Originally posted by Autokrat
They pay for school and help me out with a lot of other stuff. Economically I'd find it very difficult to continue without their support.
Originally posted by King Kandy
So you're saying, if you don't stop writing dark stories, they will cut your college tuition etc. That is probably the biggest example of a "douche move" i've ever heard in my life.
They see it as a reflection of my "soul." If I can write dark stories I must be a dark and disgusting person. They haven't outright said they will cut funding yet, but considering how much I rely on them and how seriously pissed they are.
It's very stressful.
I assume you have, but have you just tried explaining how exploring darker motifs doesn't mean you support or emulate them. How the heck do your parents read your college writing anyway? Mine haven't seen a thing I've written since middle school, unless I specifically showed them.
Anyway, you could always suck it up for a few years, tell them what they want to hear, then do your own thing once you're financially dependant.
Originally posted by Digi
I assume you have, but have you just tried explaining how exploring darker motifs doesn't mean you support or emulate them. How the heck do your parents read your college writing anyway? Mine haven't seen a thing I've written since middle school, unless I specifically showed them.Anyway, you could always suck it up for a few years, tell them what they want to hear, then do your own thing once you're financially dependant.
They read my email because they have access to my student account (and have to send money over the internet to pay for college stuff), so they keep tabs on my private correspondence with my friends. Most of the time they leave me alone so I didn't think much of it when I sent the email with the document in it.
Nothing I can really do about it since they have the money.
okay 1st off i recommend you learn everything you can about ur parents belief ann then turn it around on them... second open up a different email account on yahoo or google to keep them from prying...
second i take it ur a suburbia white kid which explains a lot and i mean a lot...
your an adult start acting like one and when you talk to them talk like one make tjhem feel like they are ignorant children and you have already surpassed them by leaps and bounds.
talk about forgiveness understanding supporting ur children and most importantly how psychologically harmful it can be to force some one to repress once creativity or emotions for the benefit of another.. also most importantly ask them what would jesus do?
would he abandon you or call you names and belittle you for ur artistic expression....
tell them that as ur parents you love them even when you dont agree with them but you would never think less of them as they have you b/c you would not want to be judged as they have judged you by another higher power...
Originally posted by Autokrat
They see it as a reflection of my "soul." If I can write dark stories I must be a dark and disgusting person. They haven't outright said they will cut funding yet, but considering how much I rely on them and how seriously pissed they are.
As they say, write what you know.
Here's a short dialogue I had that really annoyed me. I was at home when the phone rang.
Me: Hello.
Female voice: Hello! Im calling to talk to you about Jesus! Our lord and savior!
Me: Um.. sorry, we're not christians.
The voice: Oh.. um... (5 seconds of silence) Well, it's not too late for you yet! You...
Me: (interrupting) Uh-huh. Ok. Bye-bye. (I hung up)
This is the first time someone tried to convert me with a phone call. What did she expect really? I remember that pissed me off.
Originally posted by SamZED
Here's a short dialogue I had that really annoyed me. I was at home when the phone rang.Me: Hello.
Female voice: Hello! Im calling to talk to you about Jesus! Our lord and savior!
Me: Um.. sorry, we're not christians.
The voice: Oh.. um... (5 seconds of silence) Well, it's not too late for you yet! You...
Me: (interrupting) Uh-huh. Ok. Bye-bye. (I hung up)This is the first time someone tried to convert me with a phone call. What did she expect really? I remember that pissed me off.
This seems to be symptomatic of a lot of attempted conversions. They're over the phone, via email attachments (both of which I've experienced), I've seen Bible verses written onto Birthday cards intended for an atheist friend of mine. In other words, the attempts are shallow. I can never really figure out i they actually think that such basic attempts will do anything, or if they refrain from a full attempt for various reasons (afraid to insult the person, too lazy, etc.).
I don't prostelytize for the simple reason that there usually isn't enough time or the right format in which to do so. Well, that, and I also don't really care what other people believe. It's not an affront to me if someone believes in God. But I am more than willing to challenge the beliefs of others, but I never pretend that it's something I can do in a short, casual conversation or soundbite-esque story. My "challenges" have been few and far between, because I realize that most religious discussions I have will not afford me the time to have any impact, so I allow them to be one-sided for the other person involved.
Now, what I have found is that many peoples' religion faith is an emotional truth. In other words, they "feel" God's presence...they don't need to justify His existence to themselves logically. That approach is nonexistent, because it's incompatible with how they experience their beliefs. And their faith is tested when something bad happens, and they lose tha warm emotional connection with their deity. So in that sense, I can partially understand such approaches to conversion. Because for someone who believes/disbelieves based on emotion, the need to feel "saved" or "chosen" or "infinitely loved" can be a powerful draw. And I don't even mean to imply that such people are unintelligent. They can run the gamut of intellgence. I just think that those who approach religious experience in such a way are the audience of your phone caller.
Originally posted by DigiWTF? lol shit like that happens to me ALL the time, but its just annoying as hell when you get a dick instead of some passive-aggressive "nice" guy lmao.
Here's what this is:It's a place to talk about everyday encounters or events from your own life that deal in some way with religion. We're all interesting people (haermm) and we like to talk religion. We undoubtedly have fun stuff to tell.
This isn't a place to post Chicken Soup For the Soul-esque stories to tout a particular belief system. Nor is it the place to attack the veracity of stories in order to further your own worldview.
Now, if you have an event from your life that, in the course of telling it, sends a clear message that you are or aren't a particular religion, that's fine. It would be impossible to avoid this. But I think (hope?) that we're all aware enough to realize the difference between sharing a story and proselytizing. The former is encouraged. The latter will be reported.
Feel free to add your own, or comment on others' stories.
....
Anyway, I'll start...
So today I was at a dinner following a church golf outing. It was a group my dad had belonged to for years, and many of his old friends were there. Good food, free beer, good times. So a Santa Claus stand-in (seriously, bowl full of jelly belly and a scruffy white beard) finds me at one point and starts chatting me up. This eventually leads to the question:
"Do you attend church here?"
"Oh, no. My family does but I don't."
Suddenly more serious: "Well you should."
I smile slightly and also try to avoid an eye-roll, because I see where it's going. "Uh, yeah. Thanks but no thanks."It's always a fine line when this happens to me (and it has a few times). I enjoy religious discussion, but this was clearly unsolicited and he intended for it to be one-sided rather than an exchange of ideas. It's generally uncalled for, so I'm a bit annoyed when it happens and would love to go on the offensive, either with defending my privacy in religious decisions or in questioning his own practices and beliefs. On the other hand, I'm a pretty laid back dude who doesn't like offending others, and for the most part I have no problem with religion or its adherents. I've only really gone off once in my life, and the dude more than deserved it. But it's a recurring struggle with these things.
Anyway, I tried to remain congenial with Santa but eventually tried to trip him up. After some of his own brief proselytizing, he asked me, "who put you on this earth?"
"My parents," once again waiting for the inevitable response, accompanied by a slight head wag.
"God did."
"Really? How do you know that?" I asked, finally allowing myself a touch of irony. He just smiled and tapped his heart a few times. He's probably a real altruistic dude, and thought he was doing a great thing. So it's hard to be angry, but I was still annoyed.
I tapped my own heart. "Well I have this that says that that's wrong. How do we know which one of us is right?"
"You just have to look inside yourself and be able to give thanks for what you have." Ok, so I was done at that point. I had expected either an appeal to faith or a dodge, and got the latter, and didn't feel like continuing. I wanted to let him know I am atheist, because I don't think he had put it together, and thought I was a lapsed Christian who simply didn't practice anymore. It might have given him a shock. But I got myself out with some cliche lines and left.So yeah, nothing profound, evil, funny, etc. But I've encountered this sort of thing enough to have it be something that I think about, because I'm always unsure of how to handle it. It's tempting to be a d*ck, but I would also feel bad about it more often than not.
If anyone has similar stories, feel free to share. Or completely unrelated ones, share those as well.
once at my school i was talking to my friends jorge and timmy, and we started on the subject of religion. i asked if they go to church, they both said no, then i asked if they believed in god, and they said yea. I asked why (in a polite manner) and they said they always did, it was they way they were raised, that they had to and always would, etc. etc. Eventually after beating around the bush for a while i got out the point that i was an atheist, and they both looked at my like i was crazy. One of them actually didnt look like he wanted to talk to me anymore. timmy asked me "how do you think we got here?' i said "i dont know for sure, but i dont think its god and i would put more money on the big bang" and he actually said "isnt the big bang the thing that put the earth together?" and i couldnt help but laugh. The fact that these ignorant little kids were judging me, especially when they didnt know what the hell they were talking about just got me heated.
Originally posted by Digi
This seems to be symptomatic of a lot of attempted conversions. They're over the phone, via email attachments (both of which I've experienced), I've seen Bible verses written onto Birthday cards intended for an atheist friend of mine. In other words, the attempts are shallow. I can never really figure out i they actually think that such basic attempts will do anything, or if they refrain from a full attempt for various reasons (afraid to insult the person, too lazy, etc.).I don't prostelytize for the simple reason that there usually isn't enough time or the right format in which to do so. Well, that, and I also don't really care what other people believe. It's not an affront to me if someone believes in God. But I am more than willing to challenge the beliefs of others, but I never pretend that it's something I can do in a short, casual conversation or soundbite-esque story. My "challenges" have been few and far between, because I realize that most religious discussions I have will not afford me the time to have any impact, so I allow them to be one-sided for the other person involved.
Now, what I have found is that many peoples' religion faith is an emotional truth. In other words, they "feel" God's presence...they don't need to justify His existence to themselves logically. That approach is nonexistent, because it's incompatible with how they experience their beliefs. And their faith is tested when something bad happens, and they lose tha warm emotional connection with their deity. So in that sense, I can partially understand such approaches to conversion. Because for someone who believes/disbelieves based on emotion, the need to feel "saved" or "chosen" or "infinitely loved" can be a powerful draw. And I don't even mean to imply that such people are unintelligent. They can run the gamut of intellgence. I just think that those who approach religious experience in such a way are the audience of your phone caller.
I have a co-worker who is born-again, and was an atheist a few years back. Apparently he used to scoff at religious references, and at one point after the switch they had to tell him to stop posting religious material to the organization's facebook.
So yeah, that's the story.
I'm looking forward to the "I'm an atheist" reveal though. Should end up creating some interesting dynamics.
i'm usually not very outspoken about my beliefs in real life because of the reaction it typically gets from people. i've even felt compelled to say i believed in god just to make other people happy. this one cashier i had at walmart, some jamaican lady, was humming happily to herself as she rang up my items. i smiled at her and she asked me, completely at random, are you a believer? i was caught off guard and not sure i heard her right, so i said come again? and she asked me more directly, do you believe in the lord? she looked too happy for me to say no. for some reason i just said yes, i believe in my own version but i'm not a church goer. she said ah well as long as you have the belief, that is what is important. maybe some day the church part will come. i just said maybe and left it at that. i felt that had i been honest i might have ruined her good mood. if god can make her happy while working as a cashier at walmart then more power to her.
on the flip side to that, this easter i had a few random people try to convert me. it seems they were on the prowl this holiday season. now while i didn't want to express my beliefs to the happy cashier for whatever reason, if people come up to me and blatantly proselytize then i love to give them my honest views. i find that these people are much more likely to engage in a serious discussion on religion than the average believer. they take their religion seriously enough to go out and try to convert others, and so i don't see any reason to hold back in that case.
the most notable guy was a jehovas witness. jehovas are probably my favorite people to discuss religion with. they never seem to get offended at my objections towards their belief system, which is something i can really respect. i have yet to ever meet a thin skinned jehova. probably from all the abuse they're used to getting thrown at them while going door to door.
the guy strikes up a conversation with me while i'm sitting in my van outside walmart after work (i used to work there until very recently; overnight stock shift). my shift had just ended, it was early in the morning and i was smoking a cigar, about to leave when he comes up to my window and says he wants to talk about god. i say alright, lets hear what you got. we ended up debating everything from the supposed perfection of human anatomy, to evolution, to whether or not war or violence can ever be considered justifiable (he insisted that jehovas were true followers of the lord because they reject violence in every form regardless of the circumstance), to the curse of canaan and its racial implications, to whether premarital sex or homosexuality has any moral implications, and many other arguments that i'm probably forgetting. we went back and forth like that for maybe 45 minutes to an hour. at the end of it all he asked me for my email address and said he'd like to discuss this again some time, and that he respected my honesty. he was not at all mad that i didn't want to join his church. then he hopped into a rusted chevy sedan with his wife in the drivers seat and they drove away. that really impressed me for some reason. this was on the thursday before easter.
the next night, on good friday, i got approached while actually working inside walmart, this time by a couple, and once again completely at random. i think they have some sort of built in radar that detects non-believers.
the couple didn't tell me what church they were from, they pretended to be striking up a random conversation which would conveniently lead to jesus christ. they weren't nearly as subtle as they hoped to be.
the woman started out: she asked me what would i think if i committed a crime, and then my friend opted to go to prison in my place. i said i would think that's wrong. she said but what would you think about your friend? i said i would think that he is crazy. she said but it would take a pretty good friend to do something like that, would it not? i said maybe he was a good friend, but i certainly wasn't a good friend for taking the offer.
at this point the man interjected, and he asked have you ever stolen? i said of course. have you ever lied? i said of course, all the time. they laughed at that. then they got to the point: everybody lies. most people steal at one point, or commit numerous other sins. jesus was my friend. only he could redeem me for my sins, and he had opted to take his punishment in my place because he loves me. and that his offer applied to all mankind.
i thought about that for a second. so let me get this straight, i said to them: what you're telling me is that the entire human race are a bunch of theives and liars. yes, that's right they said. but jesus loves us anyway, and was willing to give his life in order to save us from the punishment we rightfully deserve. yes, that's exactly it they said. so i replied: what the hell is wrong with him? they bid me good day and walked away.
I live in a place with a huge atheist population. The moderate christians just keep to themselves because it really isn't something they want to start trouble over. As a result, the only christians who proselytize are the hard-core fundamentalists, and I shy away from talking to them because it usually degenerates very quickly. Anyway, this lead to a story recently:
When I went to school, I knew an ultra-fundy girl who I would constantly get into fights with (which the teacher encouraged). We even had an in-class debate over abortion where she actually started crying because I showed how basically every claim she made was wrong, and she desperately wanted to convince me but I was just logically running rings around her.
Anyway, I started seeing her recently, and stayed away, because I figured she was the same nut she always was, and didn't want to start anything. But after months of this, I overheard her and apparently she's an atheist now (or at least way more moderate). What made her change? Her mother apparently thought that her headaches were a sign of demonic possession. That's what did the trick.
Originally posted by Lucius
They read my email because they have access to my student account (and have to send money over the internet to pay for college stuff), so they keep tabs on my private correspondence with my friends. Most of the time they leave me alone so I didn't think much of it when I sent the email with the document in it.Nothing I can really do about it since they have the money.
Oh, I can help with that. If only I had found your post a year ago.
You're welcome anyways.