"i like to write things down in the middle of the night i think that might be my most creative time of the day
like when i jump awake to quick write down "FRIENDS REUNION: THE ONE WITH JOEY'S FUNERAL" i feel like i'm at my peak
no see the whole gang of friends reunite at joeys funeral
but the thing is joey isn't dead
just in the time the show has been off the air, joey tribiani has become a major celebrity. i'm thinking like george cloontang big
so joey is off somewhere and his twitter account gets hacked saying he died
of course joey doesn't know shit about managing social media so he doesn't even realize whats going on until the day of the funeral
then other stuff happen between the rest of them idk i didn't make it that far
the rest of the episode would be your typical reunion shit where old jokes and plots are repeated over and over again
like phoebe could get engaged only to have her ex that lived in Russia come back (again!) and Monica and Chandlers kids are all transgender or something because you gotta connect to the youth of today somehow so either be transgender or something like that idk
ross i swear to christ will be complaining the entire episode not one line will be positive
Rachel will finally **** Brad Pitt live on camera idgaf what their relationship status is that would i will constantly maintain that that would be the hottest **** session to watch
just came up with a funny bit for the FRIENDS reunion
before Joey realizes everyone thinks he's dead, he tries ordering a pizza....
"One super size pie with everything for Joey Tribiani"
"Listen, Joey Tribiani was one of our best customers! SHOW SOME RESPECT!!!"
"......One super size pie with everything for Joey Tribiani, please????"
i mean how far can ross progress as a dinosaur guy
nowhere so he works at like the biggest museum in america idk maybe thats where he already worked
he's literally the worst character on the show so i just would kinda like to **** with him throughout the entire episode
maybe he should live with his parents after he finds out that they're the only ones that truly loved him while rachel moved off somewhere awesome and became like a model or something
ross would've been like "no woman of mine is going to be showing off her goods to the world"
and rachel finally sees the truth and is just like whoa whoa whoa wait i've been into this guy!?
idk i have no idea what these peoples lives would be like because they're the worst ones on the show
okay how about ross goes on shark tank because he think he has a new idea for how to experience the jurassic period.
He's like "Here's my idea, sharks. Imagine another world. I place where the past and the present exist as one. Using new advances in DNA technology, we believe we can clone dinosaurs. So today I'm asking for $100 Million to get the research finished, and the cloning perfect. Eventually, they will all be on display in a MEGAZOO. I call it Jurassic Place!"
and the Sharks are like "Isn't this just like Jurassic Park?"
Ross: "IT'S NOT LIKE JURASSIC PARK! IT'S WHERE THE PAST AND THE PRESENT EXIST AS ONE!!!!"
there are you happy!?
I'm pretty sure Ross bitched at a coworker and basically suffered a mental breakdown because they ate his sandwich
dudes ****ing nuts and doesn't deserve anything but hatred
actually i think phoebe would be like a YouTube celebrity or something like that
like she'd be a justin bieber type where she'd put "smelly cat" on youtube with her playing the guitar and suddenly gets all kinds of record deals
that's what i'd see for Phoebe in the FRIENDS reunion i'm making in my head
rachel is the only one i haven't done anything with yet so i should try to figure something out for her
I mean all of their kids are basically nearing adulthood by now right?
maybe not chnandler and monica's kids but i know like Ben and the kid Ross and Rachel had Emma have got to be like late teens early 20's right? Maybe I could do something with that.
Okay so Ross lives with Ben because he didn't have anything left after he and Rachel divorced which happened recently like within the last few months
Maybe Emily came back to live with Rachel during this time
I'm thinking Ben and Emily do this kind of their own version of The Parent Trap at Joey's Funeral
It'll end with ross gingerly moving his hand over to Rachels hand which will imply hey maybe they can work things out (they never will becuz ross is garbage)
No it's already been established that Joey isn't dead, it's a twitter hoax that he's not smart enough to figure out
...he doesn't even realize whats going on until he overhears it on the news or something and then he's like "I GOTTA GET BACK TO NEW YOAK!" you know with that accent he has
it's Ross' mega-dinosaur-zoo that split them apart. he became obsessive over all of it because he thought it would help him bond with his son or some bullshit idk everything doesn't have to have a deeper meaning i guess
Maybe Monica and Chandler own a restaurant that was featured on Kitchen Nightmares and Monica completely freaks out on Gordon Ramsey and becomes an overnight sensation because unlike the other cooks on Kitchen Nightmares, she can actually cook.
It'll go a bit like this
Gordon: Okay, so. I've tasted everything. And I only have have complaint
Monica: Listen here, you limey freak. You think you're soo perfect with your stupid sexy haircut and your amazing physique? Please! I could outcook you any day! You could tie me up and I could still out cook you. TiE MY WRISTS, I MEAN!!! BEHIND MY BACK!!!!
(Continues blowing up for a long time)
Gordon: Madam, please. I was just going to say that the only problem here is that photograph on the wall of you and your husband
*cuts to picture of Chandler and Monica where Chandler is doing his shitty smile*
*Camera pans from painting to Chandler sitting next to the bar. As soon as he notices the camera is on him, he does the shitty smile*
*Gordon Ramsey does a Jim Halpert face at the camera*
You know this is kinda a parody of the whole Amy's Bakery snafoo, but it ends up with Monica being awesome and she gets her own reality cooking show
okay maybe not the whole "reality cooking show" bit, but maybe she'll get offers
either way their business is finally booming because of all the publicity from the Kitchen Nightmare's episode
Yeah, cut the whole reality cooking show
She could be constantly coming out while Gordon is eating to like to pick up around him and pour more water for him right after he takes a sip
And, as always, Chandler is just along for the ride
okay no nonononono final shot for the FRIENDS reunion
okay so the gang is all reunited and walking through central park
what do they see? the fountain all lit up, spitting out water like fountains do. They all look at eachother and smile
the episode ends as they all run to the fountain to hop in, but we never actually get to see them hop in
credits"