I did not want to sound needy so I just played it cool.
I’m in your tub.
No take backs. Bye!
And so i said, i said...
...yes, please!
But HOW can it be my childhood bedroom...
...if i still live here?
Your most recent texts are to someone at...
NASA?
The Weston New Hampshire minor league hockey commissioner?
And...Steph Curry?
Dude!
I’m so glad we came to this Gentile strip club!
If we’re calling in cousins?
Cousins who are overweight?
Prepare for shock and awe.
Oh, you can read auras.
I thought for a moment you were a nipple whisperer.
No matter what happens i’m not returning these shorts.
I already ripped out the liner.