Okay, Dwarf Fortress. You've gone too far. This is absurd. I don't even know whether to laugh or cry.
So, I *thought* everything was going fine, this time. Everyone was being productive, we had plenty of food, lotsa metals, everyone has a bed to themselves, even a semi-functional hospital, and almost no injuries.
But then... Well, let me tell you the story of Dorfette. Dorfette was a promising migrant to my fortress, a peasant, so expendable, but also with sword skills already built up, so useful on risky and/or suicidal combat missions.
However, Dorfette not only survived combat, equipped as she was with no armour and only a copper short sword, she thrived, banzai charging into a staircase held by goblin besiegers, and neatly reducing them to their component parts.
A promotion was in order, and in time, Dorfette became the commander of my entire military operation, and then the other Dorfs even elected her to mayor. She was the happiest Dorf in my fortress, and now she had the biggest most badass bedroom, tons of friends, her own dining room, an office with artifact, masterwork furniture. I retired her from duty in the military after she damaged her hand, but it didn't seem to impede her mayoral duties!
And then she lost her mind.
"Dorfette is throwing a tantum"
Well, that's not good!
I'll just check my reports and see if she's attacked any-Okay, she just broke my metal smith's neck.
And so it began, she ran all over my fortress, unarmed, and punching other Dorfs into squishy giblets. Literally just running back and forth and punching them apart. She destroyed my farms, overturned workshops, and singlehandedly ended entire lineages with nothing but one good hand.
So, "wow", says me, "I better check what made her mood so miserable, and make sure I fix it before another Dorf loses their mind"
Okay, Dorfette, despite having an incredibly badass bedroom has been sleeping on cave floors for some reason. Oh. Also this:
Wat. DORFETTE U WOT. Jesus, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THIS WAS A THING THAT COULD HAPPEN.
Okay, so that's a thing. She's been drinking puke. Weird.
Out of morbid curiosity I go through the combat logs.
You'd be surprised how much of it looks like the above. She wasn't content to just kill, she had to maim some, and leave them alive to lie around puking all over everything until they gave out and died of exhaustion, blood loss, or dehydration.
What kind of monster did you assholes elect?
Eventually, though, she does calm down, return to her room and... I check her status. "Ecstatic". She's in the best mood of her life. Having TAKEN JOY IN SLAUGHTER LATELY. haermm Also she near immediately craps out a fawking baby. She was late-term pregnant through the entire rampage. This at least explains the mood swing, I guess?
And now my entire fortress, except her, is losing their minds. It's like she specifically targetted spouses and parents, and when she couldn't find those, friends and children. Holy shit, lady.
My fort survived that debacle, but another tantrum spiral is brewing.
The Dorfs have since bred like rabbits, there's about 40 children at any given time hanging out in my various dining halls. Except one of my crafters went mad because we had no glass, and he wanted to make something out of glass SO badly he lost his shit and yeah. So I had the military kill him. Somehow a bunch of other people died.
Note to self: don't use archers to kill one guy in a crowded hall. I guess.
Anyway now those 40 children are having the single largest fist fight I have ever seen. It's like The Hunger Games in here.
