Dark, you have improved greatly. Giving importance to each emotions... But still i think yu shud have written a bit more regarding the talk between Voldemort and Severus. Some new secrets getting revealed etc etc...
Gender: Female Location: running down the street naked! ;)
sounds great to mei like how you just got into it, at this point in the story theres no time for filler you have to start going the last book should be the most intence of them all. your doing very well D.
That was good dark!!! Write more of both of your stories!! you are starting to sound just like J.K.Rowling[writing wise]
__________________ "So one time at bible camp we made a flow chart... it cant be proven or anything but god created man, and man created transformers...so transformers are like...A gift from God!" Elias ClerksII
Lord Voldemort stood with his back to the quivering figure near the door. Malfoy immediately flung himself on his face before his lord.
Voldemort did not immediately speak, but slowly paced about. Draco dared not look up, instead contenting himself with the swish of his cloak; the footsteps slient. Still, Draco could feel the Dark Lord's penetrating gaze pierce his skin like a needle.
Finally, he spoke. "So. From what Severus has informed me of, it was he who destroyed the chief Mudblood, Draco. Not you. You have failed me."
Draco trembled violently, his knees beating a tremor against the aged, dusty wood. However, he did not speak, sensing that this was not the correct time.
Voldemort turned, the robbs stopped right in front of Draco's face. "And what have you to say for yourself, Draco?"
"My Lord," Draco croaked lamely. "I am.....so sorry..."
"I see." Voldemort said icily. "You are sorry."
"Despite your...personal failure, shall we call it....the overall goal was a success. Dumbledore is dead. And that is the reason why I have decided to spare you."
Malfoy breathed again.
"However, you have not answered me this yet; why did you hesitate? There was the most glorious chance in the world; he was defenceless, at your feet, and yet you could not bring yourself to kill him. Why?"
"I - I was scared, my lord..."
"Scared of what?" Voldemort said quietly. "His corpse falling on you?"
Draco chose not to answer. The Dark Lord sighed, almost as if he were a chastising parent. "You fear condemnnation. Do not try to hide your thoughts, Draco, for you already know that I am the greatest Legilimens this world has ever known." He abruptly changed the subject.
"Do you know where we are, Draco? What this place was?"
"No, my Lord." Draco said, confused.
"This is where my uncle committed his first murder," Voldemort said. "He did it for fun. Killed seven Muggles. An entire family; no one was spared, not even the children."
Malfoy remained silent.
"The Muggle police fools came. Of course, they could never find out who did it. There were tales spread that the seven ghosts haunted the house. Even if one was brave enough to confront these so called spirits of the dead, they would not have lived three days after, such was the cursing ability of my uncle. Thus, he was branded the murderer, but no one could ever prove he did it. Both the magical and Muggle communities hated him. Do not speak of condemnation or fear to me, Draco, for you have known precious little of either....yet."
He raised his wand. "And now...a little reminder of why you do not fail Lord Voldemort."
Draco's screams were lost in the mansion. But the Dark Lord's ability was so much more accomplished than that of his uncle; no one outside the old, auburn mansion heard so much as a whisper.