cant decide between
i looked at my partner (now ex) and said when I was inside her. wait you wanted a condom on right?
or
I hooked up with this guy at a party and we went out for a few weeks, finally we started messing around and he took off his pants, I looked at his 'Wolf' (that's what he called his dick) and just laughed. he was asking what was so funny and I replied "that's what I have been wondering about" and just kept laughing