Let us Pray... (JOKES)

THE GIRL'S PRAYER

Our men's Cash
Which art on plastic
Hallowed be thy name
Thy Cartier watch
Thy Prada bag
In Harrods
As it is in Selfridges
Give us each day our Platinum Visa
And forgive us our overdraft
As we forgive those who stop our MasterCard
And lead us not into Next
And deliver us from Benetton
For thine is the Cartier, the Dior and the Armani
For Chanel No 5 and Eternity
Amex.

THE BOY'S PRAYER

Our beer
Which art in bottles
Hallowed be thy sport
Thy will be drunk
I will be drunk
At home as it is in the pub
Give us each day our daily beverage
And forgive us our spillage
As we forgive those who spillest against us
And lead us not into wine tasting
And deliver us from Tequila
For mine is the bitter
The chicks and the footy
Forever and ever
Barmen.

While were on a church related joke subject....

What's the difference between a nun praying and a nun having a bath?

Well the one's got hope in her soul and the other.....

😂 🤣 😂
Sick, but damn funny.

You know you'll go to hell for jokes like that!!!

Just another quickie, not exactly a joke but I've been giggling about this all weekend...

In the pub on Friday night and me and my mates were shteamin'. Between us we decide to think up a porno name for ourselves (you never know your luck my mate said!). Anyway our one mate seemed to know an awful (and to be honest quite frightening) amount about the subject and said we could disregard all our best efforts as they've already been used.

Finally after an hour in a lock-in I come with "Kenny Lingus", can that be topped? I don't think so!

Good, another religious thread. That's been a while. 😂

I'm outta here!

No wait. 😂

Kenny Lingus? I dont get it? Am I just being really naive or something but I really dont get it!

Nah, I'm already going to hell for my sins so I think I'll just give this one a miss. 😈

Just smile and nod, Edna. 🙂

I have some good catholic jokes at home, I have to dig them up. 🙂

Now that's the funniest thing I've heard all day..😂

Are you laughing at me again?

Yep, you poor, sheltered young lady....😂

Sheltered? Who says Im sheltered? Just erm ... ok then Im sheltered! There's nothing wrong with being Naive I'll have you know! It has its advatages if you know what I mean!

Well, being Mr. Naive 1986/87 I won't argue with you there.

Mr Naive 86/87?

Yep, that's me... Make of that what you will.

Well my friends have voted me the slowest person in the year so I guess we are as bad as each other!

Nice friends...

Well atleast they are truthful! I do have an incredibly slow sense of humour! Im always about a week behind everyone else!