Joke Time [Merged]

Started by diegocala44 pages

"P.E.T.S" has been notified about your joke shadow 😛

lol these are wuite funny.
Ive got one, a cheese sadiwch walks into a bar and asks for a pint of guiness the barman turned to him and said "Sorry we don't serve food." lol.

😂

lol.

Originally posted by shadow_angel
There are two sausages in a frying pan...one turns to the other and says, "Holy f*ck its hot in here!" The other says, "Holy f*ck a talking sausage!!
Haha (alot of people won't find this funny)😛

heheh, lol. i heard a similar one to that.

I got one!

A guy is walking down the street and sees a strange sight: 2 funeral caridges, a man walking a rotwiller, and 200 men in single file beind him.

The guys walks up to the man and says "whats going on"? The man says, "This dog mauled me wife nd mother-in-law to death. I'm on my way to the funeral." The guy gets an idea, "Hey, my wife is lying to me and cheating on me, can I borrow your dog?" The man says, "Get in line."

heheh... that was bad wasn't it? I got a better one but I cant post it, its to sexual.

post it...

The sausage one's kind of lame... but funny. I actually chuckeled today! "HACHACHKC" <my chuckle Try saying that, it's awesome.

I have another one...
An englishman and irishman and a scotsman are sitting on a train when they see a cow in a field. The enlishman says:"thats an english cow." the irishman says:"Thats an irish cow." the scotsman says:"thats a scottish cow, coz i can see its bagpipes." LOL

heheh...

anymore krueger? the funeral one was funny.
I used to have millions (compliments of my grampa willie) but i cant remember half of them...
Oh wait ive got one my pal chris told me...
right a man was walking down the street when he sees a sh*t on the ground. he says to him self, "looks like sh*t, smells like sh*t, TASTES like sh*t, thank F**k I didnt stand on it." lol bad huh.

A chap goes to the doctor complaining that he's got a lettuce growing out of his arse.

"Ooooh, it doesn't luck good sir, no no no!", says the doctor.

"Why's that doc?", asks the man.

"Well sir, its the tip of the iceburg".

A piece of string walked into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman asks, "I'm sorry, are you a piece of string?"
The piece f string, who is a well brought up piece of strng, always tells the truth, says "yes" and is asked to leave.
He walks outside, ties himself in a knot and pulls his hair until it frays.

He walks back in, and is aske the same question. "No," he replies. "I'm a frayed knot."

((get it? a frayed knot = afraid not))

Originally posted by diegocala
post it...

ok.
Anyone oriental don't get offended, I don't know any asian language so I'm just riting anything and saying its asian, just so you know.

~~~
A dude sees a asian hooker and picks her up. They go back to his place to have sex. While having she's shouting "Hekonomo!" over and over again. After the have sex she leaves. He thinks that hekonomo must mean something good.

The next day he's playing golf with his asian friend, he gets a hole in one and shouts "Hekonomo!!" His asian friend looks confused and says, "What do you mean you got it in the wrong hole?"
~~~

Heheh 😛

this is an over done and stupid one, any natural blondes, don't gey offended 🙂

2 blondes walk into a building think one of them would have seen it...

bad huh?

Q: What does Hannibal Lecter call Britney Spears?

A: Dinner at Hooters.

hope no one minds that i post redneck jokes!

you know you're a redneck when you are too drunk to fish.

you know you are a redneck when you think the last line to amercia's anthem is: gentlemen! start your engines!

you know you are a redneck when your date faints, you yell "hoe down!"

😂😂😂lmao lmao

Redneck jokes own!!!

Why do dogs lick their balls?

Why do they?