Aussie Stories, Amirite?

Originally posted by Kram3r
SO MICHAEL, CHICKS AT JB, MATE, SWEAR THE CHICKS, MATE, GOT THIS COUNTER GIRL RIGHT, HALF AUSSO, HALF JAP, MATE, EVERYTIME I TALK MATE, IT'S ABOUT GUITARS OR ABOUT MUSIC, MATE, TELLIN' YA, SHE CAN INVADE MY DARWIN ANYDAY, AMIRITE? OH SHI--! SO YEAH ANYWAY SHE WAS MEANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME AND CHECK OUT ALL ME COOL STUFF AT ME HOUSE, LIKE ME BED, AND MATE, ****ING 8PM THE NIGHT BEFORE, I AIN'T HEARD NOTHING, SO I GIVE THE LASS A BIT OF A PHONE CALL. I GET HER ON THE LINE AND ASK THE BIRD ABOUT TOMORROW AND SHE'S ALL "SORRY I GOT TO COVER BRAD'S SHIFT 🙁🙁🙁" AND SO I'M ****ING SPEWING BUT I KEEP COOL AND AM ALL "BIT OF ALRIGHT, SEE YOU AT WORK SOON.", SO AFTER THAT COCK BLOCK LATER SHE SENDS ME AN ABO SORRY IN AN SMS AND I'M ALL OKAY AND THEN THE NEXT ****ING DAY I SAY HI AND SHIT AND SHE'S ALL FLIRTING WITH ME, LIKE SHE WANTS ME DIDGERIDO AND MATE, THEN THAT'S WHEN SHE GOES ALL "MY BOYFRIEND AND I--" AND I'M LIKE "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" BUT THEN I'M REALLY ALL BLIMEY AND NOW I DUNT PAY ATTENTION BUT SHE STILL DOES THINGS WITH HER TONGUE AT ME FROM THE COUNTER. crackers

Originally posted by MIŠT
MATE, SURFER'S PARADISE, KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN EH, NO WONDER THEY CALL IT SURFER'S PARADISE AND I'M NOT TALKING 'BOUT THE WAVES, KNOW WHAT I MEAN, BUT OF WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE, GET SOME OF THOSE STRAWBERRIES ON ME PAV, CATCH MY DRIFT, BIT OF SAUCE ON ME MEAT PIE THERE, BIT OF LEMON IN ME CORONA, MATE I'M ON THE GOLD COAST SOMEWHERE, **** IF I KNOW IT ALL LOOKS THE SAME, WALK PAST A CONDOM SHOP, THINKING 'OH YEAH, TIME FOR A RESTOCK', GET ME, WALK ABOUT 100M DOWN THE ROAD AND I GET TO ANOTHER ONE, I'M ALL LIKE, WHAT, DO THEY EXPECT ME TO HAVE RUN OUT BY NOW? GEEZ THOSE QUEENSLANDERS ARE HORNY BASTARDS, DONT EVEN HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO ROCK ME COCK OUT BEFORE THEY START TRYING TO PACK SOME GUNPOWDER INTO ME PISTOL, CATCH ME. ANYWAYS SOME ABO COMES UP TO ME ALL 'GOTTA DOLLA BRADAH, NEED A DOLLA FOR ME PHONE' AND I'M ALL 'NAH MATE, SPENT IT ALL ON SOME RUBBER DINGHIES IF YOU GET ME' AND HE'S ALL 'RUBBER DINGHIES? WHATCHU NEED RUBBER DINGHIES FOR, US ABOS GOT SOME OUTBACK PROTECTION, EVER WONDERED WHY THEY CALL IT RABBIT PROOF FENCE, CATCH ME DRIFT SON?' AND I'M LIKE 'MATE, BIT OF TOO FAR IN THE VISUAL RANGE, GOT ME SOME SHEILAS TO CATCH' SO NOW I'LL NEVER WATCH THE MOVIE THE SAME WAY AGAIN.

Originally posted by Because I can
....Didgeridoo * 😐

You try spelling it half asleep at 2AM. crackers

I wish I was an Australian so I could make super cool threads like this.

Yeah, sad thing is, you're not. Ha.

MATE, WENT TO SEE THE NEW 007 MOVIE TODAY RIGHT, GET THERE 15MINS AFTER THE SESSION TIME, WAITING TO BUY ME TICKET ETC, ANYWAY CHICK SERVING GIVES ME A TICKET FOR THE CURRENT SESSION, WHEN I WANTED THE NEXT ONE, SO I'M ALL FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU RUN IN, CINEMA IS BLACKER THAN AN ABO WITH SUN BURN, MATE, I'M ALL CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT, PREVIEWS ARE STILL PLAYING THOUGH SO IT'S ALL GOOD, FINALLY FOUND AN EMPTY SEAT, NEAR THE FRONT MIND YOU, SIT DOWN AND BAM INTRO STARTS PLAYING, SO ANYWAY THIS CHICK IN FRONT OF ME KEEPS TALKING AND LAUGHING PRETTY MUCH FOR ABOUT AN HOUR, I LIFT MY FOOT UP TO KICK HER IN THE HEAD RIGHT, BUT JUST AS I DO HER AND HER MATES ALL GET UP AND LEAVE ANYWAY, AND I'M ALL 'YEAH, THANKS FOR RUINING IT BY TALKING YOU ****ING *****', SO YEAH, I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS GO SEE 007 CAUSE IT'S ABOUT AS ALRIGHT AS A FREE PAV AFTER A SUNDAY ROAST.

😆

I ****ing love you Aussie bastards.

Originally posted by Kram3r
You try spelling it half asleep at 2AM. crackers

KRAM3R MATE, ****, LIKE I WAS SAYING, TONIGHT AT WORK, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU SWEAR TO GOD, THOUGHT I WAS ONE OF THOSE SUICIDE BOMBERS GONE TO HEAVEN AND PRESENTED WITH 70 VIRGINS AMIRITE, CAUSE SHIIII THOSE BIRDS TODAY, SO FINE, ALL LIKE DRESSED FOR THE SUNSHINE, OH SHI THIS ONE CHICK, BENT OVER ON THE COUNTER, MATE, WASNT WEARING A BRA AMIRITE, IS THIS WIN Y/N, THIS OTHER CHICK, BIT OF A CHUBBY YOU GET ME, BUT STILL, SHIRT WAS POPPING OPEN LIKE AN ABO POPS OPEN A CAN OF PETROL AMIRITE, OOOOOOOOH SHI, KK TELL US A BIT OF THEM JB CHICKS AMIRITE???

MATE, **** ME, JB CHICKS OR CUSTOMERS, MATE, LIKE AN ABO PICKING UNLEADED OR LEADED PETROL, IT DON'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE THE BUGGER IS GOING TO GET HIGH EITHER WAY. MATE, THIS GERMAN BIRD COMES IN ALL NICE TITTIES AND ALL, MATE, HAD EYES CLEARER THAN THE WATERS OF PARRA RIVER MATE AND SHE'S ALL "CAN HELP WITH DVD" AND I'M ALL THINKIN' "CAN HELP WITH A ****? AMIRITE" THEN I WAS ALL "WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF?" SO ANYWAY I GET HER TO CHOOSE DOWNFALL, YOU KNOW, ABOUT HER COUNTRY AND SHIT AND SHE'S ALL "PLAY IN MY DVD PLAYER, YEAH?" AND I'M ALL "I WANT TO PLAY IN YOUR DVD PLAYER, AMIRITE?" TO WHICH I ACTUALLY REPLIED "NAH MATE NAH, NEED A REGION 4" AND SHE'S ALL "ON MY COMPUTER?" AND I'M LIKE "I WANT SOME OF YOU ON MY COMPUTER IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, AMIRITE? OH SHIT" BUT REALLY I SAID "SHOULD BE FINE" ANYWAY HER NAME WAS MELANIE BECAUSE SHE HAD A NECKLACE WITH IT ON IT AROUND HER NICE CLEVAGE. MATE, I THINK I WANT TO GO TO GERMANY. biscuits

OH THAT REMINDS ME, WENT TO JB ON FRIDAY MATE, SERIOUS, WHAT THE **** IS UP WITH THE CHICKS AT JB, THEY ARE ALL SMOKING HOT, LIKE CHICKS IN THE CITY, HOT, CHICKS AT THE OTHER MALL, HOT, I MEAN FUUUUUUUUUU GET ME A JOB AT JB AMIRITE, GET A BIT OF OOH OOH OOOOOOOOOH IF YOU GET ME, A BIT OF VEGEMITE ON ME TOAST, A BIT OF JOEY IN THE POUCH, A BIT OF 'ILL BE THE DINGO AND YOU BE THE BABY' IF YOU GET ME, I MEAN SHIT, 'DISCOUNT ON BLU RAY' AMIRITE, PICK UP LINE OR WHAT, SHIT.

MATE, KRAM3R, MATE, SO WENT TO THE MOVIES RIGHT, BIT OF CHEAP TUESDAY, CANT COMPLAIN RIGHT, SO I WENT TO SEE BIG STAN RIGHT (ROB SCHNEIDER, SAYS IT ALL AMIRITE?), SO LIKE MOVIE IS SUPPOSED TO START AT 9 RIGHT, GET THERE BOUT 10MINS EARLY, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS WITH THE ADS AND TRAILERS AND SHIT RIGHT, WALK IN, SIT DOWN, THERES SOME DUMBASS DANCING SHIT WITH LIKE, SAMBA MUSIC OR SOMETHING ON, IM WATCHING FOR LIKE 3MINS AND IM THINKING 'MATE, BIT OF A LONG AD?' THEN I REALISE I WALKED INTO THE MOVIE 10MINS BEFORE IT FINISHED, SAW THE ENDING AND ALL, BIT OF PISSED AMIRITE, I MEAN SRS, MOST THE TIME YOU GET IN THERE 10MINS EARLY AND YOU STILL GOT ADS ABOUT ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION AND MEXICAN FOOD PLAYING, BUT NO, ADS DIDNT START TIL LIKE 15MINS AFTER THE TIME ON THE TICKET, IM LIKE WTF MATE, ITS BAD ENOUGH WATCHING A ROB SCHNEIDER MOVIE, WORSE SEEING THE END BEFORE THE REST, BUT WAITING 15MINS BEFORE A TRAILER FOR BRIDE WARS STARTS UP AFTER THE TIME ON THE TICKET, MATE, WAS NOT TOO HAPPY. PS DONT EVEN KNOW IF IM SPELLING ROB SCHNEIDER PROPERLY HAERMM.

MATE YOU THINK THAT'S BAD. MATE I WENT INTO CHINA FOLKS GOT SOME PIRATE DVDS AND THE BLOKE WAS ALL "OH YOU FROM AUSTRALIA. I LIKE EVERY MUCH DIGGER" AND I WAS ALL "MATE DID YOU CALL ME A ******?" AND HE'S LIKE "YES, DIGGER" AND I'M LIKE "I'M NOT BLACK AND AMERICAN" AND ME FOLKS ARE ALL "NO HE'S SAYING DIGGER AS IN ANZAC" AND I'M "WTF, HOW THE **** A CHINAMEN KNOW ABOUT ANZAC" THEN THE **** GOES ON ABOUT MELBOURNE AND THAT SHOW UNDERBELLY AND I'M ALL "**** MELBOURNE MATE, SYDNEY IS WHERE THE REAL SHIT HAPPENS, MATE, **** YOUR ****ING HEAD OFF" WAS A BIT SCARED OF SYDNEY NOW. MATE THE GUY WAS ALL "HI MATE, MATE MATE MATE" I'M ALL "MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE" AND GOT DVDS GOT LIKE $1. biscuits

MATE, WHERES MY CHEAP BLU RAY? crackers

Yous skips have no idea, I swear to god, ulle!

aww rough as guts we are.

Originally posted by MIŠT
MATE, KRAM3R, MATE, SO WENT TO THE MOVIES RIGHT, BIT OF CHEAP TUESDAY, CANT COMPLAIN RIGHT, SO I WENT TO SEE BIG STAN RIGHT (ROB SCHNEIDER, SAYS IT ALL AMIRITE?), SO LIKE MOVIE IS SUPPOSED TO START AT 9 RIGHT, GET THERE BOUT 10MINS EARLY, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS WITH THE ADS AND TRAILERS AND SHIT RIGHT, WALK IN, SIT DOWN, THERES SOME DUMBASS DANCING SHIT WITH LIKE, SAMBA MUSIC OR SOMETHING ON, IM WATCHING FOR LIKE 3MINS AND IM THINKING 'MATE, BIT OF A LONG AD?' THEN I REALISE I WALKED INTO THE MOVIE 10MINS BEFORE IT FINISHED, SAW THE ENDING AND ALL, BIT OF PISSED AMIRITE, I MEAN SRS, MOST THE TIME YOU GET IN THERE 10MINS EARLY AND YOU STILL GOT ADS ABOUT ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION AND MEXICAN FOOD PLAYING, BUT NO, ADS DIDNT START TIL LIKE 15MINS AFTER THE TIME ON THE TICKET, IM LIKE WTF MATE, ITS BAD ENOUGH WATCHING A ROB SCHNEIDER MOVIE, WORSE SEEING THE END BEFORE THE REST, BUT WAITING 15MINS BEFORE A TRAILER FOR BRIDE WARS STARTS UP AFTER THE TIME ON THE TICKET, MATE, WAS NOT TOO HAPPY. PS DONT EVEN KNOW IF IM SPELLING ROB SCHNEIDER PROPERLY HAERMM.

MATE, KRAMER, MATE, SWEAR TO GOD RIGHT, COME DOWN TO ADELAIDE, I SHOW YOU GOOD TIME, KNOW WHERE ALL THE LESBIANS HANG OUT NOW AMIRITE, SRS BRO, TONIGHT, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS, IM HITTING UP TOWN LIKE A MOFO RIGHT, LESBIANS EVERY****INWHERE, IM ALL HANGING AT THE BAR AND SHIT RIGHT, TURN ROUND, HOLY LESBIAN SEX BATMAN, THESE TWO SHEILAS GOING AT EACH OTHERS TONGUES LIKE TWO ABOS FIGHTING OVER A WELFARE CHEQUE AMIRITE, MATE, NEXT TIME IM TAKIN' ME CAMERA RIGHT, TAKE SOME LESBO ACTION ON FILM AMIRITE, SEND UP TO SYDNEY, OH SHI-, SRS GET SOME THAT ADELAIDE PLANE TICKET, BRING YOUR SISTER TOO SEE IF SHE UP FOR SOME ADELAIDE LOVIN', MATE, SHIT, SHAME THOSE CHICKS DON'T WANT SOME OF ME DIDGERIDOO ACTION AMIRITE, GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO BLOW ON OOOOH SHI-, **** ME IM ****ED AS BRO, BUT SRS COME TO ADELAIDE. ermmnone

wait what i dont rememebr this awepedo