The Green Room vol.3

Can you imagine creating the internet without being able to look things up on the internet?

I sometimes honestly think that the only hope for mankind is a major Carrington event that will fry all electronics on the planet and set us back 200 years.

When you sharpen a knife, you get better at sharpening knives, so the knife is also sharpening you.

It's a good thing farts aren't contagious like yawns are.

Just a cursory glance at Twitter suggests republicans are the blame for mass shootings.

I would argue that it's both parties acting in unison to unleash shooters upon the country to advance gun laws.

The end goal is to remove guns entirely from the citizens so they cannot ever do another uprising.

Which is ironic considering that's how you nitwits got your dumb country in the first place, you shot a shit load of British and kicked them the hell out.

So is it really so unimaginable to want to shoot a shit ton of politicians and take back your country from one of the most corrupt governments in history?

And people defend their government party like it's a fvcking sports team...

My team is better than your team! No, my team is more moral and diverse than your bigoted team!

Hey morons, you're defending criminals and powermad dickheads that do not care a single fvck about you!

That movie Idiocracy underestimated the fvcking stupidity of the American people, I swear you're in an arms race to get to absolute Zero IQ points.

Personally I think everyone should have guns, just no bullets, like never make new bullets either, then people with shotguns will feel lucky because they can use it like a club.

Whatever planet humans come from, I think the natural days were somewhere between 26 and 28 hours long. I base this on my own limited experience from being on vacation with no schedule. If I get a good night's sleep (6 to 8 hours) I'm good to go for 20 hours.

Sucks that our ancestors couldn't find a planet that was a better match.

Plants are really farming us, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire and turn into mulch which they can consume.

Oxygen is also harmful to Humans except in very defined doses so plants are also killing us slowly.

Aliens don't come here because they've seen the future (faster than light travel technology) and they're just waiting for us to kill ourselves off so they can have a nice planet.

I can overlook a lot when it comes to transwomen, but a square jaw and a thick brow really kill the vibe for me. It's a deal-breaker even if her dick is huge.

I wonder if Captains America, Marvel & Atom regret being locked into a certain military rank for the rest of their lives or if they consider the lack of upwards career mobility part of the sacrifice.

Rudolph should have flown a few leagues ahead to act as a mobile lighthouse, giving Santa time to react should there be any obstacles ahead.

There is a chance you ran over a vampire in your car, but you dismissed it because there was nothing in your rear view mirror.

I wonder how many times Disney has tried to buy Harry Potter rights from JK and WB? I mean that and maybe DC must be their last two infinity stones.

If you time travel to the past, use the bathroom, and time travel back there are two copies of the same matter in the universe until it catches up to the point where you went back.

But if you eat something and travel to the future there's a period of time where that matter doesn't exist.

Stuff like raspberry flavored candy is made out of weird shit like beaver anal glands, bugs, all kinds of crazy shit, right?

Who was the first person to think that beaver anal glands might have a use beyond what the beaver used them for, and who tasted them first?