difficult to carry it with me any longer and not just go ahead shouting it all out.
And then there's still the fear to deter her from being close..
And the knowledge that she's just happy to be free and not bound to anyone again..
If I told her, and she'd not be ready or interested, I was thinking if time would maybe be able to change her mind.. That this can have a belated 'happy end'...
Ok, I'm becoming conspirative. 🙄 I just kind of lost my serious hope in the past weeks..
And I know I'm just trying to evade telling her. 🙁
I made the mistake of telling the girl when this happened to me, and it obviously didn't turn out well. We were friends for a while, then someone told her that I liked her. I said that it was the truth, but we never really said anything about it afterward. Later, when I did ask her, (out) it turned into this really awkward situation that killed the friendship.
My advice: balance it out. Does your friendship matter more or less than having this girl for a while. If you think that she's the one, take the risk.
p.s. You don't know me, so i've got no right to tell you anything, but you can't stop me from rambling on message boards. Remember that no matter what anyone here says, its your decision.
Originally posted by Jbill311
I made the mistake of telling the girl when this happened to me, and it obviously didn't turn out well. We were friends for a while, then someone told her that I liked her. I said that it was the truth, but we never really said anything about it afterward. Later, when I did ask her, (out) it turned into this really awkward situation that killed the friendship.My advice: balance it out. Does your friendship matter more or less than having this girl for a while. If you think that she's the one, take the risk.
p.s. You don't know me, so i've got no right to tell you anything, but you can't stop me from rambling on message boards. Remember that no matter what anyone here says, its your decision.
I agree with this, also. I don't think I'd have taken the risk if I didn't think Kit was the one.
It had to be said. It was about time. And I came to realise that. Even if I did not exactly 'win'. So I thank you for reminding me of what's just been right.
I don't know, but I wrote this tonight and have a feeling that it belongs in this thread more than anywhere else where it could be seen.
LISA
To read that name still evokes feelings of happiness. It's such a dominant feeling that everything seems forgotten - the hopelessness, the fear that's connected to it...
Lisa
I enjoy hearing this name. When I hear it, my heart seems to jump, and it takes a moment until I realise that she's not the only girl carrying this name. I heard this name many times in school, or somewhere around the town. Every time I had to remember anew that there are at least 5 Lisas I knew before.
lisa
If spelled in capitals or small, this name just seems to fit. It's so obvious this is the most beautiful name in the world, and wondrous that I did not know this a long time before Lisa F. came into my life.
Lisa!
Probably I'm repeating. I can't stop thinking of that Lisa. My love.
_
I LOVE YOU. ♥ and it feels good - yet hurts so bad.
(She will not be on here.)