In my experience it isn't good to live with anyone you date. I would imagine, ideally, that you'd want to date someone for a while, live together on a short term basis at one or the others place and then decide to live together. My last boyfriend and I kinda jumped into living together and it was the worst idea possible. We dated for a year, lived together for six months and now can't see each other without spitting fire...it was one of those passionate rlationships that thrived off of arguing and sex and a mutual disrespect and mistrust of one another. Now, I'm more cautious entering relationships. My current boyfriend and I get along wonderfully. Never argue, discuss things when we don't agree and reach a healthy and mutual agreement. We really seem to be perfect for each other.
Actually, IMO, it's not about "knowing someone better" but "getting to know their 'bad side' as well". Surely you can't judge a person only by the way he reacts when fighting!
It's only that this is the last thing we learn about others (unless you start fighting from the first day you meet 😛 which, in that case, you still don't know the other 'cause you've only just fighted with him -he might turn out to be a really nice person after all).
All in all, to say you really know someone, you should have seen how they react to all kinds of situations -not only when you fight.
I agree 100%-you DON'T know the person until you fight them.
About 1990 or so I tried as hard as I could to get a date with this girl, as I just broke up with someone else, and my loneliness finally paid off, and led me to 3 years of the nastiest fights ever.
And she always talked about me behind my back to her little ***** friends during her coffee clotches at the bowling alley-and then she started listening to them instead of making her own decisions, and soon everything about me wasn't good enough.
Our first fight led to several over the 3 years, in which she would never stop during an argument-she would go on and on and on until I was ready to bust from the aggravation, and she used every chance to embarrass me or put me down in front of her friends.
And when I didn't buy her something it was an excuse to skin me and hang me to dry..she was taking her home life out onme because the mother and father always fought over money.
And she also used to piss all over me because I refused to go to Atlantic city and spend 200-300 bucks on slot machinies.
She wanted material wealth, and I was the enemy because I couldn't give it to her. And thenshe would start on me and never shut up until I popped, and then I was the enemy when I did.
I don't know why I held on for 3 years, maybe I thought there was hope. My blood pressure was very high because of the fighting, and after a month of not being around her it actually went back to normal. I could have been doing other things in that 3 year period but as usual, held on in quite desparation thill the day I could no longer. Stupid me.
“Fighting” people is about boundaries. Both emotionally, physically and mentally.
When I “fight” people (mostly mentally, but it has gotten physical at a few occasions), it will be the result of either of us having stepped over the others’ “limit”.
Of course it’s possible to know people, and never run head first into their “limits”, but it’s not the case with everyone.
yea but there is a difference between a discussion and an arguement imo
and discussion are healthy cause they show mutual respect where arguements do not (but that's my opinion) I have friends with who I have had very good discussions but never had any arguements cause we have a lot of mutual respect