new deal with my gf

well as you all know, i thought we were broken up and stuff, and i thought tha ti would be able to be just friends with her, sadly, i was wrong, i still love her and when i talk to her and see her i still feel those feelings, and she says she still does too, and she still loves me too, but she also wants to be with this other guy and have sex with him and stuff, which i dont think i could handle. so i told her today that if she has sex with him, she looses me completely and i will not talk to her anymore because she will have hurt me to much and i wont be able to see her without feeling sick and sad. and she was trying to make it seem like im doing something wrong with this, like she expects me to let her go screw whoever she wants without any consequences. im just wondering if you guys think i did the right thing or not by giving her this choice. i dont think what im doing is wrong, why should she get to just do whatever she wants, i think im giving her a very easy practical and fair choice. sex with him, or having me in her life somehow. what do you guys think?

something like that...nah, it's not wrong! i still can't picture her asking you this stuff
"oh, pleaze...pleaze...just that guy over there! he's the last one. And then we'll go to your mom's house for dinner"
i can't quite picture this

you do what you feel is best for YOU BF

i honestly dont care either way, she can stay with me and be faithful, or she can screw that guy and lose me. its up to her now. ill be fine either way.

So long as you made your view clear.

very clear.

are you THAT certain?

I think that's the best thing you could have told her... She can't have it both ways and just expect you to deal.

well she could, but............

Any girl that wants that isn't worth the bother. IMHO

And if your feelings are as messed up as you say then I can't see how you could possibly have a 'Just Friends' relationship if your heart yearns for so much more.

Sorry to butt in here, but I know exactly where you're coming from. My bf did the same thing a couple of years ago, notice I didn't say ex? Let's just say he didn't like it when the tables were reversed. Just go with your gut. I feel your pain man, I'd say something horrible about her, but I'm sure she's a nice person or you wouldn't love her to start with, right?

Your gf sounds like she has you wraped around her little finger!
You need to lay down the law!
And if she cant accept that, send her packing!😮‍💨

Hang on, hang on, I think there is a lot of judgmentalism going on here. All we have is that this girl has fallen in love with someone else but still has feelings for Backfire. Which has happened to her and some 3/4s of the world at some point, I think.

She's not after a relationship with both of them, from what I read here, only the new guy. She wants to stay friends with Backfire. Now, if Backfire does not think he can bear staying friends with this girl if she is sleeping with someone else then that is totally understandable but I do not think she deserves the criticism she is getting here!

If Backfire can confirm that she is actually wanting a full secxual relationship with both men then I agree with the sentiments expressed above. Other than that it seems to be rather an assumption that has been made there.

yes she wants sexual relationships with both of us. she says she knows she'd be happiest with me, but she is really into this guy right now and wants to try stuff out with him. i told her that it isnt that cut and dry and that she has to choose, cuz im not going to take her bullshit anymore, excuse my language. lets see what happens, cuz i dont care anymore, its in her court now and i did that for a reason, that she'll have to live with whatever happens knowing that it was her choice, and no one elses.

Okidokey, then, yes, she has to make her choice.

yeah, and the thing that really twisted my nossle is that she was trying to make me seem like a bad guy for making her choose, she said that im taking her freedom away by forcing her to stay with me.

Some people prefer a more casual relationship, especially at earlier times in their life. Some people want a more committed thing. Just the way it works, I am afraid. If she is not ready for a one-man committment then you are best out of it, I think.

yeah, that why im giving her the choice, to let her get what she wants.

all of life is one compromise at a time, so we can all be happy 😉 💃 🤣 😮‍💨

So she has her new boy friend, but she's like "Hey, we can still be friends and have sex when you're around..."

Sorry man, you need to get out of there, get yourself some alone time and work her out of your system. You might feel like crap about it right now, but in then end if you don't then YOU will be the one who gets hurt. Move on, and let her ship out. She's treating you like dirt and you seem willing to let her.

I betting that you figure you're doing to right thing by giving her the choice, but all you're really doing is letting her take advantage of you. You seem to have that decent edge to you, why not get out there and find someone who will appreciate it?

I know this is probably NOT what you want to hear, but you're doing yourself no favours right now.