When did you discover sex...?

Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
I'm not ridiculing you I'm just saying people don't like you because you're well known as a troll.

By stating that you've witnessed me posting the story you're attempting to ridicule me.

By stating that I'm disliked, and that I'm a troll, you're displaying bias against me.

So you're not ridiculing me by saying that I'm disliked or that I'm a troll. See the difference? It shouldn't be too much of a mental exercise to wrap your head around.

You stated you were disliked not me, try to keep track.
Saying that you're disliked because you're a troll isn't displaying bias since its well established. Sort of like calling van der Lubbe an arsonist. People don't say that because they're biased against him, they say it because he had a history of setting building on fire.

Cut it out, everyone, or I'll close the thread.

Astner, you are stirring up trouble again which you have been banned for once already; it will be permanent next time.

Moving along then, for me, much like Sym and NemeBro it wasn't a real awakening and "discovering" sex. Consciously having an urge for sexual experiences I think I got when I was about 10.

Big discoveries and revelations never made an impact on my memory. Sex was just a gradual understanding over time, until eventually it just "made sense". Kind of liking learning about Santa or the Tooth Fairy. No big reveal.

Originally posted by Ushgarak
Astner, you are stirring up trouble again which you have been banned for once already; it will be permanent next time.

I also don't see how what I've said in this thread would warrant a permanent ban, but I'll back down just in case. I have certain friends here--well in the versus section--and I'm not going to risk that.

So if I've offended anyone in this thread, then I'm genuinely sorry for that.

Some old VHS box.

Originally posted by Astner
Oh yeah. I remember that. Peach gave me a week ban because I said "I'm sorry if I offended you." because she thought I was being snide. And that's the only time I've been banned. As opposed to certain other members who have a far more extensive record.

I also don't see how what I've said in this thread would warrant a permanent ban, but I'll back down just in case. I have certain friends here--well in the versus section--and I'm not going to risk that.

So if I've offended anyone in this thread, then I'm genuinely sorry for that.

Originally posted by Astner
So if I've offended anyone in this thread, then I'm genuinely sorry for that.

nice pony can I pet your hair with my pony hair brush??

It was a warm afternoon.

I was sunning myself by the pool, Mrs. Jenkins had just stopped in with her customary package for my mother in their mutual endeavors. I had never really known what those endeavors were, only that they smelled like strong perfume and a sense of nostalgia for what I placed as the 50's. But looking back on it, given their ages, it must have been the 70's.

The 50's held grandeur for me, I could never say why. Not unlike the barely hidden bosom of Mrs. Jenkins as she leaned forward slightly and waved out to me.

"Hello deary. Fine day!" The words seemed too old for her. Looking back, I doubt she said "deary." Fine day, though, and it certainly was.

She walked casually out to the pool, gave me another wave, and sat down so as to dangle her legs in the pool. She swam them back and forth for minutes, or days. It gave me an unfettered view from behind my sunglasses and umbrella. I couldn't look away. Maybe she noticed, I thought I was being discreet. But her smiled widened when she looked to me....

Originally posted by Digi
It was a warm afternoon.

I was sunning myself by the pool, Mrs. Jenkins had just stopped in with her customary package for my mother in their mutual endeavors. I had never really known what those endeavors were, only that they smelled like strong perfume and a sense of nostalgia for what I placed as the 50's. But looking back on it, given their ages, it must have been the 70's.

The 50's held grandeur for me, I could never say why. Not unlike the barely hidden bosom of Mrs. Jenkins as she leaned forward slightly and waved out to me.

"Hello deary. Fine day!" The words seemed too old for her. Looking back, I doubt she said "deary." Fine day, though, and it certainly was.

She walked casually out to the pool, gave me another wave, and sat down so as to dangle her legs in the pool. She swam them back and forth for minutes, or days. It gave me an unfettered view from behind my sunglasses and umbrella. I couldn't look away. Maybe she noticed, I thought I was being discreet. But her smiled widened when she looked to me....

👆

It was 2000, I was on the set of Dark Angel. James Cameron invited me. He needed the same expertise and creative output I gave when I helped write Aliens and the Terminator films. What he actually wanted that day was to film me doing his wife Linda Hamilton. Because I hadn't had my sexual awakening yet I was gonna need more than her to get my juices flowing. Plus she was gross. So I respectfully declined.

But all that changed when Jessica Alba walked on set. She was wearing that tight leather bikey chick number. We saw each other from across the room and instantly like pure instinct we drifted towards each other.

JESSICA: I hear you're pretty hot stuff. You a playa playa from the Himilayas?
NINJAK: You bet your fine ass sweetcheecks.
JESSICA: You wanna do a little role play? you be the director, I'll be the lost country girl lookin ta make it big in Hollywood.
NINJAK: Lets go to Jim's trailer. Lets just say I got just the right part for you.

Inside we giggled as we desperately tore each others clothes off.

JESSICA: Be gentle it's my first time.
NINJAK: It's OK. It's mine too.

We shagged for 20 mins in what could only be described as an out of body viscious act of animal madness. She told me she loved me but I told her when I'm ready I'll return for her. I moved back to Australia and honed my skills in the art of Ninjitsu. Undertook criminal psyche and lived my destiny as an urban vigilante.

I actually forget how old I was. It was after I could legally drink though, so like 22-23? My current coworkers think I have mad game though, so it's pretty funny. Apparently they're all awkward penguin types when it comes to girls, despite some of them being in relationships, so me doing something normal like asking out a girl I chat up in a bar, or dating two women in the span of two months, is unheard of for them.

I think I was six, my uncles had come to visit and they always stayed up late, well one night I woke up, and stealthly walked towards the living room. My uncle and his girlfriend were watching porn, and I had little concept of what it was, just that I knew I shouldn't be watching. I was about to walk back to my room when my uncles gf burst out in orgasm, apparently he was flicking her bean. I got a stiff one, and hightailed it out of there. Later on I used that as leverage for a new Sega genesis.

"A stiff one" at 6?

I think, i'm not sure.

Originally posted by Thoren
I think, i'm not sure.

That was a roll of Lifesavers in your pocket, kid.

Sex ed did nothing for me. I understood the egg and sperm part, but they never said how they got together. Very confusing considering I had 3 brothers and I did see them naked. They were very small (young of course). I had to ask a friends sister how does it get in there. She said, "well, when I guy gets excited he grows longer." I said,"How long Like a few feet? Like a jump rope." If it's that long then how does he keep it in his pants without a very large bulge? She said "I'm not supposed to talk about it to you." But I got the idea. lol

Then I thought how gross, guys pee with that thing. 😂

Originally posted by Deja~vu
Then I thought how gross, guys pee with that thing. 😂