The Most Exciting Event of the Year!

And that just proves my point! It ruined her singing career!

But it springboarded her showbiz career!

But i dont want a showbiz career! Besides, one out of several hundred competetors is not a good statistic!

In denial? Never mind, the truth will out...

Let's see how this year's brave young girl does for the UK... quite WHY she entered is beyond most of us, I feel.

Well, it's started... courtesy of our Danish friends... I'm actually a little more busy than I though I would be, but I'll try to check back with important updates!

'Pert, but not a winner' says our dear commentator Terry Wogan about the Dutch entry...

Ok, the Latvian entry has confused the heck out of me...

Well,just to make our life worse they inflcited the bloody Barbie girl song on us as well...

Phone lines are closed! Results soon!

Well, at this point the countries represented on this board are doing TERRIBLY. The Netherlands just got off the mark with a grateful five points, the UK has been languishing on two points from the start, and Norway hasn't scored yet.

Meanwhile, Estonia of all places leads with 42 points. Denmark is just behind with 41, then it's France with 33

Well, it;s not been a good night. The UK and Netherlands have at least registered, the poor Norwegians don't appear to be picking up much. The vcitory run is a two-horse race bewteen Estonia and Denmark (who would pull off a rare defence of the title... but it looks like Estonia will have it)

FOr a moment, it looks like we would have the amusing situation of Ireland striking out, but they have now scored. Iceland look like this years wooden spoon winners.

Are the Swedes STILL in Abba mode?

You know the Frdnch refused to take part one year for the ridiculous reason that they thought the whole thing was a monument to poor-quality music? Odd people. That or geniuses... but they came back next year, so go figure.

Asn predicted, Estonia won and Iceland come last with just one point.

Estonia? What the heck... they'll have to HOLD it there next year now... oh dear...

Oh my god! You sad sad SAD individual! Its bad enough that you watch it religiously but to give running commentry is just far beyond the rhealms of obsession! So sad!

Ush I always miss the ironic nature of everything! Remember? I'malways making myself look stupid because I dont see people's jokes! Thats what makes me me! So what did I miss this time? Please! Enlighten me!

Look at the subtext of what I was saying at the start. It is clear that I hate the bloody thing as much as anyone. The whole thing was an amusement.

Subtext Shmubtext! Do I ever look at subtext? NO! Do I even know what subtext is? NO! Big words again! Its all just big words!

Subtext isn't very big! Marmalade is longer...

Yes and Mike is an even smaller word with an unbelievably huge ego!

For using the word 'subtext'? Blimey, you're the one who is going to be a Doctor, and there are plenty of NON-Latin derived long medical words...

Wow, thanks Mike for the A-grade commentary....really made my day!