Hell got loads of these but can't think unless I'm in the situation so here's a few.
Ordering Popadoms in an Indian restaurant ask for 'puppy dogs' they never question. This can be used for other things like ask for 'lampshades' instead of lamb steaks at a butcher, the butcher will actually just give you them or say pardon, at which point you repeat slower with lamb steaks.
If there is some one who is annoying I say to whoever is with me 'One gun, one bullet, no <insert name>' - I don't actually say <insert name> though.
'I resemble that' if someone says something bad about me that I should say I resent that.
When passing hay fields or trucks carrying hay I point at the hay and say 'Hay, look'.
Catch Phrases
"Nothing wrong with that"
Normally used after someone has stated something odd that someone else has done.
For Example if someone says:
"My neighbor was outside in his front yard naked washing his car Sunday"
to this you could reply:
"Hey," In a slightly defensive yet upbeat tone "Nothing wrong with that."
P.S. Make sure who you are saying this to knows it is a joke. Otherwise you will appear just as crazy as the person they are speaking of.