Originally posted by Lara
Ok so hered the deal:my best mate, Rob. We've been in each others pockets for 9 years. We got on like a house on fire instantly. Would do pretty much any thing for each other. We've always had a weird connection. That no one else understands. Many people get the wrong impression when we are out even though we have never been more than friends.
Mutual feeling have been expressed on a few occassions but nothing has come of it. We've always been in relationships. He recently got engaged to his current interest. Ive nursed him through more than enough bad relationships. Im not sure whats going on at the moment its like he wants the best of both worlds. I dont know. HELP ME PPL!!!!
and he wants to see you naked, i bet..
Oh! I think iv been misunderstood. Im trying to figure out what the hell is going no and what im doing! Lol. I asked on here as there is no one I can ask in rl who wouldnt pass it down the line. Too many people could get hurt at this information although nothing has gone on between rob and I other than talk.
Do I love him? Yes I do, he's my best friend. Am I in love with him? Thats the killer question. Am I jealous? No. Do I want to keep seeing him f. Up his life with schizos that hurt him? No bloody way, in fact Im sick of watching him make the same cock ups over and over again. Do I think this girl is right for him? No. Do I think he should go ahead and marry her? HELL NO!
The three me up went out for dinner with another friend on Friday night.
She turned up from work in a really weird mood. Thought nothing more of it until she turned a perfectly harmless banter into some kind of competition and assult on me which was also very hurtful to rob. She basically spat at me across the table about the termination she had of robs child, that I had no idea what that was like (ok fair one, I dont but im firmly against abortion but it was HER choice, rob didnt get a second thought, hes still really cut up about it. But had I been in her place, I would have kept the child regardless!) then she continued on about back up plans for marriage and children! Thta I was robs back up plan. Baring in mind this isnt a conversation rob and I have had at all! The whole thing made me feel pretty damn worthless not so mention blood boiling angry! When rob brought her up on it apparently she wasnt even aware of aware of what she was saying let alone that she had stressed him to the point of spewing and angered me to the point of wanting to subject her to a long painful torturous death.
thoughts on this ppl?
Sounds like Rob needs a new woman.
The unfortunate thing about your situation is that, really, if Rob habitually dates women like this than it's because he has some kind of latent attraction to them, in which case, there's nothing you can really do to change that. Rob will only learn his lesson regarding win via experience.
All you can do is be there for him when the shit hits the fan. Don't give your opinion on the woman unless he specifically asks you for it, and even then tread lightly. You don't want to give the impression to him, her or your own conscious that you're trying to split them up. That won't be good for any of you.
Originally posted by dadudemonA billion's the new million. Voli's a new vodka. Forty is the new 30. Baby you're a rockstar.
Since we only live life once (maybe), try to get out of life what you want. Is Rob really worth all of this? If he is then what are you waiting for? Sounds like you want to be with Rob.Keep in mind that there is over 3 billion men in this world. Billllliooon.
And here's the answer:
Friends of the opposite sex can be complicated IF lines are not clearly drawn and respected, not just in behavior but in thinking.
Know where you're coming from in your head (eg, "We're friends: that's it"😉 - OR - realize where you want to be in your heart (eg, I want more than friendship). Either way, a decision has to be made. Once done, then you'll either sh*t or get off the pot.
Good luck.
My best friend is a woman. I have no romantic feelings for her, and she is pretty damn hot.
There are certain instances when I've been friends with a woman, and then develop feeling, most likely due to sexual attraction, but either we jumped in the sack together, or resolved it with words. I don't find it hard to be friends with women, those guys who say they can't just because of physical attraction, or because they'd get jealous, are just possessive by nature.
Originally posted by Lara
Oh! I think iv been misunderstood. Im trying to figure out what the hell is going no and what im doing! Lol. I asked on here as there is no one I can ask in rl who wouldnt pass it down the line. Too many people could get hurt at this information although nothing has gone on between rob and I other than talk.Do I love him? Yes I do, he's my best friend. Am I in love with him? Thats the killer question. Am I jealous? No. Do I want to keep seeing him f. Up his life with schizos that hurt him? No bloody way, in fact Im sick of watching him make the same cock ups over and over again. Do I think this girl is right for him? No. Do I think he should go ahead and marry her? HELL NO!
The three me up went out for dinner with another friend on Friday night.
She turned up from work in a really weird mood. Thought nothing more of it until she turned a perfectly harmless banter into some kind of competition and assult on me which was also very hurtful to rob. She basically spat at me across the table about the termination she had of robs child, that I had no idea what that was like (ok fair one, I dont but im firmly against abortion but it was HER choice, rob didnt get a second thought, hes still really cut up about it. But had I been in her place, I would have kept the child regardless!) then she continued on about back up plans for marriage and children! Thta I was robs back up plan. Baring in mind this isnt a conversation rob and I have had at all! The whole thing made me feel pretty damn worthless not so mention blood boiling angry! When rob brought her up on it apparently she wasnt even aware of aware of what she was saying let alone that she had stressed him to the point of spewing and angered me to the point of wanting to subject her to a long painful torturous death.thoughts on this ppl?
Originally posted by Deja~vu
Most of my friends are the opposite sex. It works as long as the lines aren't crossed.My family is all guys and all my cousins are all guys except for one older female cousin. I moved a lot and most of my neighbors were all guys so for me, it's easier to hang out with guys. I understand them better.
Mine too it seems that guys are easy to talk to then girls are. And I have alot of guy friends I talk to at work while the girls are not as friendly and are mosty back stabbers anyway. 🙁
Sounds like Rob is the one with the real issues here.
1) dating a jealous *****
If that was me and the girl I was dating told my good friend of 9 ****ing years that sort of stuff I'd tell her to GTFO
2) staying with a woman who murdered your child
lolno
3) not making a firm decision regarding the feelings between you two.
lara is having issues cause this guy won't or hasn't made his feelings on the matter clear
He's obviously a beta with no understanding of the real world. He needs to man up and dump that horrible thing. His own ignorance and immaturity is causing his problems. Probably also has low self esteem to think he has to settle for someone like that.
On that note:
It feels like the 'alpha/beta' terms have really gained popularity lately, but maybe I just started noticing them? Or did they come from some pop culture source when I wasn't paying attention?
Anyways, it seems like being a straight, non-misogynistic man makes you inherently 'beta' (where the A in Alpha can be understood to mean *******) but that could be a skewed interpretation of what the terms are meant to mean.
And being a gay guy isn't even ranked on the greek alphabet, I guess.
Originally posted by Existere
On that note:It feels like the 'alpha/beta' terms have really gained popularity lately, but maybe I just started noticing them? Or did they come from some pop culture source when I wasn't paying attention?
Anyways, it seems like being a straight, non-misogynistic man makes you inherently 'beta' (where the A in Alpha can be understood to mean *******) but that could be a skewed interpretation of what the terms are meant to mean.
And being a gay guy isn't even ranked on the greek alphabet, I guess.
Pretty sure Quanchi112 is their Caucus Leader.
Originally posted by Lara
Ok so hered the deal:my best mate, Rob. We've been in each others pockets for 9 years. We got on like a house on fire instantly. Would do pretty much any thing for each other. We've always had a weird connection. That no one else understands. Many people get the wrong impression when we are out even though we have never been more than friends.
Mutual feeling have been expressed on a few occassions but nothing has come of it. We've always been in relationships. He recently got engaged to his current interest. Ive nursed him through more than enough bad relationships. Im not sure whats going on at the moment its like he wants the best of both worlds. I dont know. HELP ME PPL!!!!
You need to be honest with him. If you love him, and enjoy being around him, stop being stupid and be with him. If not, stand on the sidelines and watch as some other chick walks away with your best friend. I would think that the best relationship a person can have is with their best friend.
Nothing sucks more than sitting and reminiscing over the one that got away. In time that's likely what will happen to you both, you'll become pretty far away. The both of you will likely have significant others, and those people will refuse to entertain your odd relationship, because of jealousy.