he was the self-destructive captain ahab who got his own troops killed (and quinn's village) hunting his arch nemesis. but he was dumber than ahab since he was only hunting the females (which he confessed to be a pointless venture).
however he did have ripped abs, sexy tattoos, and a tight muscly ass, as quan will testify.
__________________ "Your Lord knows very well what is in your heart. Your soul suffices this day as a reckoner against you. I need no witnesses. You do not listen to your soul, but listen instead to your anger and your rage."
And ever you need to hear a really good totally-over-compensatory grunt or a roar totally concocted to distract people from noticing his naturally effeminate ways and his deep need to straddle guys whilst beating his chest, Van Zan's your guy.
(Also if you need really good fertiliser for your lawn.)
Gender: Male Location: 4th Street Underpass, Manhattan
I am heavily doubtful Van Zan fertilizer could even grow a blade of grass. The instructions probably tell you to pour salt on your plants instead of water.
Gender: Male Location: 4th Street Underpass, Manhattan
I wonder how many people Van Zan would sacrifice to take on the woodchipper. I could imagine the scene
Van Zan: I'm taking your child! He's going to climb into the woodchipper and disable it from the inside. Mother: No! He'll get shredded! I keep telling you! There's a damn off switch! Van Zan: Listen bytch! I DO NOT GO WITH THE MOST LOGICAL SOLUTION! Now give me the kid! He's going in!
The kid, his pet hamster, and several of his favorite toys..anyone from his street..the postman who delivers to his house, the postman's wife, the postman's wife's brother whom hasn't seen them in 3 years... the postman's wife's brother whom hasn't seen them in 3 years' goldfish called 'Ned'
Gender: Male Location: 4th Street Underpass, Manhattan
It would be like a black hole. Van Zan would sacrifice everyone on Earth into the woodchipper, and then start sacrificing all extraterrestrial life. Not even the Q Continuum would be safe. Eventually only himself will remain in the omniverse, and having exhausted all other options against such an insurmountable foe as the woodchipper, he'll have no choice to make one final dive, for the good of humanity.
__________________ "Your Lord knows very well what is in your heart. Your soul suffices this day as a reckoner against you. I need no witnesses. You do not listen to your soul, but listen instead to your anger and your rage."
they were also "saved" when van zan burned down the chicken coop.
__________________ "Your Lord knows very well what is in your heart. Your soul suffices this day as a reckoner against you. I need no witnesses. You do not listen to your soul, but listen instead to your anger and your rage."
Now if the other one would stop attempting to drown himself in the Lubricants of Khan and Van Zan* to the forum's constant negative detriment we'd be set.
*whilst being illogically angry at Van Zan winning here via a genuinely heroic, redeeming use of his natural rage quit skills as he dives into the chipper, eventually destroying it** along with himself.
** Well maybe partly dulling a blade or two, necessitating that it/they be sharpened
__________________
"Van Zan is the Pinocchio of feces." - Lestov16
Last edited by Sadako of Girth on Oct 16th, 2013 at 11:28 AM
__________________ "Your Lord knows very well what is in your heart. Your soul suffices this day as a reckoner against you. I need no witnesses. You do not listen to your soul, but listen instead to your anger and your rage."
KMC Community Forums
Oct 7th, 2013 12:11 PM
