 |
What Is Your Rating On My Poems
You do not have permission to vote on this poll. |
| Kick Ass |
   |
2 |
22.22% |
| I Like Em |
   |
2 |
22.22% |
| Good Could Use A Little Work |
   |
4 |
44.44% |
| Ok |
   |
0 |
0% |
| I Hate Em They Suck |
   |
1 |
11.11% |
| Total: |
9 votes |
100% |
|
| |
|
Weeping Fairy
Senior Member
 Gender: Female
Location: listening to music |
haha.... dont b, i was just messin around... it wasnt that bad of a musical.... luckily i love cats... so i wont hold a grudge 
__________________
VISIT MY MYSPACE!! http://www.myspace.com/dancin_in_the_rain715
|
Dec 17th, 2006 04:44 AM |
|
|
| |
|
SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine
 Gender: Female
Location: United States |
Ok Ok Now Back 2 Writing and Poems
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 04:47 AM |
|
|
| |
|
SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine
Gender: Female
Location: United States |
Retrained
Hurt and scared my hearts restrained
By a steel cold hard chain
The chain blocks the way of what could be
It's halfway broken but thats from me
The other half must be torn by him
But the chances of that are very dim
I cry and bleed for him to break the chain
One day he'll do it very fain
Til then I wait depressed and restrained
On my heart by that cold steel chain
How do u guys like this one make suggestions ppl
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 01:15 PM |
|
|
| |
|
Immortality
Such a hateful world...
 Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek |
What dya mena by 'one day nhe'll do it very fain'? I don't get it, apart from that it's ok.
Still hangin onto rhyming I see?
__________________
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 01:25 PM |
|
|
| |
|
SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine
Gender: Female
Location: United States |
well im workin on not rhymin but yea in that one it rhymes but 2 do it very fain is 2 do it very glady or happily
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 01:42 PM |
|
|
| |
|
SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine
Gender: Female
Location: United States |
Anger Depression Sadness
Will he ever love me
Confusion Heartbreak Lies
Does he notice me at all
Forgiveness Pain Wondering
How can he still let me fall
Hatred Suffering Goodbyes
Why can't he see my true feelings
Restraint Chains Darkness
How can he keep my heart locked up inside
Blood Sharpness Falling
Now I say my final goodbyes
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 02:30 PM |
|
|
| |
|
SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine
Gender: Female
Location: United States |
I tried somthing a little new I think it kinda sucks but its up 2 u guys
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 02:31 PM |
|
|
| |
|
Immortality
Such a hateful world...
Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek |
I think it's great, I love the whole wording thing, you know, three seperate words that reflect a dark emotion after every few lines, keep it up!
__________________
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 02:58 PM |
|
|
| |
|
SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine
Gender: Female
Location: United States |
Thx I was kinda nervous 2 do that but thx immortality
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 03:27 PM |
|
|
| |
|
Immortality
Such a hateful world...
Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek |
No probs, I'm sooooo bored, any more poems?
__________________
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 03:40 PM |
|
|
| |
|
SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine
Gender: Female
Location: United States |
umm idk I gotta write em lol and I'm bored 2 so I guess I'll write sum more
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 04:19 PM |
|
|
| |
|
Immortality
Such a hateful world...
Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek |
Cool, look forward to readin more!
__________________
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 04:38 PM |
|
|
| |
|
SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine
Gender: Female
Location: United States |
Falling
Falling hard down a deep crevase
Not knowing when I'm going to hit
Hoping he will be there to catch me
Darkest of night can't see the bottom
Wondering if I'll live or die
Crying in pain calling for help
No one can save me now
Ready to give up and land
Feeling closer and closer to death
Seeing the bottom ready to say goodbye
Waking up in a cold sweat
Never knowing if I was saved or not
Grabing the covers hiding my face
Crying in fear and pain
Waiting another night to face my fate
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 05:16 PM |
|
|
| |
|
Immortality
Such a hateful world...
Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek |
Cool, nice one! Man, this guy in your poems sounds like a real bastard. Is it based on somebody real or is it just a random 'he'?
Nice rhythm, also no use of punctuation, which adds to the effect, very good! (Oh God! I'm starting to sound like a teacher!)
__________________
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 05:31 PM |
|
|
| |
|
SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine
Gender: Female
Location: United States |
Well hes not that bad but sumtimes he just confuses me and yea its based on a real guy thx
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 05:37 PM |
|
|
| |
|
Immortality
Such a hateful world...
Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek |
Yeah I got that, still cool.
__________________
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 05:38 PM |
|
|
| |
|
SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine
Gender: Female
Location: United States |
thx
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 05:40 PM |
|
|
| |
|
Immortality
Such a hateful world...
Gender: Female
Location: Up Shit Creek |
hmm, bored?
__________________
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 05:46 PM |
|
|
| |
|
SouthernGirl814
Why Can't He Be Mine
Gender: Female
Location: United States |
yea bored
|
|
Dec 17th, 2006 06:09 PM |
|
|
| |
Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is OFF
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
|
|
Text-only version |
|
|
KMC Community Forums
