Homophobic

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
A polite "no thank you" is sufficient. The additional qualifiers are unnecessary, and borderline offensive.

Informing a gay man about your sexuality is no more offensive than a gay man informing you about his sexuality especially in the sense of him coming on to you. How could one be offended by a guy telling a gay man that he isn't gay?

Maybe he just wanted a ride home?

Originally posted by Wei Phoenix
Informing a gay man about your sexuality is no more offensive than a gay man informing you about his sexuality especially in the sense of him coming on to you. How could one be offended by a guy telling a gay man that he isn't gay?

If a heterosexual man is approached by a woman to whom he has not attracted, he does not qualify his disinterest by stating that she is not attracted to her. It is sufficient to say, "no thank you," and offensive to say, "now let me tell you why."

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
If a heterosexual man is approached by a woman to whom he has not attracted, he does not qualify his disinterest by stating that she is not attracted to her. It is sufficient to say, "no thank you," and offensive to say, "now let me tell you why."

Because saying you are not attracted to someone implies a failure on their part. Stating you have an inherent different sexual attraction is not a failure on anyone's part, just a fact of life, and should not be considered offensive.

Nice: I'm sorry, I am attracted to men.

Not Nice: I'm sorry the body part that you have analogous to a penis is not big enough to be considered a penis and since I like men, that means you are unattractive to me and it's your fault...ew.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Because saying you are not attracted to someone implies a failure on their part. Stating you have an inherent different sexual attraction is not a failure on anyone's part, just a fact of life, and should not be considered offensive.

however, a lot of the people who would deem it absolutly necessary to establish their sexual orientation in that scenario are likely to be the type that is doing so to establish that they are fundamentally different than "homosexuals".

I don't know, I see how it could be offensive. Not from everyone, but sometimes at least

Originally posted by inimalist
however, a lot of the people who would deem it absolutly necessary to establish their sexual orientation in that scenario are likely to be the type that is doing so to establish that they are fundamentally different than "homosexuals".

I don't know, I see how it could be offensive. Not from everyone, but sometimes at least

Well, I was operating under the assumption that we were talking about a polite "No, thank you, I am not gay" without any ill intentions, if we include your point though I think we might as well argue that even a "No, thank you" can be offensive coming from certain people.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Well, I was operating under the assumption that we were talking about a polite "No, thank you, I am not gay" without any ill intentions, if we include your point though I think we might as well argue that even a "No, thank you" can be offensive coming from certain people.

its not the same though

its the identification of the difference, as though there is a value judgement being made. Like I said, certainly not in all people, but I'd say most who feel it is essential to say they aren't gay would feel that there is a negative value judgement of the category "homosexual"

He could always come back with the argument that it won't be gay unless he buys you breakfast.

Originally posted by inimalist
its not the same though

its the identification of the difference, as though there is a value judgement being made. Like I said, certainly not in all people, but I'd say most who feel it is essential to say they aren't gay would feel that there is a negative value judgement of the category "homosexual"

I don't know if it isn't the same, I think really the intention here is the same. You can make a "No, thank you" sound offensive just as you could make a "No, thank you, I'm not gay" sound offensive. Perhaps it would be easier, with the latter, but the phrase itself is not offensive, it's a perfectly polite thing to say if you mean it as such. It's definitely not a "No, thank you, I am not attracted to you".

Originally posted by Bardock42
I don't know if it isn't the same, I think really the intention here is the same. You can make a "No, thank you" sound offensive just as you could make a "No, thank you, I'm not gay" sound offensive. Perhaps it would be easier, with the latter, but the phrase itself is not offensive, it's a perfectly polite thing to say if you mean it as such. It's definitely not a "No, thank you, I am not attracted to you".

I'm saying that it would be subconscious, not actually intending offense.

I hear you though, I'm not saying anything is absolute. i'm just saying that needing to specify your sexuality might indicate you feel appearing "gay" at all is a bad thing.

Originally posted by inimalist
I'm saying that it would be subconscious, not actually intending offense.

I hear you though, I'm not saying anything is absolute. i'm just saying that needing to specify your sexuality might indicate you feel appearing "gay" at all is a bad thing.

Maybe, but even then would that be offensive? But I do agree ultimately, it can be offensive, I just don't think it is inherently.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Maybe, but even then would that be offensive?

I feel being put into a category based on something as unimportant as sexual preference and then being negatively evaluated for such a thing is offensive

Originally posted by Bardock42
But I do agree ultimately, it can be offensive, I just don't think it is inherently.

no, totally. Words are meaningless without the context. Someone wishing to be offensive really wouldn't have to say anything.

Originally posted by inimalist
I feel being put into a category based on something as unimportant as sexual preference and then being negatively evaluated for such a thing is offensive

no, totally. Words are meaningless without the context. Someone wishing to be offensive really wouldn't have to say anything.

Yeah, but if it is subconscious isn't it more an issue for the person who has those feelings than for the gay person.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Yeah, but if it is subconscious isn't it more an issue for the person who has those feelings than for the gay person.

Have nothing against them. Generally, they're cool.

Depends on the persons personaity IMO but I think Lesbians and straight guys are fine.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Yeah, but if it is subconscious isn't it more an issue for the person who has those feelings than for the gay person.

sure, that doesn't mean someone can't take offense.

its always nice to think that people who need to act in socially impolite ways are actually themselves the ones who are most afflicted (the burden of hate and all that). Maybe its true, who knows.

TBH, im not so sure where I was comming from with that arguement so much...

Originally posted by Colossus-Big C
no

if you subconsciously feel the need to define yourself as different (maybe "better" is a more appropriate term) than gay people, you have a problem