Adult Version Of Harry Potter

SKIP TO END OF LUNCH........

Harry and Ron walked slowly out of the dinner hall with satisfied smiles and bloated stomachs.

"Hmm, I wonder where Hermione got to?" mused Harry, stroking his stomach.

"Dunno, but I'm in serious need of a phat one, pure weed, you know?" Ron's eyes lit up at the thought of a joint.

Harry nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, I've got some strong stuff under my bed, but if we have any of that we're gonna be wasted by the time we get to Potions, and you know how much Slate hates the fact that we don't really need to learn all the stuff he's teaching. We already know it!!"

Ron rolled his eyes and tutted, "Surely the man can grasp the fact that in this day and age families are bringing theire kids up properly, I could roll my first one skin when I was 6".

He looked so proud of this that Harry didn't have the heart to mention he could roll at 3, so he just nodded and let his mind wander again.

He thought back once again to Hermione and the Kiss. He couldn't help it. Hermione was a hussy, everyone knew that, but no-one seemed to care. She'd been poked more times than a pile of shit on a cheap estate, and still every guy around the place wanted her. It was like she'd put a spell on them all. Thinking about it, Harry came to the conclusion that she probably had, but was more than happy with that, if it were the case. He just wanted to see her naked.

He realised with a start that Ron was jabbing him in the ribs with his wand, and laughed out loud.

"Sorry man, just pondering life in general..." he lied quickly.

"Yeah, I figured that," Ron sighed. "So, you gonna go grab the stuff? I'll wait in the courtyard for you." With that he ran off.

Harry sighed at how amazing it was that when you were a stoner you could be thinking about anything, and if you didn't want anyone to know your innermost secrets all you had to say were the words "Life in general" and people swallowed it. Simple life really.

Alright, feel free to add anything you like, keep it simple(ish) and just about clean enough for it to stay open. If this gets closed, I'll be pissed.

👆

I am cracking myself open with this story man! 😆 🤘

ROn had returned with the splifs rolled and ready to go. Harry put one behind his ear, remembering to fashion it so that some of the weed hung out stylishly. The other he placed in between his lips.

"Screw it," he said taking out his lighter "I'm having one. Can't wait. What about you stoner?" he said, turning to Ron. Ron had already lit and finished half of it.

Hermione had just finished her session with Neville. He had been paying her for it for two years now, and he still wasn't any good.

"Hey boys. Howya doin' Ronnie?"

Ron blushed as she brushed past him, just touching his shoulder with her chest.

"Erm...ok."

"Good. So, Hazzer, we still on for later?"

Harry smiled, "totally - ain't I always up for a laugh?"

"Sure hope so." she said, and walked off to join her possie, Pansy and |Melicent.

"WHat was that? Are you gonna - gonna - "

"No way man, I know she's yours firt."

"Right, and then once I've had a go, you can keep her. That's the deal right?"

"Right...But hurry the hell up. Oh hell, here cames Slate."

"Boy, why are you doing splifs right outside my door? Too stoned to remember that I banish any splits I find."

"Right yeah...hang on.." Ron removed the splif from his mouth and popped it into his mouth. "Sorry 'bout that." he said, smiling black teeth as Harry took his splif out and did the same.

Together they stumbled into the class.

((hee hee))

😱

A fellow writer!!

Excellent chica, I think we got something going here 😄

"Right-o then.." Slate smiled, following the kids into class. "Today, as most of you can no doubt surmise by your work stations, we are going to learn how to transfigure perfectly pure good cocaine into what's known as Rock or Crack, by using simple ordinary household chemicals to give our cocaine that extra kick!"

YAWN! the kids sighed together. "We surely won't be expected to sit thru this sober..." Ron whispered, finding his half-toked blunt and lighting up in the back row he shared with Harry, Hermione, Pansy and Millicent.

"Be careful..." Hermione whispered harshly, "You'll contaminate your coke with MJ residue!!"

"OH, drat!" Ron sighed, trying to wipe his finger clean.

"I got this..." Harry cheered, pulling a pouch from his belt, opening it, and waving his bong-wand over it. From the pouch, dozens of cockroaches clicked and clacked and crawled across the table as Harry conjured.

"Willie stiffens and coochie drips,
As these roaches turn into clips!"

There was a sparkle of fairy dust magic enveloping the bugs, and then the roaches stiffened, dried and died, their pinchers now flexible into tiny clips. Ron and the girls quickly grabbed a clip and pinched their spliffs.

-UHH UHHMM!- Slate cleared his throat at the front of the class, while the back row stoners giggled and laughed uncontrollably.

"Right, right... to continue... Crack cocaine is an amazing substance, that offers new heights to the high of regular coke off the street..."

-whew!- that was close! hee hee! hee! Ron giggled, toking heartily on his blunt, no longer contaminating his fingers with residue, thanks to Harry's quick thinking conjure.

"Thanks Potthead.. Harry Potthead rulz! heehee-heh-"

clap

That was amazing Rick!!

But be careful, I don't want it to be closed 😄

"MISTER WEEDLEY!! MISTER POTTHEAD!! and MISS GANJA!!" Slate roared. "What did I tell you about smoking a blunt in my classroom??!!"

Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at each other stoned-faced.

"Uhhh... only if we have enough to share with everyone??" Ron pondered, and the whole back row of stoners busted out in uncontrollable giggles, followed by the whole Chamber room full of students.

"Very well..." Slate nodded, with a chuckle. "Pass around some skins, some grass, and a roach clip to EVERY STUDENT, then get back to work setting up the bunsen burners and chemicals for mass rock transfiguration..."

😱 that's great...

there will be more, right? 😊

There came a sound of rattling chains, echoing into the chamber, and the tweekers all began to feel sudden paranoia and alarm. Everyone looked around curious and confused, and the girls began to panic and shiver.

"What manner of black magic is this?" Slate wondered. "Who lit up their bunsen burner and started cooking rock without turning on the ventilation system?! We will all be fried in short order, unless procedure is followed to the letter!!"

Just then, the chamber door kick inward forcefully, and in stumbled the most vile, disgusting figure ever seen. He was greasy-haired, 4 days growth of stubble on his chin and cheeks, his eyes were glazed and glassy, darting wildly around the transfiguration chamber, leering and giggling madly when he spotted Herpiones (changed her name to better suit the theme 🙂 ) in the back row.

"Mmmmm aaaahhh, my Herpes' here, I knew I smelt ya, baby!" the greasy goon groaned. "Daddy's home, sugah!" he shuffled across the room.

"Oh dear me..." Herpi shuddered. "It's Ramafist... my sugar-daddy..."

"RAMAFIST?" Harry echoed. "But, I thought..."

"Wasn't he imprisoned in Passabong (Azkaban) for 10-12 for possession with intent to distribute??" Ron completed what his friend had started to say.

Looking at Ramafist, it was obvious, he had escaped incarceration; he was still wearing the orange jumpsuit, though it had been sullied and darkened by dirt and wear during his escape, and his legs and wrists were still shackled in iron, chains dragging as he walked.

"Ohhhh.. heh heh heh..." Ron giggled with recognition. "Coooool sound effects, duuuuuude..."

"Shut up, worm or I'll rip out your eyes and pi$$ in your skull!" Ramafist snarled, slamming a stool between Harry and Herpione. "Hi, sugar-lumps!"

"H... hi, Rammy..." Herpe stuttered. "It's been awhile baby..."

"I been gone 7 looong years hun..." Ramafist stretched and scratched himself. "Long and hard years at Passabong prison... so, now I wonder:
How much hooch you sell for me while I was locked up?"

"Uhhh... none, sweets..." Herpes turned away, looking at the floor where a few cockroaches still squirmed.

"NONE!?" Ramafist roared, rearing back and cracking Herpes hard on her cheek with the back of his hand, sending the girl crashing from her stool to the floor. "Try again, biyatch! How much money you got for me, baby Or will I have to collect on 7 years bad luck, in 'other ways'???!"

Harry Potthead sobered up quick then; this Prisoner of Passabong was going to be trouble....

😑

LMAO 😆

That totallt rocked! I would write, but I gotta soak all the action in....

OMG!!

Guys, when I first opened this thread, no-one was interested!!

You like, so totally rock dudes......

And dudettes......

😄

Pretty good for having only seen Chamber of Secrets 3 or 4 times with a roomful of preteens, huh? 😮‍💨 😘 😈 😱 😆

Sorry I write so much, but that's just the way it goes when it starts to flow, you know?

"Just the way it goes, when it starts to flow, you know?"

Yeah, totally...... I love writing, parodies, poetry, freestyle...........

So add on to this so I can be inspireds to add more.... it's going good so far

I am stumped at the mo... this is what happened last time. Writers block. (coz I used to write here loads when it started)

*also has writers block*

I'm not writing at the mo, nothing's coming.

I think it's coz I've been spending so much time working on my Forum, that's what frame of mind I'm in, sorry guys 🙁

~wats so adult about this game~

~if you can't tell what makes this more risque than the family friendly books and movies, that's probably a good thing...~

Ramafist grabbed Herpes by the neck, lifting her off the ground and glaring at her. "Where's my money, ho?" he roared.

"UNHAND THAT STUDENT!" Slate bellowed, stomping across the transfiguration chamber to the back row.

"Shut it, teach!" Ramafist demanded as Slate approached. The convict grabbed a syringe from the work station and loaded up some of the bubbling mixture over the bunsen burner, stabbing Slate in the neck with the needle and pumping him full of the drug.

"Woooooooo..." Slate stumbled, his eyes gone glassy and he flopped to the floor, a dumbstruck smile on his face, while the drugs took hold.

As Ramafist shoved Herpes away from the back row, Harry and Ron jumped up to stop him. Rammy punched Ron in the gut and shoved the wheezing tweeker into Harry, then dragged Herpes kicking and screaming from the chamber.

"Looks like we're stuck with sloppy seconds and thirds after today..." Ron frowned. Harry looked at Ron, stunned at first, but then they both looked at Slate still baked on the floor, and everyone started to giggle.

"I'm f***ing hungry..." Harry realized.
"I got the munchies too..." Ron agreed. They both got up and walked to Slate. "Class dismissed?" Harry asked, while Ron grabbed Slate's head and forced him to nod, while the man sat there drooling and dazed.

The stoned sorcerers strolled from the chamber of secrets, in pursuit of munchies and the prisoner of Passabong...