Adult Version Of Harry Potter

"HARRY POTHEAD AND THE STONED PHILOSOPHER"

At SmokeSport's School of Crack(craft) and Whizz(ardry)

CHARACTERS:

Harry Pothead
Hermione Ganja
Ronald Weedley
Professor SmokeSummore (Dumbledore)
Professor IveDun'EmAll (McGonogall)
Professor Slate (Snape)
Hagrid and Bong (Fang)

HOUSES:

Spliffindor
HubblyPuff
RavenDraw
BaccyTin

Transfiguration - Turn Drugs into Dosh
Potions - How to prepare your cache of substances
Charms - How to conceal your stash
Defence Against The Dark Arts - How to escape the sodding police
Divination - Understanding the highs, and dealing with the lows
History of Magic - The Building of the very first Spliff
Herbology - How to Grow Your Own

Our story begins at dusk, just as our heroes, Harry, Ron and Hermione leave their final class for the day, History Of Magic.
"Woah man..." drawled Harry, "that was, like, as boring as ever!"
"Yeah dude," replied Ron, "Why do we need to know how the first spliff was created? It's not like we dunno how to build 'em!"

Lol nice story 😂

yea the characters names were funny

A small sigh from just behind them made Harry turn slowly. Hermione was rolling her eyes, and a huge six skin with her wand.
"You guys....." she smiled serenely, "Don't you like, appreciate how the first came into being? You just seem to have gotten used to the idea that the good stuff was always here, but it wasn't. You guys gotta look back into the past for a deeper understanding of this gift."
She grinned again and looked at Harry, who noticed her eyes had turned large and glassy.
Hermione stuck the joint between her plump juicy lips and Harry lit it with his wand, winking at her as he did so. She took a large drag, and green smoke curled out of her nostrils.
"mmmmm" Harry murmered, "that is sooo sexy".
Ron gave him a disgusted look and they all stopped once they got to the entrance to the dorms.

so...is this like a porn novel. C0z this is g00d stuff. Sorry, go on...

Ron scratche his head and blinked slowly a few times.
"um, what's the password man?"
"Out of my way," said Hermione, the spliff still between her lips.
She dug in her pocket and pulled out a twenty, slipped it to the portait and the picture swung forward.
Harry looked mildly impressed.
Hermione shrugged and said "I can afford it, I got a stash in Greenhouse three. It saves me remembering that stupid password every time i wanna get in here!"
They all stepped thru the hole in the wall, and a wonderful sight greeted them. Fred and George were sitting either side of a large coffee table, upon which was balanced a mirror. George sat back from what he was doing and rubbed his nose, sniffing loudly.
"heeeeyyyy guuyyys!" he smiled oddly at the three who had just entered. "What's that you got there doll face?" he asked Hermione, eyes on the merrily smoking spliff in her hand.

Good so far 🙂

yea

if this gets banned, promise you'll PM me the rest of the story. I once made a HP "soft"-porn novel once last year. Only finished a couple of chapters tho.

"what's it look like, crack head?" she replied flirtatiously. She walked over to George and sat gently on his lap, placing the joint in his mouth. He inhaled deeply and put his hand on Hermione's knee.
"Honey," he breathed, "ur the bomb!"
Fred, meanwhile, had leaned forward again and was about to snort the meter long line in front of him when Harry stepped forward.
"hang on a minute, what about me?"
Fred looked up at his pal Lee, who shrugged and placed a huge rock on the miror. fred set about cutting it, looking up at George and Hermione every now again and smiling. They were sucking face so bad it was beginning to look like an amateur porn movie.
Ron had collapsed on the dorm floor and was staring up at the ceiling.
"It's like, the ceiling is moving man..." he said dopily.
"That's because it is dufus, it's bewitched to look that way!" Parvarti smiled gently ay him as she sat down and put his head on her lap.

*I'VE NEVER WRITTEN THIS OUT BEFORE. IT'S COMING STRAIGHT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD RIGHT NOW! BUT THANX FOR THE COMPLIMENTS! THE ONLY THINGS I STARTED WITH WERE THE CHARACTERS AND THE HOUSE NAMES, AND THAT WAS AGES AGO, I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF WRITING IT UP FOR PUBLIC VIEWING.*

oh man! This is niiiiiiiice!

yea its cool

Its good for a story out of your head! 😄

"ow! jesus, that is some goood shiiit!" Harry had just sucked the whole line up his left nostril, as had Fred, and both their noses were now bleeding slightly. But they leaned back on their chairs, looking hugely satisfied, and grinned as they watched George slip a blue pill in Hermione's mouth and carry her towards the staircase up to his room.
"Baby, you ain't seen nuthin yet" they heard him whisper as he left.
"So, Fred, you got the stuff?" Harry had leaned in towards Fred, eyes glazed.
"Yeah" fred pulled out a small velvet pouch and handed it to Harry, who emptied the contents onto the mirror.

About 30 miniscule capsules rolled onto the mirror.
"These beauties will knock your head sideways for three days straight" whispered Fred.
"But the best thing is.... no comedown!"
"How the hell does that work?" asked Harry eagerly. He had become resigned to the fact that to have a good high, you simply gotta get used to the evil lows, and eevn the stuff they learned in Divination to hold off comedowns only worked with alcohol.
"Well," said Fred, grinning, "The yellow end has the best drug in, it makes you hallucinate, you love everyone and everything you look at is beautiful. It works to suit your temperament, so say you wanna chill, it's like smikin 6 joints, but if you wanna spin out, it feels like you've popped 10 little ones, and it works in about 5 minutes. it's like it reads your mind man!"
"yeah?" replied Harry, "that's awesome, but how do you avoid feelin like shite when they run out?"
"thats the beauty of 'em" said Fred, "the white half holds a kind of antidote, so when the buzz starts goin and your brain kicks in, the white half replaces the sickness and depression with a kind of natural pep up, so you feel like normal!"

*ANYONE WHO FEELS LIKE CONTINUING THIS STORY IS WELCOME TO, I GOTTA GIVE MY BRAIN A REST, AND I'LL JUST PICK UP WHERE YOU LEAVE OFF, OKIE? WHADDAYA THINK SO FAR?*

very good

*I'LL WRITE SUM MORE INNA BIT, YOU CARRY IT ON FOR ME YEAH?*

😆 syren u crack me up