Re: Do we need to love, or be loved?
Originally posted by Stoic
My question is this; can we live an entire lifetime without love, or are we too weak physically, mentally or spiritually to go it alone until the day we die? What are the consequences of being alone for prolonged periods (years), and why are so many people alone in a world filled with so many others?Comments.
If you spend a prolonged period of time alone, that is with out human contact, that feeling of being loved, a hug, a kiss or just lying in bed with a person you care about you become resentful of not just people who have it but pretty much every thing else in life.
It does change you, becoming a very cynical person it's natural to start hiding your emotions and even pretending like you don't care about any one or any thing. It's not a good experience or maybe it is, maybe I appreciate my girlfriend more than I would have with out going through the years of loneliness and depression.
Just wanting to love some one, for some one to love me even though I would not admit it at the time or even now to any one out side of an internet message board. It's part of who we are, no different than needing air to live we need human contact to survive because we are not designed for a life of solitude.
Just my thoughts based on personal experience it's been a long time since I came here.
Hey, I've been single for 6 years since I walked in on my ex cheating on me. Was with her for 5 yrs and then she threw it away. Putting a ring on her finger was the worst mistake I ever made. Haven't been in love since then, so I sometimes ask myself do I remember even how to express much less feel love.
Building walls and psychological defenses is very easy for me. What Magee has written is true. I have become bitter and resentful and sometimes when I see a couple I hate them. I never let go of the anger I felt towards my ex. Contrary to popular belief, it very easy to shield your emotions. Sometimes I also deal with Depression. It's a fault I deal with every day. Maybe I'm also fearful of leaving myself vulnerable - not wanting to be hurt again.
Also the music I listen to doesn't really help. Underground 80s punk and rap/metal like Rage Against the Machine, Korn, etc etc is a way for me to release the "stress." Songs like "Narcissistic Cannibal"[http://youtu.be/sR-ZBWzxfkI] is like a catharsis. I haven't been exactly celebate either, but I look for the wrong person who end up treating me like crap. I guess you and me buddy have to be patient.
On a more serious note, I think it really depends on a person's experience and/or principles.
I've seen people go through life without ever getting married, and they get through life just fine.
e.g. Marriage is a form of love, imo. A long-lasting, affectionate one.
I've seen others who live a solitary life, away from family and friends and community. The stereotypical 'loner'.
I think first, you need to define love.
What is love for you? Does it play a significant role in your life? Can you live your life normally without loving anyone?
Do you love yourself more than others? Or do you love others more than yourself?
If you show care and respect towards others, do you love them too?
For me, love is partly essential, in a way related to family.
The family is, imo, a person's first real love (unless they have a rather dysfunctional family). The people closest to you are the people you care the most.
And as you grow up, you either find your soul mate or you don't.
I know some people who were brainwashed heavily by religion to the point that they claim to love God above all else.
God is what love is for them.