Turns out I literally have disassociate multi-personality disorder

I was put in a psych-ward a few months ago for blacking out and ending up 11 miles from my house trying to get a rottweiler behind an electric fence to attack it. The authorities were alerted but had my mom pick me up. Apparently a few hours later I was hitting myself pretty hard so she took me to a psych-ward. I had no memory of any of it, no drugs in my system at all.

They were hesitant to say what it was, holding out this official diagnosis for like 3 months, but now they just prescribed me with lithium.

I'm not taking that shit.

I think I've only blacked out twice

first time I put my hand through a mirror and by sheer luck I still have full use of my fingers. Second time I somehow got rid of our gun. I still don't know where it is.

I'm literally unable to attack someone. Like, I remember getting beat pretty bad in middle school and I never touched the dude.

Usually MPDs don't express just two personalities nor do they appear like once in a blue moon. They're everyday things and even with a close eye on me all my life no one has known about me doing anything I didn't remember aside from those 3 times.

I want to try meditating, not medicating.

You're look for "dissociative" and, more specifically, "dissociative identity disorder." It used to be labelled "MPD" (multiple personality disorder) by the ICD-10 altered the classification a few years ago... I think.

I'd suggest professional self help techniques first, depending on the severity. Then, perhaps, medication.

I know that's not what it is.

I think it's self-hypnosis, something I can control. It happens when I'm about to lose it and do something that will change my life.

The only reason I can't do what I want, is because men who've been armed by people who rule other people will put their hand on me, give me a diatribe in front of judgmental and hypocritical eyes - and manipulate my life more extensively than they already are. Telling me when and what I can do until the day I die.

It's necessary to govern the people, of course. Laws that is, it's necessary to control ourselves.

Necessary, but destructive. It sustains the damage we do to the eco-system. I feel we've been given this circumstance in order to break the pattern. That's what God wants.

For the love of god, please take the medicine.

So am I the only one who thinks Oneness is going to end up hurting someone?

No.

Originally posted by Astner
So am I the only one who thinks Oneness is going to end up hurting someone?

No, if anything you are very late to the party.

I don't think he is.

You silly.

I think Neme has a point. It's not like he has general anger issues, a deep seated hatred of women, paranoid fantasies about people he knows, as well as faceless authorities that he thinks are conspiratorially try to keep him down and who he is going to get "retribution against", etc.

And he most definitely doesn't black out and has fits of anger punching through mirrors, or taking guns for a spin...

And he doesn't refuse to take medication that helps with it, and instead self medicates in all sort of different and mostly stupid ways.

And he doesn't drink and drive, and boasts about how he gets away with it.

Since none of those things apply to him, the chances that he'd hurt someone or himself are very slim.

Originally posted by Bardock42
I think Neme has a point. It's not like he has general anger issues, a deep seated hatred of women, paranoid fantasies about people he knows, as well as faceless authorities that he thinks are conspiratorially try to keep him down and who he is going to get "retribution against", etc.

And he most definitely doesn't black out and has fits of anger punching through mirrors, or taking guns for a spin...

And he doesn't refuse to take medication that helps with it, and instead self medicates in all sort of different and mostly stupid ways.

And he doesn't drink and drive, and boasts about how he gets away with it.

Since none of those things apply to him, the chances that he'd hurt someone or himself are very slim.

What about the rational voice that has allowed him to control himself with all means necessary to survive and stay out of trouble?

I've never attacked someone in my life, though I can relate to those who do and who're less controllable than I.

I know a psychopath, he almost mauled my ass one night. That's one man in which I couldn't win a hand to hand fight. I don't care who you are to him, if he snaps you're going to be fighting, and most likely losing.

The reason I'm not going to give in to superstition is because I'm obsessed with self-actualization, preservation. The resources available for you to use in becoming better are limited by wealth, and even more so when one is imprisoned. I'm not one to give in like that one guy you like to compare me to. My survival instinct outshines my killer instinct.

Originally posted by Bardock42
I think Neme has a point. It's not like he has general anger issues, a deep seated hatred of women,

Originally posted by Oneness
What about the optimist who makes 23,000 dollars year while taking on a fool workload at school?

lol

Originally posted by Astner
Please. According to you everyone has a deep-seated hatred of women.

Hah, I make your yearly salary in 3 months.

Besides, you didn't have to pay through the nose for your education.

All in all, I'm superior in that I live in a wealthier country.

Originally posted by Oneness
What about the optimist who makes 23,000 dollars year while taking on a fool workload at school?

What about the rational voice that has allowed him to control himself with all means necessary to survive and stay out of trouble?

I've never attacked someone in my life, though I can relate to those who do and who're less controllable than I.

I know a psychopath, he almost mauled my ass one night. That's one man in which I couldn't win a hand to hand fight. I don't care who you are to him, if he snaps you're going to be fighting, and most likely losing.

The reason I'm not going to give in to superstition is because I'm obsessed with self-actualization, preservation. The resources available for you to use in becoming better are limited by wealth, and even more so when one is imprisoned. I'm not one to give in like that one guy you like to compare me to. My survival instinct outshines my killer instinct.

Yeah, sorry I don't trust your words, when your stories of your actions so clearly suggest the opposite. In this very thread you talked about how you tried to attack a rottweiler, during your black out. What possible way do you have to know that the next time it isn't a person?

Originally posted by Bardock42
Yeah, sorry I don't trust your words, when your stories of your actions so clearly suggest the opposite. In this very thread you talked about how you tried to attack a rottweiler, during your black out. What possible way do you have to know that the next time it isn't a person?

You are trying hard to change my opinion though...

Originally posted by Oneness
In 4 years I'll be making more than you.

Actually you'd still be making less, never-mind then.

Originally posted by Astner
I'm considering going back for a PhD, and the pay of a doctorate in Sweden is roughly a third of what I'm making now.

Move out of your parent's house and be independent first, it's about time you popped your mommy's titty out your mouth, son.