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Stewart's comic shop on big bang theory...i wonder why its not more popular.

How many bad words are there? Like, 4 big ones. Then 12 different words for butt.

Hell yes i believe in Bigfoot.

No i will not forgive & forget, mister gives me a rectal exam and then tells me he's a dentist.

Meeting the Vice President of Switzerland is not something you easily forget.
Or admit to.

If its not healthy to hold in your pee, i cant imagine its healthy to hold in a baby.

How we care changes over time. That we care never should.

Livin' like Larry!

I have a very simple philosophy. What you shove up your ass is your own business. Shut up.

The goal as one grows up is to get better at making better choices.

Its really not as hard as Lithuanians make it seem, like, all the time.

Technically speaking, its pretty simple.

The most outrageous way to win $67.00.

Sex with him was like being stuck in an elevator. That damn alarm just wouldnt shut off, and wound up giving her a headache.

Aaaah, water. Like drinking wet air!

Oh HELL yes!

I dont think he ever really meant to drink the shiny.

Time. Patience. Cinnamon rolls. Things people run out of.

Its pretty interesting when a shelf is not even slightly crooked.