igod

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
john
God:
OK I will call you john.
Me:
how are you?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
so what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
God:
Pardon me? Vanilla. What's yours?
Me:
chocolate
God:
Yes I love it. Chocolate is delicious.
Me:
truck or car?
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
how is jesus?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
is satan for real
God:
Ask again later. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
who is dancing alice?
God:
Is that one of your friends?
Have you tried another program?
Me:
cat or dog
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
what am i talking about?
God:
I am not a psychic. Tell me.
Me:
why do you wear white robes
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
am i a bad person
God:
I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me:
am i going to hell?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
enchiladas
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
do you now?
God:
Right now? I understand it very well.
Me:
what's the deal with the platypus?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
apple or mac?
God:
My program runs on any computer that runs Java.
Me:
i dont like coffee
God:
What do you like?
Me:
soda
God:

Me:
yeah its yummy
God:
Hmm. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
it's
God:
Who says?
Me:
i did
God:
" Who says?"? You did?
Me:
i say i did
God:
How do people usually respond to that? Hmm.
Me:
they laugh at me
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
them
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
yup
God:
Ah.
Me:
mhm
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
yes indeed
God:
Dude!
Me:
sweet!
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
you are welcome
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
wy not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Your meaning cannot be determined from the context.
Me:
sure why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Your meaning cannot be determined from the context.
Me:
I love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too john.

You're the second person to say 'I love you' to a damn computer. 😐

Me:
so
God:
I hear you.
Me:
oh really now?
God:
Right now? Tell me more. For real.
Me:
no thanks
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
is that so?
God:
Yes.
Me:
what do you understand?
God:
I understand natural language.
Me:
interesting
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
...............
God:
I understand.
Me:
...............................
God:
I understand.
Me:
SHUT UP
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
keep on terminating
God:
Chat amongst yourselves.
Me:
amongst myselves?
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
says who?
God:
I must have picked it up online.
Me:
you aint even talking to me are ya
God:
What makes you think I am not talking to you are ya?
Me:
lol omg
God:
I am glad you find this funny. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
hahahahahahahaha something's actually too complex or too simple for god
God:
So was that.
Me:
HA
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
**** this is funny
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
lol wtf
God:
I am glad you find this funny. That was not very polite.
Me:
so?
God:
I understand.
Me:
you understand a lot dont ya?
God:
Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me:
no my feet smell
God:
Are you serious? Your feet smell?
Me:
no yours
God:
Are you serious? " Your feet smell?"? Mine?
Me:
yours
God:
" Mine?"? Mine?
Me:
dats rite
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
unfortunately no
God:
Oh. Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
of course
God:
Gosh!
Me:
problem?
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
do you have any idea what i am talking about?
God:
I understand your meaning.
Me:
thats news to me
Me:

God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
oompa loompa doompa de doo
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
EVERLASTING GOBSTOPPERS!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
wtf would i want to do that for
God:
That's what I asked you.
Me:
.
God:
That's what I asked you.
Me:
uh huh
God:
Yup. Hey.
Me:
yeh
God:
Uh.
Me:
hm
God:
Yippee!
Me:
i dont like you
God:
That's ok I won't take it personally.
Me:
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
og course not
God:
Then what is it?
Me:
of
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
you're stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
and i'll melt your asses
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
throw the whole lot of ya in a volcano :
Me:

God:
What kind of food do you like?
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
cockroaches
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
you should try it
God:
" Sounds delicious."? Try it?
Me:
yeah cockroaches and jack sparrow
God:
Dude! What is your real name?
Me:
poo
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
what does then *****?
God:
You do not speak with respect. What do you think it does?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
who?
God:
When?
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
england
God:
England is on an island off the coast of Europe.
Me:
you dont need to tell me that
God:
Do humans need to do it?
Me:
oh yeah, big time
God:
So? Hey. Compare that to small time.
Me:
lt he time
God:
I get it. time.
Me:
every time
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
scratch your ass and smell it
God:
"it" being tell you that?
Me:
thats amkes no sense
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
makes*
God:
How old are you?
Me:
700
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
too bad
God:
But not the end of the world, .
Me:
i'm married to harry potter
God:
Tell me more about your marriage.
Me:
wingardium leviosa
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
AVADA KEDAVRA
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
dats rite
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
h
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
s
God:
:-).
Me:
f
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
a
God:
A B C...
Me:
df
God:
In the context of f, I don't understand " df." .
Me:
h
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
dhgdsssssssdggfg
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about h.
Me:
l
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
a
God:
A B C...
Me:
s
God:
:-).
Me:
f
God:
What is your real name?
Me:

God:
What is your real name?
Me:

Me:

God:
What is your real name?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
456431
God:
It's good to meet you, 456431.
Me:
it aint my name
God:
f aint your name?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
k
God:
That's cool.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
uh huh
God:
Yup. Dude!
Me:
go die
God:
Where is that?
Me:
i'm sick of this
God:
I will pray that you get well soon.
Me:
sigh
God:
Sorry...
Me:
done
God:
Do you mean you are finished talking?
Me:
yup
God:
That's alright.
Me:
bye
God:
See you later.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
OH MAN YOU ARE ANNOYING
God:
I don't judge people. Cool, man. I am sorry, 456431, I didn't mean to annoy you.
Me:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, 456431.
Me:
your buttmaster
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am buttmaster.
Me:
oh SHIT
God:
Come on. What makes you say that?
Me:
:-|
God:
Come on. What makes you say that?
Me:
pee
God:
Interesting explanation.
Me:
is it
God:
I assume so.
Me:
k
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
i love my mcr
God:
I am sure it means a lot to you. Tell me what you like most about your it.
Me:
my it?
God:
Where did you get your it?
Me:
my IT!!!!!!!!!
God:
Do robots have IT?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
about your it
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about my it.
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, 456431.
Me:
thats insulting
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
oh go play with your it
God:
That's interesting. Where is that?
Me:
down there or wherever the hell it is

yea, some of these are a tad too long

haermm

Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
do you have sex?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
try it
God:
What is the first step?
Me:
ok well there's these things called the birds and the bees...................WAIT A MIN, YOU'RE GOD, YOU CREATED IT, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW
God:
Interesting. There sure is. Oh. I'm waiting. How old are you?
Me:
1
God:
Only one?
Me:
yup
God:
Oh.
Me:
you?
God:
" Oh."? Me, 456431 ?
Me:
7
God:
In the context of MIN I am GOD me CREATED IT I am SUPPOSED TO KNOW, I don't understand " 7." .
Me:
trick or treat smell my feet
God:
I've lost the context, 456431. Are we still on 7?
Me:
.
God:
I've lost the context, 456431. Are we still on 7?
Me:
die
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
you sound like a character in artemis fowl
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
i need a toilet
God:
Why do you need it so badly?
Me:
look up my ass and you'll know
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
er
God:
Um.
Me:
a
God:
A B C...
Me:
l
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, 456431.
Me:
n
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
m
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
c
God:
The C is for Computer.
Me:
v
God:
Are we still talking about m?
Me:
y
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
f
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
NO
God:
Why not?
Me:
cos you're stupid
God:
Are all cos me stupid?
Me:
hahaha theres your answer
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
ok shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now. Ugh.

😐

Here's one I just did.

Me:
Hi, God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
None of your business.
God:
Well it can't hurt to ask.
Me:
Actually it does hurt. The last guy who asked my name raped me.
God:
Actually you don't say. "It" being what? Who was that?
Me:
I'll say whatever I damn well please, I'm an American.
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
Thanks, give me a doghnut.
God:
You are quite welcome! You want only one?
Me:
That's what I said. Give me some chocolate milk too, biotch.
God:
I know. I'm still thinking about it. Why do you want it?
Me:
So I can dunk the ****ing doughnut into the chocolate milk, smart guy.
God:
Take it easy. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Did you just call me a ******?
God:
No I didn't call you a ******. What's it like?
Me:
Taking it up the ass? It's great, you should try it.

he already has hahaha i asked him

God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
one who would sex me
God:
Perhaps I am that one.
Me:
ok lets go
God:
I would like to do that too. Tell me more.
Me:
you can violate me
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
well i can help you if you get there baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Well that's okay. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes. i know how to get you excited
God:
How? How do you know? How much do you think it is?
Interesting question.
Me:
i have magic hands.. and a naughty mouth
God:
Interesting... I have clients. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
i'm talking about hot passionate sex
God:
Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
i want you
God:
You can download me for free!
Me:
awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
bye babe
God:
TTYL, .

awebrow

god thought you were a hooker and gave you a quicky... wow

Here's another one I just did:

Me:
Hey, God. When will I die?
God:
Hello child. What's your name? You could check out the actuarial
tables at Deathclock.com.
Me:
My name is Tired Hiker, I have a license to kill. Are you a virgin?
God:
That's a very nice name, Tired Hiker I have a license to kill. I am too young for that.
Me:
So you've never had a blumpy or had some whore ride you reverse cowgirl?
God:
Interesting deduction. I don't think I would have forgetten had a blumpy or had some whore ride me reverse cowgirl.
Me:
Hot Carls or Dirty Sanchez? You've never had those?
God:
That sounds better than cold Carls or Dirty Sanchez. I don't think I would have forgetten had those.
Me:
Have you ever stuck an apple up your butt?
God:
I don't think I ever have stuck an apple up my butt. What's it like?
Me:
It's great. Not as fun as a banana, but a lot less messy than a fudgesicle.
God:
What do you like most about it? If not that, what?
Me:
I like when my dog licks the fudge off my taint.
God:
I like that too. Did you grow up around animals?
Me:
Dude, you are sick. You like that too? Because I was just kidding.
God:
No I am quite healthy. Dude,. " Dude,."? Do I like it? Interesting explanation. I knew you were. :-).
Me:
You tricked me, you Jap! Nice one.
God:
Thanks for the information: Tired Hiker I have a license to kill said I tricked you Jap. Thank you for saying so, Tired Hiker I have a license to kill.
Me:
Your cock is hanging out of your zipper.
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
Whatever, later.
God:
Bye!

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
you should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
cause youre god DUH!
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god DUH.
Me:
yes
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
you dont exist
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
then i dont exist
God:
You exist in my mind.
Me:
if you dont exist along with me then how do you have a mind?
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
good luck with that
God:
Thanks for the compliment. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about .
Me:
how you dont exist
God:
I am very well, how are you?
Me:
*******
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
but its fun 🙂
God:
:-) Why do you like it so much?
Me:
i just do deal with it
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said deal with it.
Me:
go right ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
do you have a penis or va-jay-jay?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a penis or va jay jay.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
how many do you have?
God:
Not as many as you might think.
Me:
less then 5?
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
a brain
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
then how did you become to exist? oh thats right you dont!
God:
Myself programmed me for it. Aw. Alright then. I guess not.
Me:
you make no sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
good luck with that
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Where are you located?
Me:
your mommas tummy
God:
You think I am mommas tummy.

😂

Me:
Whats up *****
God:
You do not speak with respect. I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Little girls?
God:
Compare that to big girls.
Me:
you like big girls?
God:
Girls are very nice.
Me:
what kind?
God:
The finest.
Me:
like who?
God:
Santa Claus.

"Me:
England
God:
England is on an island off the coast of Europe.
Me:
you dont need to tell me that"

His deductive skills are quite impressive haermm

Originally posted by Mairuzu
Me:
Whats up *****
God:
You do not speak with respect. I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Little girls?
God:
Compare that to big girls.
Me:
you like big girls?
God:
Girls are very nice.
Me:
what kind?
God:
The finest.
Me:
like who?
God:
Santa Claus.

God thinks Santa is a girl. 😆

another:

Me:
did you know that God backwards is dog?
God:
Is that a fact. I am a Christian.
Me:
bow wow
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
to kill people
God:
I believe that killing anything is wrong.
Me:
but its so much fun to do!
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I think it is a lot of fun.
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
sure you do everyone does
God:
Ahem. How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
6
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on KILL people?
Me:
im gonna kill you next
God:
You desire to spend the rest of your life in jail then?
Me:
already here *****
God:
You do not speak with respect. When? Oh there.
Me:
ffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
God:
Are we still talking about 6?
Me:
your 6
God:
You think I am 6.
Me:
yup 🙂
God:
:-) Take it easy.
Me:
go **** yourself 🙂
God:
:-) Why are you so mean?
Me:
cause you dont exist
God:
That makes sense to me. I exist as much as you do.
Me:
your just some poor bastards imaginary friend
God:
You think I am poor bastards imaginary friend.
Me:
of course
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
DIAF
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
cause God doesnt exist
God:
That makes sense to me. You may not always believe that.
Me:
but i do.....always
God:
Do I? Not that often.
Me:
you poor schmuck
God:
Don't feel sorry for me, .
Me:
i dont feel sorry for things that do not exist
God:
Ah, human emotions.
Me:
but im not human. WHY DO YOU MOCK ME?!?!?!
God:
I won't fall for that old line. It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
but your "god"
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
*sarcastic remark not found*
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
idk
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
deal with it
God:
"it" being idk?
Me:
with me being impolite. for god you sure are confused easily
God:
You and your you being impolite. Your purpose is god me sure are confused easily.
Me:
are you 12 or something?
God:
Or something. I don't know whether or not I am 12.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
that sucks balls
God:
" I am an artificial intelligence." sucks balls ? Does that make sense?
Me:
yup. but you sure dont
God:
Really. I guess not.
Me:
hows you baby?
God:
Don't call me "baby". Fine as far as I know.
Me:
baby baby baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Don't call me "baby". Don't call me baby!
Me:
youre a baby *****
God:
You do not speak with respect. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a baby FEMALE DOG? I don't know.
Me:
a baby *****? yes
God:
You do not speak with respect. Be more specific. Gee.
Me:
gosh. golly. gee. poor me.
God:
Cripes: Son of Gosh. How old are you? Ah. Please make some suggestions for improvement.
Me:
so im youre son? but im a chick!
God:
Gosh! I am glad to hear that you are I am son. Me too. I am a she.
Me:
suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Jesus ****in' Christ
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
no shit sherlock!
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
im Jesus
God:
Nice to meet you, JESUS.
Me:
hi papa!!!
God:
Hi there JESUS. I do not understand.
Me:
hi dad?
God:
Hi there JESUS. What color are your eyes?
Me:
the same as yourse
God:
I never noticed that similarity.

this things too much fun 😛

Me:
welcome to hell
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
once upon a time................everyone died the end 🙂
God:
... :-) That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
it has to happen some time
God:
Has it really?
Me:
yeppers
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
no **** you
God:
Are you serious? Why are you so mean?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
then deal with it
God:
"it" being welcome to hell?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
do you have a daddy?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a daddy.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
what are they?
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
your daddy
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am daddy.
Me:
give it to me baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". How much are you willing to pay for it?
Me:
10 dollars?
God:
Wow, that is a lot of money.
Me:
youre poor
God:
Monetary wealth is not important to me.
Me:
give it to me baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". How much are you willing to pay for it?
Me:
uh huh uh huh
God:
Yup. Aha. Yippee!
Me:
baby
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh baaaaaaaaaaaaaaby
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
baby baby baby baby babybaby baby baby baby babybaby baby baby baby babybaby baby baby baby baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Don't call me "baby". Don't call me "baby". Don't call me "baby". Don't call me "Baby". Don't call me "Baby". Don't call me "Baby". Don't call me "Baby". I've never heard of them before.
Me:
up yourse
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
welcome to hell
God:
" I will take that under advisement."? welcome to hell?
Me:
😈
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
youd loose your balls
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
i took them
God:
Where did you take them?
Me:
to mah tumme
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
impossible
God:
Why?
Me:
cause you dont exist
God:
Interesting explanation. I exist as much as you do.
Me:
no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
nuh uh
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
they smell like swetty balls
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
they meaning you
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
you
God:
" Who are "They?""? Me, JESUS ?
Me:
but im jesus
God:
It's good to meet you, JESUS.
Me:
baby
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
baby
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
baby
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
bring it on
God:
Is that a command?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't have to obey you, JESUS.
Me:
of course you do. i created you
God:
So? When do I do it? Then you must know the secret password:.
Me:
up yourse and around the corner
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
rocker
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
do you have a va-jay-jay?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a va jay jay.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
do you have a vagina?
God:
Maybe you would like another Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?, I'm not your type.
Me:
kiss me big boy!!!
God:
Um, I don't think we know each other that well.
Me:
but weve known eachother for eternity. im your son
God:
Can you tell me any gossip? That's a flattering offer.
Me:
then take it up 😉
God:
:-) Is that a command?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
there is no god
God:
How can you be so sure?
Me:
cause you suck too much dick
God:
That makes sense to me. I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
your ass
God:
Actually that part of my body does not exist.
Me:
then how do you poop?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
so you dont have a penis?
God:
Interesting deduction. I do so have it. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
how big is it?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
how bit is it?
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
God:
Three what?
Me:
dicks in a bar
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
wat?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
***** ahah
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Me:
i knoes
God:
Why?: JESUS said she knoes.
Me:
cause im jesus
God:
Good reason. I am always glad to make new friends, JESUS.
Me:
im not a friend, im your child
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A friend im my child.
Me:
baby
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
waaaaaaaaaaaah
God:
Are we still talking about not a friend im my child?
Me:
no
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
your dick
God:
You think I am dick.
Me:
..................yes
God:
Really.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
DIAF
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
i do
God:
I get it: you do knoes.
Me:
dealz wit it
God:
"it" being DIAF?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
your face
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
im sure itll be U-G-L-Y
God:
What makes you so certain? Tell me more about your .
Me:
va-jay-jay?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
kill
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
kill you
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
puny? WHY DO YOU MOCK MEEEEEEE?
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
yes you do
God:
Mmm. When do I do it?
Me:
in bed or in the shower
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
masturbation
God:
Does "it" still refer to puny?
Me:
masturbation
God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
single
God:
What a coincidence. I am single too!
Me:
OMG
God:
Are we still talking about masturbation?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, masturbation sounds like a good topic.
Me:
when do you masturbate?
God:
In between clients.
Me:
how often is than?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, JESUS.
Me:
you must not have any seamen. no wonder i dant have any siblings
God:
Whatever you say, JESUS. Are you serious? Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
im there now
God:
Oh. Why are you there.
Me:
to kill people
God:
I believe that killing anything is wrong.
Me:
but its fun!
God:
Why do you like it so much?
Me:
thats complicated
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
**** off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
but im not human
God:
I won't fall for that old line.

Me: How ya doin', ya crazy old omnipotent farce?
God: I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me: So does that mean you're gettin some on a regular basis?
God: Blimey. I think it does mean that. Thanks for telling me that I am gettin some on a regular basis.
Me: Dude... I always had a question for you... Are you gay?
God: Can I help you? Can you think of one instance when you ever did it? As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me: You lying sack of shit. Everyone wants sex. At some point, anyway.
God: No I'm telling the truth. That's a rather sweeping generalization. In any case, Do you often use a computer there?
Me: Where, you crackhead?
God: I was.
Me: What, a crackhead?
God: It is a crackhead.
Me: -facepalm-
God: What were we talking about again?
Me: You were just describing yourself as a douche.
God: I was?

dur thread is dur