Your sex life vs super powers
You will be granted super powers with a price to pay.
Your sex life will be changed completely.
Pick one:
1.- Silver Enuch:
You will be granted the powers of Silver Surfer as an exchange you will be a silver enuch incapable of having a penis. Your best bet for sexual relief will be to jerk off mentally because you don't have any sexual organs. But you still have the human desire for sex.
2.- Superjackoff:
You will be granted the powers of Superman, but you will be restrained by your own mental block of "letting it go" in fears of causing a mayor disaster with your orgasm of causing the death of the woman you love. Your only relief will be to squeeze the goose with your invunerable hand on your invunerable skin and even that will cause you to restrain your orgasm because you know that even with a simple sneeze you can destroy a solar system.
3.- The Splash
You will be granted the powers of the Flash however everything will be so slow that it will become boring thus making erection imposible or that if you use your full speed any woman or man (depending on your preference) will burst in flames because of friction. Your only relief will be a super speed jerk off that will cause global warming and the destruction of earth as we know it.
4.- The Gulp.
You are granted the powers of the Hulk, however being as emotional and as bipolar as the Hulk is having sex and let your emotions go will be a disaster for humanity. Your only relief will be being alone in a new mexico desert jerking off to pictures of the girl you like forever.
5.- The Batman.
No superpowers but lots of money and girls who want to screw your brains out. Unfortunately you are mentally unstable to have a grown up relationship.