Edward Cullen vs Russell Edgington
Russell decides he's had enough with that Edward guy giving vampires a bad name and calls him out to a fight.
Russell is from True Blood(some HBO series that has fans or something), is very fast apparently, can fly, and has some super strength.
Edward Cullen is from some crappy books(and movies, but book feats take precedence) and can read minds, and has super speed/strength.
Battle takes place...
Here. And it's to the death. The moon is staying in place to observe the lulz that will transpire.