Random Comments

Huh, if Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader.

Bears dont use toilet paper, and mermaids dont drink coffee.

To look at the chicken population, you'd think they were one of the most successful species on the planet.

I finally found my path in life. Socio.

When you see a turtle sitting in a tree, thats when you take notice of your surroundings.

Freddie, fingered, then came.

Its not that he's doing something right, to get a girl like her, it's that she's doing something wrong.

'Good morning, President Mondale' said on one ever.

Some fathers teach their kids how hit a to baseball.
Mine taught me how to beat a cavity search and still feel like a lady.

If you expect a dog to bite you, you'll be happy when it doesnt poop on your shoes.

You know how I told you people trust me with their money?
They shoudnt. I embezzled from my clients.

We need love most when we're at our most unlovable.

In Texas, the Holy Trinity is God, football, and barbecue. Not always in that order.

They called him The King, and rightfully so. If there was a bigger word than that i'd give it to him.

Get off the cross. We need the wood.

Canadian dicks.
Mexican criminals are so much more courteous, till they make you dig your own grave.

Its not tipping i believe in, its OVER tipping.

Being good should be harder than being bad.

Its apples and oranges. There's a fetish for that, too.

AR! There's the squid that ate me pancreas!