question for the "pronoun people"

first off, no disrespect whatsoever is intended here. seriously.

if you're a male who identifies as female: cool. if you're a female who identifies as male: great. if you're either of the above and identify as a damn unicorn: awesome. anything can apply here.

but my question is- why do they care so much that their peers also identify them by their gender/pronoun of choice? why can't they just be content with the personal choice they've made and just leave it at that? why should other people be bashed for "assuming a gender"?

as long as YOU feel good about yourself, why give two shits what other people call you?

I don't like how you keep referring to me with the "you" pronoun.

I prefer "Royal Majesty, Supreme Awesome" Please redo your post but use the proper pronouns. I identify as a very successful and well-loved king.

😂 noted.

Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah
Some call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Maurice
'Cause I speak of the pompatus of love.

This guy keeps calling me Dave.

I never bothered correcting him. Bought him drinks at a bar a few times.

Yeah, the whole “assumed gender” bullshit is just shoved down people’s throats and assuming an imagined moral high ground. It’s really annoying to see my Twitter feed populated with these imagined “sleights” and “intolerance”.

Originally posted by DeadpoolXXX
first off, no disrespect whatsoever is intended here. seriously.

if you're a male who identifies as female: cool. if you're a female who identifies as male: great. if you're either of the above and identify as a damn unicorn: awesome. anything can apply here.

but my question is- why do they care so much that their peers also identify them by their gender/pronoun of choice? why can't they just be content with the personal choice they've made and just leave it at that? why should other people be bashed for "assuming a gender"?

as long as YOU feel good about yourself, why give two shits what other people call you?

Are you a man? Is being a man important to you? Is it important to you that others address you as a man? If someone said to you, "When I see you, I do not see a man, so I am not going to call you a man," how would you feel? Not calling someone something they do not want to be called is basic respect.

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
Are you a man? Is being a man important to you? Is it important to you that others address you as a man? If someone said to you, "When I see you, I do not see a man, so I am not going to call you a man," how would you feel? Not calling someone something they do not want to be called is basic respect.

So if Trump says he doesn't want to be called racist, it's disrespectful if people continue to do so, right?

Originally posted by Eon Blue
Yeah, the whole “assumed gender” bullshit is just shoved down people’s throats and assuming an imagined moral high ground. It’s really annoying to see my Twitter feed populated with these imagined “sleights” and “intolerance”.

honestly seems like people tend to dig for things to be angry about sometimes.

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
Are you a man? Is being a man important to you? Is it important to you that others address you as a man? If someone said to you, "When I see you, I do not see a man, so I am not going to call you a man," how would you feel? Not calling someone something they do not want to be called is basic respect.

i just dont get why some people feel the need to fixate so vehemently on making sure their peers use the "proper pronouns" towards them, and bash them if they get it wrong? who cares if someone misspeaks and doesnt call you by the gender you identify as? YOU being content and happy with the choices YOU made as an individual is all that should matter in the end. f*ck everyone else.

or at least thats how i see it. srug

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
Are you a man? Is being a man important to you? Is it important to you that others address you as a man? If someone said to you, "When I see you, I do not see a man, so I am not going to call you a man," how would you feel? Not calling someone something they do not want to be called is basic respect.

Maybe when I was 12 I'd get upset if someone called me a girl. But I grew out of that quite quickly. Perhaps by the time I was 14, if someone called me a f*g, gay, girl, wet-drip-vagina, it didn't offend me or bother me a bit.

But, in general, most people tend to grow out of getting extremely angry with labels and name calling.

However, not everyone does. That's part of what being an adult means: growing out of name calling or being offended by name calling.

I wouldn't want to cause offense to people I care about. People whose opinions I respect. So I call them by their preferred labels.

But, no, if someone called me a ma'am, I wouldn't care. Especially if it was someone I didn't know. But I don't count: I'm a mentally healthy individual. Of course I would think this way. Some people aren't. Which is why we should probably be careful with how we address people especially those we care about.

I call not getting offended with labels and name calling "mental health privilege." It's legit.

Originally posted by DeadpoolXXX
first off, no disrespect whatsoever is intended here. seriously.

if you're a male who identifies as female: cool. if you're a female who identifies as male: great. if you're either of the above and identify as a damn unicorn: awesome. anything can apply here.

but my question is- why do they care so much that their peers also identify them by their gender/pronoun of choice? why can't they just be content with the personal choice they've made and just leave it at that? why should other people be bashed for "assuming a gender"?

as long as YOU feel good about yourself, why give two shits what other people call you?

But after someone respectfully corrects your misgendering, it is unreasonable and disrespectful to then intentionally ignore their preferred pronouns and continue to knowingly misgender them.

As far as why trans people get upset about it it's because they are for example biologically male but identify as female for whatever reason, and people misgendering them reminds them of that fact. Not every trans woman looks like this:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dk5q08DVAAA3zJt.jpg

Don't worry it's not porn. But most can't pass that well and some, sadly, can't really pass at all.

if you know the gender someone identifies as and still insist on calling them the opposite gender, then ya, that's disrespectful and i guess i could see why it would upset someone.

but if you dont know that, say, a man is choosing to identify as a woman, and you call them "sir" out of (what you think is) respect, why should you be bashed for it?

i'll use "macho ma'am" as my example-

granted "she" is wearing girlish clothing, but if i saw "her" in a store, the word "ma'am" probably isn't the first thing that would come to mind. so if i misspoke and reflexively referred to that person as "sir" (not intentionally in a rude way mind you), why should i be shamed for it? i'm not a mind reader ffs, and my use of said pronoun was only intended to be respectful and courteous.

Originally posted by NemeBro
It is unreasonable to get angry for someone accidentally misgendering you sure.

But after someone respectfully corrects your misgendering, it is unreasonable and disrespectful to then intentionally ignore their preferred pronouns and continue to knowingly misgender them.

As far as why trans people get upset about it it's because they are for example biologically male but identify as female for whatever reason, and people misgendering them reminds them of that fact. Not every trans woman looks like this:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dk5q08DVAAA3zJt.jpg

Don't worry it's not porn. But most can't pass that well and some, sadly, can't really pass at all.

Wow, she definitely passes. And those hormones did wonders for her transition.

That probably pisses off a TON of transgender MtF and I actually feel sorry for their situation. Not everyone can be as blessed with those genes and outcome like that gal you posted.

I think it's easier for women to transition. Mostly because of the facial and body hair growth, deepening of the voice, masculinization of the face, and better musculature. Beautiful women generally become handsome men - the universe does not have justice. 🙂

Originally posted by DeadpoolXXX
if you know the gender someone identifies as and still insist on calling them the opposite gender, then ya, that's disrespectful and i guess i could see why it would upset someone.

but if you dont know that, say, a man is choosing to identify as a woman, and you call them "sir" out of (what you think is) respect, why should you be bashed for it?

i'll use "macho ma'am" as my example-

granted "she" is wearing girlish clothing, but if i saw "her" in a store, the word "ma'am" probably isn't the first thing that would come to mind. so if i misspoke and reflexively referred to that person as "sir" (not intentionally in a rude way mind you), why should i be shamed for it? i'm not a mind reader ffs, and my use of said pronoun was only intended to be respectful and courteous.

In this case, I'd probably ask first. It's quite obvious she wants to identify as a woman. Convo is easy:

Me: "How may I address you?"
her: "Ma'am."
Me: "Thanks for that. Get the f*ck out of my Gamestop, Ma'am, or I'm calling the cops."

Originally posted by dadudemon
Wow, she definitely passes. And those hormones did wonders for her transition.

That probably pisses off a TON of transgender MtF and I actually feel sorry for their situation. Not everyone can be as blessed with those genes and outcome like that gal you posted.

I think it's easier for women to transition. Mostly because of the facial and body hair growth, deepening of the voice, masculinization of the face, and better musculature. Beautiful women generally become handsome men - the universe does not have justice. 🙂

I'd say there's some truth to the idea that FtM has an easier time passing. A buddy of mine is FtM and although has either not started or just started taking hormones (I'm not sure because I can't see him IRL because his immune system is very heavily compromised and if he caught COVID he would die) he has been presenting as male for a while now and just looks like a somewhat pretty boy. People who didn't know him when he presented as female (albeit still masculine, a soft butch lesbian at the time) do often refer to him by male pronouns. And that's before hormones.

There are some MtF that really have a rough time of it passing, and hopefully medical technology gets to the point that they can make that transition much more smoothly.

Originally posted by dadudemon
Maybe when I was 12 I'd get upset if someone called me a girl. But I grew out of that quite quickly. Perhaps by the time I was 14, if someone called me a f*g, gay, girl, wet-drip-vagina, it didn't offend me or bother me a bit.

But, in general, most people tend to grow out of getting extremely angry with labels and name calling.

However, not everyone does. That's part of what being an adult means: growing out of name calling or being offended by name calling.

I wouldn't want to cause offense to people I care about. People whose opinions I respect. So I call them by their preferred labels.

But, no, if someone called me a ma'am, I wouldn't care. Especially if it was someone I didn't know. But I don't count: I'm a mentally healthy individual. Of course I would think this way. Some people aren't. Which is why we should probably be careful with how we address people especially those we care about.

I call not getting offended with labels and name calling "mental health privilege." It's legit.

Bingo bango.

Originally posted by DeadpoolXXX
if you know the gender someone identifies as and still insist on calling them the opposite gender, then ya, that's disrespectful and i guess i could see why it would upset someone.

but if you dont know that, say, a man is choosing to identify as a woman, and you call them "sir" out of (what you think is) respect, why should you be bashed for it?

i'll use "macho ma'am" as my example-

granted "she" is wearing girlish clothing, but if i saw "her" in a store, the word "ma'am" probably isn't the first thing that would come to mind. so if i misspoke and reflexively referred to that person as "sir" (not intentionally in a rude way mind you), why should i be shamed for it? i'm not a mind reader ffs, and my use of said pronoun was only intended to be respectful and courteous.

Been a long time since I've been to a GameStop.

I've ran into a few awkward situations at my job.

The gender tab in the charting program we use only has "biological male" or "biological female" options, and you HAVE TO select one or the other -- IOW, I have to know their birth gender, and identify them as such in our medical system. I've ran into several people now who currently identify as female, but they were born male. A few of them have gotten legitimately pissed at me for even asking that question(as though I'm just asking for the lulz.)

Like Nem said: many MtF/FtM have worked really hard to get where they are(physically, psychologically, and financially), so emphasizing their "birth gender" to any extent can potentially open up old wounds, so I get why some find misgendering offensive.

Originally posted by Galan007
I've ran into a few awkward situations at my job.

The gender tab in the charting program we use only has "biological male" or "biological female" options, and you HAVE TO select one or the other -- IOW, I have to know their birth gender, and identify them as such in our medical system. I've ran into several people now who currently identify as female, but they were born male. A few of them have gotten legitimately pissed at me for even asking that question(as though I'm just asking for the lulz.)

Like Nem said: many MtF/FtM have worked really hard to get where they are(physically, psychologically, and financially), so emphasizing their "birth gender" to any extent can potentially open up old wounds, so I get why some find misgendering offensive.

Take heart: this is covered in their therapy sessions when they begin the transitioning process. They are counseled that in some parts of their life, they WILL have to come to grips with their birth sex such as the doctor's office, ER, etc.

The fact that they get upset with you has nothing to do with you and only to do with them not actually paying attention or outright ignoring to very important counseling they received when transitioning.

Edit - You probably already know all of this but others may not.