Aussie Stories, Amirite?

SO MICHAEL, CHICKS AT JB, MATE, SWEAR THE CHICKS, MATE, GOT THIS COUNTER GIRL RIGHT, HALF AUSSO, HALF JAP, MATE, EVERYTIME I TALK MATE, IT'S ABOUT GUITARS OR ABOUT MUSIC, MATE, TELLIN' YA, SHE CAN INVADE MY DARWIN ANYDAY, AMIRITE? OH SHI--! SO YEAH ANYWAY SHE WAS MEANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME AND CHECK OUT ALL ME COOL STUFF AT ME HOUSE, LIKE ME BED, AND MATE, ****ING 8PM THE NIGHT BEFORE, I AIN'T HEARD NOTHING, SO I GIVE THE LASS A BIT OF A PHONE CALL. I GET HER ON THE LINE AND ASK THE BIRD ABOUT TOMORROW AND SHE'S ALL "SORRY I GOT TO COVER BRAD'S SHIFT 🙁🙁🙁" AND SO I'M ****ING SPEWING BUT I KEEP COOL AND AM ALL "BIT OF ALRIGHT, SEE YOU AT WORK SOON.", SO AFTER THAT COCK BLOCK LATER SHE SENDS ME AN ABO SORRY IN AN SMS AND I'M ALL OKAY AND THEN THE NEXT ****ING DAY I SAY HI AND SHIT AND SHE'S ALL FLIRTING WITH ME, LIKE SHE WANTS ME DIDGERIDO AND MATE, THEN THAT'S WHEN SHE GOES ALL "MY BOYFRIEND AND I--" AND I'M LIKE "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" BUT THEN I'M REALLY ALL BLIMEY AND NOW I DUNT PAY ATTENTION BUT SHE STILL DOES THINGS WITH HER TONGUE AT ME FROM THE COUNTER. crackers

KRAM3R, MATE, I'M AT WORK RIGHT, AT THE OL' COCK SHOP, SORRY, MEANT CHICKEN STORE, ANYWAY THIS SHEILA COMES IN, BLONDE AS THE SAND AT BONDI, BIT OF A TIGHT TOP ON, CAN SEE ALL THE WAY DOWN HER ULURU IF YOU GET ME, ANYWAYS SHE'S ALL LIKE BENDING OVER ON THE COUNTER, LIKE 'HEY COME CHECK OUT MY SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE', YOU KNOW, 'DONT HAVE A SIX PACK BUT I'VE GOT A COUPLE OF CANS', BIT OF 'CRUISE DOWN THE GOLD COAST CHECKING OUT THE SCENERY', SO MOVING ON, WHILE SHE'S TRYING TO TAKE ME ON A TOUR OF TITTYTOWN, I'M TRYING TO KEEP MY EYES FROM DIVING OFF THE HIGHBOARD, ANYWAYS SHE EVENTUALLY DECIDES SHE WANTS SOME CHICKEN N CHIPS MATE, AND I'M LIKE A BIT OF YEAH, SURE, WHY NOT, HAVE SOME WARM, JUICY COCK FRESH OUT THE OVEN ETC. SO I'M LIKE WANT SOMETHING DOWN YOUR THROAT THAT'LL QUENCH YOUR THIRST, ETC, NOT IN THOSE WORDS BUT ALONG THOSE LINES, AND SHE'S LIKE, MATE I FEEL LIKE A BJ, A BJ SOUNDS GOOD TO GO WITH A NICE PIECE OF WARM COCK, SO I HOP OVER THE COUNTER QUICK AS AN ABO WITH A WELFARE CHEQUE, PULL DOWN ME PANTS AND SHOW HER A BIT OF MEAT PIE. TURNS OUT SHE WANTED BANANA JUICE AND I THINK I'M FIRED.

MATE, I'LL SAVE ME JB TALES FOR ANOTHER TIME, MATE, YOU SHOULD HERE ABOUT ME IN SURFER'S MATE. MATE, UP THERE, MATE, EVERYONE IS IN BLOODY SWIMMERS, MATE, HAD TO GET CARGOS ON TO HIDE ME BONER FROM ALL THE HOT SHEILAS WALKING PAST BUT MATE, I SWEAR, EVER SEE A ONE OF THEM BIG BONED LADIES IN NOTHING BUT A THONG BIKINI EATING A BUCKET OF KFC CHICKEN MATE, I SWEAR, ABOUT AS PRETTY AS HOWARD ON THE DUNNY WITH THE RUNS MATE.

MATE, I DON'T LIKE TO BRAG ABOUT SURFER'S PARADISE, BUT THE POOLS AT THE HOTELS HAVE SOME BLOODY POWERFUL JETS MATE. I REMEMBER BEING 14 AND MATE, ONE BLEW RIGHT PAST ME ON ME COCK ON MY SWIMMERS GIVING ME AN ERECTION AND SO I WAS ALL "THIS IS NICE" AND STAYED THERE FOR 10 THEN THOUGHT I BETTER MOVE ON IN CASE LIFE GUARD THOUGHT I WAS STUCK OR SOMETHING THEN I LET ME PENIS COOL DOWN AND THEN GOT OUT AND ME POP IS ALL "HAVE A GOOD SWIM" AND I'M ALL "**** OATH" haermm

MATE, SURFER'S PARADISE, KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN EH, NO WONDER THEY CALL IT SURFER'S PARADISE AND I'M NOT TALKING 'BOUT THE WAVES, KNOW WHAT I MEAN, BUT OF WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE, GET SOME OF THOSE STRAWBERRIES ON ME PAV, CATCH MY DRIFT, BIT OF SAUCE ON ME MEAT PIE THERE, BIT OF LEMON IN ME CORONA, MATE I'M ON THE GOLD COAST SOMEWHERE, **** IF I KNOW IT ALL LOOKS THE SAME, WALK PAST A CONDOM SHOP, THINKING 'OH YEAH, TIME FOR A RESTOCK', GET ME, WALK ABOUT 100M DOWN THE ROAD AND I GET TO ANOTHER ONE, I'M ALL LIKE, WHAT, DO THEY EXPECT ME TO HAVE RUN OUT BY NOW? GEEZ THOSE QUEENSLANDERS ARE HORNY BASTARDS, DONT EVEN HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO ROCK ME COCK OUT BEFORE THEY START TRYING TO PACK SOME GUNPOWDER INTO ME PISTOL, CATCH ME. ANYWAYS SOME ABO COMES UP TO ME ALL 'GOTTA DOLLA BRADAH, NEED A DOLLA FOR ME PHONE' AND I'M ALL 'NAH MATE, SPENT IT ALL ON SOME RUBBER DINGHIES IF YOU GET ME' AND HE'S ALL 'RUBBER DINGHIES? WHATCHU NEED RUBBER DINGHIES FOR, US ABOS GOT SOME OUTBACK PROTECTION, EVER WONDERED WHY THEY CALL IT RABBIT PROOF FENCE, CATCH ME DRIFT SON?' AND I'M LIKE 'MATE, BIT OF TOO FAR IN THE VISUAL RANGE, GOT ME SOME SHEILAS TO CATCH' SO NOW I'LL NEVER WATCH THE MOVIE THE SAME WAY AGAIN.

wow you guys are teh sex. do me please awehawe

LOOK, OBVIOUSLY OUR BRILLIANT MINDS ARE WASTED ON YOU ASS CLOWNS, WE'RE GOING TO TAKE THIS SHIT ON THE ROAD. ****ING ***** DON'T KNOW A GOOD GIGGLE WHEN YOU SEE ONE, WATCH SOME ****ING FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS, *****.

aweumm

GTFO, NOT WELCOME.

OUTBOUND DEMANDED I POST FFS! ALRIGHT! NOT LIKE I WANTED TO COME IN HERE! uhuh

Hoe fa sho

Originally posted by Piggle Humsy
wow you guys are teh sex. do me please awehawe

give me aussie kiss ;plz .

ugh

Don't do e

that is all

Originally posted by GCG
give me aussie kiss ;plz .

happy_confused

Originally posted by Kram3r
SO MICHAEL, CHICKS AT JB, MATE, SWEAR THE CHICKS, MATE, GOT THIS COUNTER GIRL RIGHT, HALF AUSSO, HALF JAP, MATE, EVERYTIME I TALK MATE, IT'S ABOUT GUITARS OR ABOUT MUSIC, MATE, TELLIN' YA, SHE CAN INVADE MY DARWIN ANYDAY, AMIRITE? OH SHI--! SO YEAH ANYWAY SHE WAS MEANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME AND CHECK OUT ALL ME COOL STUFF AT ME HOUSE, LIKE ME BED, AND MATE, ****ING 8PM THE NIGHT BEFORE, I AIN'T HEARD NOTHING, SO I GIVE THE LASS A BIT OF A PHONE CALL. I GET HER ON THE LINE AND ASK THE BIRD ABOUT TOMORROW AND SHE'S ALL "SORRY I GOT TO COVER BRAD'S SHIFT 🙁🙁🙁" AND SO I'M ****ING SPEWING BUT I KEEP COOL AND AM ALL "BIT OF ALRIGHT, SEE YOU AT WORK SOON.", SO AFTER THAT COCK BLOCK LATER SHE SENDS ME AN ABO SORRY IN AN SMS AND I'M ALL OKAY AND THEN THE NEXT ****ING DAY I SAY HI AND SHIT AND SHE'S ALL FLIRTING WITH ME, LIKE SHE WANTS ME DIDGERIDO AND MATE, THEN THAT'S WHEN SHE GOES ALL "MY BOYFRIEND AND I--" AND I'M LIKE "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" BUT THEN I'M REALLY ALL BLIMEY AND NOW I DUNT PAY ATTENTION BUT SHE STILL DOES THINGS WITH HER TONGUE AT ME FROM THE COUNTER. crackers

Whoa whoa whoa, shit. Settle down!!!

Only someone from Adelaide could attempt something like this:
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

And now a quote from an Aboriginal women to another in Redfern:
"Mother****er Cock Sucker!"

*out of place post

There's a pain in me galava.

Greatest thread ever.