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Home » Misc » Artwork Forum » Poetry Corner » A Broken Heart Is Hard To Heal

What Is Your Rating On My Poems
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Kick Ass 2 22.22%
I Like Em 2 22.22%
Good Could Use A Little Work 4 44.44%
Ok 0 0%
I Hate Em They Suck 1 11.11%
Total: 9 votes 100%
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A Broken Heart Is Hard To Heal
Started by: SouthernGirl814

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Weeping Fairy
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: listening to music

haha.... dont b, i was just messin around... it wasnt that bad of a musical.... luckily i love cats... so i wont hold a grudge


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Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 04:44 AM
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SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine

Gender: Female
Location: United States

Ok Ok Now Back 2 Writing and Poems

Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 04:47 AM
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Weeping Fairy
Senior Member

Gender: Female
Location: listening to music

post some more, and ill comment on poems, but til then...... we shall talk.... somewhere else


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Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 04:48 AM
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SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine

Gender: Female
Location: United States

Retrained
Hurt and scared my hearts restrained
By a steel cold hard chain
The chain blocks the way of what could be
It's halfway broken but thats from me
The other half must be torn by him
But the chances of that are very dim
I cry and bleed for him to break the chain
One day he'll do it very fain
Til then I wait depressed and restrained
On my heart by that cold steel chain

How do u guys like this one make suggestions ppl

Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 01:15 PM
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Immortality
Such a hateful world...

Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek

What dya mena by 'one day nhe'll do it very fain'? I don't get it, apart from that it's ok.
Still hangin onto rhyming I see?


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Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 01:25 PM
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SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine

Gender: Female
Location: United States

well im workin on not rhymin but yea in that one it rhymes but 2 do it very fain is 2 do it very glady or happily

Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 01:42 PM
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SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine

Gender: Female
Location: United States

Anger Depression Sadness
Will he ever love me
Confusion Heartbreak Lies
Does he notice me at all
Forgiveness Pain Wondering
How can he still let me fall
Hatred Suffering Goodbyes
Why can't he see my true feelings
Restraint Chains Darkness
How can he keep my heart locked up inside
Blood Sharpness Falling
Now I say my final goodbyes

Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 02:30 PM
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SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine

Gender: Female
Location: United States

I tried somthing a little new I think it kinda sucks but its up 2 u guys

Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 02:31 PM
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Immortality
Such a hateful world...

Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek

I think it's great, I love the whole wording thing, you know, three seperate words that reflect a dark emotion after every few lines, keep it up!


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Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 02:58 PM
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SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine

Gender: Female
Location: United States

Thx I was kinda nervous 2 do that but thx immortality

Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 03:27 PM
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Immortality
Such a hateful world...

Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek

No probs, I'm sooooo bored, any more poems?


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Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 03:40 PM
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SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine

Gender: Female
Location: United States

umm idk I gotta write em lol and I'm bored 2 so I guess I'll write sum more

Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 04:19 PM
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Immortality
Such a hateful world...

Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek

Cool, look forward to readin more!


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Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 04:38 PM
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SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine

Gender: Female
Location: United States

Falling
Falling hard down a deep crevase
Not knowing when I'm going to hit
Hoping he will be there to catch me
Darkest of night can't see the bottom
Wondering if I'll live or die
Crying in pain calling for help
No one can save me now
Ready to give up and land
Feeling closer and closer to death
Seeing the bottom ready to say goodbye
Waking up in a cold sweat
Never knowing if I was saved or not
Grabing the covers hiding my face
Crying in fear and pain
Waiting another night to face my fate

Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 05:16 PM
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Immortality
Such a hateful world...

Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek

Cool, nice one! Man, this guy in your poems sounds like a real bastard. Is it based on somebody real or is it just a random 'he'?
Nice rhythm, also no use of punctuation, which adds to the effect, very good! (Oh God! I'm starting to sound like a teacher!)


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Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 05:31 PM
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SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine

Gender: Female
Location: United States

Well hes not that bad but sumtimes he just confuses me and yea its based on a real guy thx

Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 05:37 PM
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Immortality
Such a hateful world...

Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek

Yeah I got that, still cool.


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Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 05:38 PM
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SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine

Gender: Female
Location: United States

thx

Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 05:40 PM
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Immortality
Such a hateful world...

Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek

hmm, bored?


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Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 05:46 PM
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SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine

Gender: Female
Location: United States

yea bored

Old Post Dec 17th, 2006 06:09 PM
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