PotC2 chain story(caution:may be random)

ERR M_g u R Ash DEEERRR!!! We gave U a name
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as the others sit down 2 a lovely drink of rum a bunch of people creep on board unnoticed by any1 apart from the monkeys who don't seem 2 care. Meanwhile JDG and APG r fighting over the ring once again.

JDG: My Pre..Choke Choke *APG starts chokeing her*
Jack: Would u 2 give it a break.

APG and Jdg stop imediatly and go back 2 drinking again. Just as they sit down Cheeco JtM and Rummy start attacking 3 people who R hiding behind a barrel of rum. Jacl runs over and pulls the 3 people out.

boy: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Dont kill me!!!!!
Jack: I aint Who the bloody hell R U?
Jessie: Yeah we aint the only person worth killing is Ash *glares at Ash*
girl: Ignore him He has gone dellusional. Im Hermoine Granger and This is Ron and Harry.
Harry: *screams again*
Jack: Righto. What the hell R u doing her???
Hermoine: Hiding from Voldemort.
Ron: Stop saying the bloody name!!!
Hermoine: Ron get over it.

Ron and hermoine get into a long argument and about 1 hour later they finnaly finish.

Hermoine: Hmph
Ron: Hmph!!
Hrmoine: HMPH!!!!!!
Jack: Ok now that that is over who the hell is Vollymall
Hermoine: Voldemort!
Ron: Stop IT!!
Hermoine: Shut Up!!!

Hermoine and Ron get into another argument and Harry ignoring them both says 2 Jack

Harry: He is this ugly evil guy who wants me dead.
Jack: Ok Thats nice U can get off my ship now. Ive had enough of ugly evil guys 2 last me a life time.

Jack gets an angry look off Joscail and Harry starts begging Jack not 2 let them leave.

Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I dont wanna die.
Ghem: Can we make them walk the plank???
Ash: Sounds good 2 me but can we chop ther heads off first?
Jessie: Can we chop Ashes head off afterwods.
Ash: Can't U get over that already It was the monkeys bloody fault.
Jessie: Shut Up im ignoring u!

B4 anyones head gets chopped off a .....................

[NOTE: I AM GOING TO HAVE THIS MOVED TO FANFIC AREA........]

enormous basalisk flops over the side and feebaly tries to attack Harry
harry😮h no!!!! The nasty basalisk has returned!!!RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
Jessie:No way! It's really cute! Dad can i keep him, can i , can i?
Jack:As long as you look after it.
Whole crew:YAY!!!!WE GOT THE BASALISK!! ISNT HE CUTE!!!
Ron, Hermioney and Harry:Wait! u dont understand! it cood kill you with one bite!
(the basilisk gives Jessie a friendly lick and starts to purr)
(hagrid appears with a flash of blue light and lots of glitter)
Hagrid:But thats where your wrong Harry! with the right handleing a basilisk becomes docile and friendly. I would appreciate it if none of u told ani1 about me using magic either.

The crew all stare in baffelment at the giant man.

Jack:Bloody hell! Where do all threse feaks come fro...
Harry:Hogwarts skool of witchcraft and wizardry
Jack:Watever, NOW GET OFF MY SHIP!!!

The children and hagrid were just being herded to the plank when Will swung across from a ting boat that no1 had seen aproaching on the other side.

😱

Will: *flashes his funny light thingy and they all loose there memories once again and b4 they no it Will is gone again*
Jack: WTF????
Harry: *creeps away unoticed and hides below deck with Ron and Hermoine*
Jack: Er what where we doing?
APG: *scratches head* I dunno
JDG: Iknow think 4 a minute Drinking

They all start parting again and by sundown every1 apart from the Hogwarts kids R drunk including Hagrid
But while they R sleeping an ugly looking er... man climbs abourd followed by a stack of masked figures.
Jessie wakes up and emidetly adresses the new people abourd.

Jessie: Oh great and who the bloody hell would u b??
Ugly man: U don't know who I am?
Jessie: Err R U that guy i kicked in the nose a few weeks ago?
Ugly man: Err no. I am Lord Voldemort!!!
Jessie: Come again?
Voldemort: *gives Jessie a mad look then says* I am Lord Voldemort.
Jessie: Oh thats nice Well Im Jessie Sparrow.
Voldemort: Sparrow??? Now where have I herd that name *thinks 4 a minute* Hmm all well. U Tell me where the Potter boy is!
Jessie: Who the hell is a Potter boy. I don't know any1 who makes pots!
Voldemort: Don't Lie 2 me!!
Jessie: I aint!!
Voldemort: Hmph Well then Ill just have 2 torture u then

Voldemorts er.. mates grab Jessie and tie her up.

Jessie: Hey Help Me DAD WAKE UP YE BLOODY IDIOT IM BEING KIDNAPED!!!

Jake who is still half asleep says.

Jack: Thats nice love!
Jessie: DAD!!!
Jack Ok Ok

Jack gets up and c's that Jessie really is getting kidnaped!

Voldemort: Bring me the Potter boy if u eva want 2 c her alive

and with that they disapere and every1 finnaly wakes up.

Jack OMG. What am I going 2 do. Her mother is going 2 kill me. Wait Who is her mother *Jack starts thinking but can't remeber*

While Jack tries 2 work out who Jessie's mother is and every1 else tries 2 work out whats going on ...............

<<<<<OMG, some1 other then APG & myself made a contribution!!!! Amazing. Anyway, Ash isn't M_G, Ash is Ash, M_G is another Captain. Dunt worry M_G, I'll put you in this one!>>>>>

Gibbs walks on board.

Jack walks over to Gibbs & grabs his shoulders

Jack: Where the hell have you been?

Gibbs: My dream house didn't work out, it just wasn't for me. I missed the wide open ocean, the horizon & how the sun's rays tickle the surface of the water before they disappear at night. Night, when the stars unfold there glorious petals & the moon--

Jack slaps him hard on the face.

Jack: Quiet with the poetry whelp. You bloody Eunuch!

Gibbs: (Looking indignant) Poetry is the colour of love & life, a man should--

Jack: MAN?!?!?!?!! Now you're just sounding gay!!!!!! (Calls over rail) OI BASILISK! GET UP HERE! I HAVE A SNACK FOR YOU!

The Basilisks head appears just above the surface of the water.

Jack: YES, GET UP HERE & EAT HIM!!!! (Starts pointing frantically at Gibbs, who is currently looking the other way.)

The Basilisk shoots out of the water, in a matter of seconds & a few water droplets Will is gone...again.

Harry: OMG, you are evil! VOLDERMORT CONSPIRITORY! YOU'RE AS SPY FOR THE DARK LORD!

Hermione: Harry calm down, he is not. Just relax would you.

Ron: But Hermione, what if Harry's right?

Jack: Right about what?

Ash & M_G appear near the group of wizards, they had just finished discussing the finer points of "Chainsaw-on-hand" - ery.

Ash: Machete, you need practise to refine the art of handling the Chainsaw.

Jack: (Looking at Ash & M_G) Where the hell have you two been?

M_G: (Holds his hand up, it has been replaced by a chainsaw) Just been fitting me with me own chainsaw-on-hand!

Jack: Great that's all we need. I don't care about Chainsaw-on-hands just help me find Jessie.

Jos walks on board & pionts at Ghem

Jos: We'll give 'em her!

Ghem: I'm not who they want

Ghem walks over to Harry

Ghem: Isn't it him they want?

She grabs him by the back of the shirt & drags him to the middle of the deck. Jos walks over & inspects the boy.

Jos: Why would they want HIM?!?! He is imperfect.

Harry: Hey! I am NOT!

Hermione: Take that back!

Jos: (To Hermione) Why?

Hermione: You were insulting him!

Jos: I was being truthful.

Hermione: You were being hurtful

Jos: We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

Two small tubes jut out from the top of Jos's wrist & sink into Hermione's neck. The two of them disappear in a bit of green light.

Jack: What is Borg?

Harry: OMG, you kidnapped her, where did that thing take her?

Jack the Monkey walks up & grabs hold of Harry's leg with his cybernetic arm. His technological joints & implants werr & hum. Harry screams when he sees the Borg-Monkey

Jack: Borg-Monkey???

Borg-Monkey: Don't be fearful, my designation is Borg-Monkey One, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimuktrix Zero One. But you may call me Borg-Monkey One. What is your designation?

Harry: Um, Harry.

Borg-Monkey One: Harry, curious, an odd designation, but it will suffice. That "Thing" that took your friend is Borg, her Designation is Jos 9 of 9, Tertiary Adjunct Unimatrix Zero One, but You may call her Jos 9 of 9.

Jack: What do you mean "Tertiary Adjunct"??

Harry: err, ok then. Well, where has Jos 9 of 9 taken Hermione?

Borg-Monkey One: Your friend no longer exsists, she will adapt to serve the Borg. She is now on a Borg Cube out in space, thousands of lightyears away in the Delta Quadrant. She is being properly assimilated.

Ron: Damn you!!!!!

Jack: What is the Delta Quadrant?

Ron gets out his wand & throws a curse at Borg-Monkey One, but the curse hits what looks to ba shield.

Ron: Damn.

Jack: What is Borg?

Harry: Damn.

Ghem: We must get Jessie back, anyone got any ideas?

..........

APG: *shrugs* Hell no
JDG: *does same thing*
Jack: Well U 2 R a great help
APG: Yep thats us Great helpers
Jack: I was being sarcastic
JDG: Oh
M_G: I know Y dont we go after theses er things and chop off there heads.
Ghem: OFF WITH THERE HEADS
Jack Err right I think we need a better plan
M_G: Whats wrong with OFF WITH THERE HEADS
Ron: and I thought Malfoy was weird.
Harry: Yeah
Jack: Well that ugly dude said somthig bout a potter...

Harry hides in corner

Hary: Dont know no Potter

Just then..........

Yeah I know I didnt write much

CHEEEEEEEEEE HE HEHHEEE!

A ginger cat with a LARGE GRIN on it's face appears.

Cat: I fear you need my help.

Jack: What the hell are you??????

Cat: I'm the Cheshire Cat!

APG: OH PUDDY TAT!!! COOTE 'N FUZZY! ME WANTS A HUG IT!

APG leaps at the cat, but the cat disappears.

JDG: Now look what you've done! Now it wont help us!

M_G: OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

In a second Ron is standing there with no head. His body slowly falls over.

Ash: WOOOW HHOOO GO MACHETE! THATS THE TYPE O' PRACTISE YOU NEED!

Harry: No!!

Harry collapses unconscious just as Jos re-appears back on board. Jessie is with her

Jos: What has happened here? I took the liberty of retreiving Miss Sparrow from the Ugly Man. She is undamaged.

Jessie: Dad, if you'd just have listened--

Jos: This isn't the time for family squabbles.

Jessie & Jack: Why?

Jos points to the edge of the ship where several things were climbing on-board.....

They were enormous octopusses! the whole crew reached for their swords and pistols.

Jack: Back you beasts!

APG:You idiot! They are dumb creatures, they can't understand you!

THE BIGGEST SLIMIEST UGLIEST OCTOPUS:ah hah! They told me that humans were stupid but they clearly understated! you are imbeciles! WE are without doubt the cleverest spiecies EVER! SO THERE! by the way, do you have any rum?

Now he was speaking jack's language!

Jack: sure, but if i give some will you turn around and never look back on our ship again?

THE BIGGEST SLIMIEST UGLIEST OCTOPUS😖ure thing matey!

the whole crew and the octopusses then enjoyed and delicious dinner called rum. But then Harry and Ron woke up and thinking that they were going to be attacked by the THE BIGGEST SLIMIEST UGLIEST OCTOPUS and his army started to fire spells in every direction!

Harry was about to throw another curse when he looked over to Ron & screamed. Ron's body was headless, that's when Harry remebered M_G haking his head off with his Chainsaw-on-hand. Harry looked down & saw Ron's head.

Ron's Head: Don't worry mate, I performed a healing spell, but it didn't quiet put my head back on.

Ron's body stops throwing curses & sits down.

Harry: Ron! What will Hermione say about this??

Ron: Isn't Hermione dead?

Harry: NO! Borg-Monkey One said she was alive, but was assimilated. Whatever that means.

...

<<sorry, i didn't exactly finish, but i gotta go, so someone else can keep going.>>

but before Harry could finish his sentance the ENORMOUS OCTOPUSSES were bearing down on them and smothering them! Jack and his pirate friends and crew sat down to watch the show.

After several minutes they got up cos they were bored and wanted sum rum.
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While they were away, Hermione appeared again.

Hermione: I am Borg
Ron and Harry(almost ded):Hermione!! We are being killed by ENORMOUS OCTOPUSSES!!!!

Hermione walks away.

AND THEN SHE WAS EATED BY A SMALL ELECTRIC YELLOW MONSTER, YES!!!! IT WAS THE FEARSOME P I K A C H U!!!!!!

All the pirates were instantly grabbed by fear!! What should they do?

APG: *faints*]

JDG: *does same thing*

Jessie: Meh *shoots some of the creatures* DIIIIIIE!!!!

Pikachu dies when Jessie shot him.

Jessi: YAY Look what I did dad

But Jack is dryunk and isnt taking any notice

Jessie: Fine then b that way!!!!

Ghem: He will wake up in a minute

Ash: OFFF WITH er ITS HEAD

Ash chops the dead pokemon's head off.

M_g: Err dude he was already dead

Ash:.........Shut uP!!!

Meanwhile Rummy and Cheeco are experimenting with Rons wand.

Cheeco: Boogie Woogie

FLASH Cheeco turns into a giant slug with wings.
Will appears and destroyes the giant slug then does his flashy thingy and disaperes

Rummy: Hey where is cheeco.

Notices slug guts everywhere

Jack who just woke up: Hey Y is there guts all over my ship?

Jessie: I dunno!

just then the really ugly dude returns and c's.......

apg and falls in love

rummy:muahahaha *evily laughing because voldemort is under a spell he put on him*

apg: noooooooooooooooooooooo

Voldemort: Come 2 me my love

APG: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JDG: HA HA HA APG

Mrs Bloom comes on board and APG shoots her 4 making the ugly dude fall in love with her.

Jessie: Oh No not u again

APG: What are you complaining about? He dont LOVE U!!!!

APG faints and Voldemort picks her up and disaperes.

JDG: HA HA

Ghem: Shouldn't We do somthing about that?

Ash: OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!

Ghem: Apart from that.

Jack: I dunno

Joscail: ...................

JtM:.............................

JDG: .............BORING!!!

Voldemort comes back with APG!

Voldemort: ARRRR Pleas get rid of her

Pushes APG into Ghem then diaperese yet again.

Harry: Yay he didn't c me

Jack: U mean ur the potter bot

Harry: Errr

Harry runs off. Then ApG says....................................................

APG: GET HIM! IT'S HIS FAULT UGLY MAN CAME! SO IT'S HIS FAULT RUMMY GOT A CHANCE TO MAKE HIM LOVE ME! ARRRRRRRRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!
Harry: AARRRRRR HELP MEEE WILD PIRATES WILD PIR---

BANG!

Jos stands there, a pistol held in her out strtched hand. Everyone stops & stares at her.

Jos: He was inefficient.

More staring...Cricket noises.

Jos: As you were *Raises an eyebrow*

Everyone starts back to normal again as if let out of a trance.

Ron: What did you do to Harry?!?!!?

Jos: I put him out of his misery.

They look at Harry's corpse, which is being repeatedly kicked by APG.

Ron: Don't do that!

APG: Why not, he's dead!

Harry: No I'm not!

Jos starts shooting him again, repeatedly.

Harry: Errg, don't do that.

Jos shoots him some more

Harry: would you quit i--

Jos pulls out a shotgun & blows a few rounds into him!

Harry: DON'T!

Jos gets uzi's & attempts to make mash of his body.

Harry: errrrrrr

Jos gets a grenade & shoves it down his throat.

BANG

Harry: haha no effect!

Jos: YOU PIECE O' BLOODY SH!T!!!!!!!!

Gets out a basuka! (haha, eat this Potter!)

The force of the weapons fire blows a hole in the deck, Harry dissapears below deck. The Ugly Man appears on board.

Voldermort: Did I hear some1 say "Potter"?

Everyone: NO!!!!!!

Voldermort: *Looking taken aback* Oh, ok *Disappears*

Harry: Another point to me!

Jos GOD DAMN THAT LITTLE (beep) PEICE O' (beep beep) HIM! HE'S AN (beep beep beep beep beep beep) *Jops walks up to M_G & grabs the collar of his shirt.* KILL THE LITTLE CREEP! NOW!!!!!!

Jos throws him in the hole down to Harry. Everyone listens......

2 M_G scream as he falls.

Ash: bloody whimp

M_G lands and chops harry's head off.

M_G: Muahahahahahahahahahaha Take that!!!

Harry: Is that the best u can do????

M_G: Wha??? *yells 2 Jos* He aint bloody dieing!!!

Joscail screaches a few more bleeps and APG jumps down 2 help try and kill him.

APG: DIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!

APG and M_G chop Harry in2 tiny little bits but he still seems 2 b able 2 talk!!

Harry: Ow that really hurts NOT!!!

APG: WTF??? GRRRRRRRRRRR KEEPS CHOPPING

Meanwhile on deck the others R drinking happily thinking that the Potter boy is dead.

Jack: Hey has any1 seen Will??

Jessie: Na but who cares he is just a bloody whelp anyway.

Jack: Yeah U got a point!

Just then they all hear a loud noise.

Ghem: Hey what was that????

A few tiny people climb on board with very hairy feet.

Jack: Oi who the hell R U.

1st: I am Merry!! *looks very happy with self* and this is Pippin, Frodo and Sam.

Jack: Right thats very nice. U can go now!!

Sam: But we cant We need to find the ring.

JDG looks worried.

JDG: Sry no ring here!

Ash: Hey wearnt u and APG fighting over 1 a couple of days ago??

JDG: Shut Up Ash!!!

Ash: But U were

Pippin: Oh I f u did u must tell us at once. the dark lord Saruman is after it.

Merry: Souron Pip

Jacl: Oh great not another ugly evil guy. We are already having troubles with 1 of them. JDG just give them the ring b4 this guy turns up

JDG: Err Um I dont have it no more. When U er told us to shut up we kinda threw it over board.

Jack: Aww Y me??

Just then..........

mrs_bloom comes back on the ship to haunt apg muhahahahahahaha kill me and i shall haunt ye for the rest of ya misarable life
jos: look look
apg:wat r u muttering about
jos:just look
Apg turns round and see mrs_bloom
jos:told ye to look
then mrs_bloom takes out a stake i shall kill u
just then van helsing turns on board and sees that APG is a vampire
vh:die die
apg nooooo *starts running
she keeps running and runs into>>>>>

....Suron

APG: Arrrhhh Save me crazy vampire killing dude thinks im a vampire!!!

Souron: *looks at every1*

APG relizes that Souron is acctualy a giant eye and screams like a little girl

APG: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Gross

APG runs back over to Van Helsing!

VH: Vampire!!!vampire

APG: No PIRATE not Vampire PIRATE!!!

VH: Oh!!!

Voldemort appears next 2 souron.

VH: VAMPIRE!!vampire

APG: Yes Kill him

Harry's chopped up body: No U cant kill him Only I can

JDG: Shut up Mushed boy!giljotiini

Ash: Yeah what she said!!

Jack: Thats it enough. Im bloody sick 2 death of all U *looks at every1* whateva U r's. NOW OFF MY SHIP!!!!!boat

Every1 looks taken back and slowly all the hobbits Voldemort Souron Van Helsing and the hogwarts kids make there way off the Pearl.

Ghem: Yay U got rid of them

Jack: I meant ALL of u

Ghem: Wha???

Jack: GET OFF MY SHIP

Ghem: but....

Jack: NOOOOOOOOOWWW!

They all slowly make there way off the ship and into the little row boat.

Jessie: Well now.....

Jack pushes Jessie off and she falls in the boat with the others.

Jessie: HEY WHAT DO U THINK UR DOING IM UR DAUGHTER!!!!!!!

Bruce swims up 2 the boat

Bruce: I never knew my father Waaaaaahhhhhhh

Every1 else: HUH?

Bruce swims away and the little boat slowly makes its way around 2 the other side off the ship where they all get back on again.

Jack: What the?? I thought I told u all....

Jessie knocks Jack out and drags him off 2 his cabin!

APG: Now where were we???

JDG: Oh yes Van Helsing was just about to kill the ugly evil guy!

M_G: OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!giljotiini

Ash: Aye OFF WITH HIS HEADgiljotiini

Just as Van Helsing goes to take off Voldemorts head a lovely............

silver swan appeared!

Silver swan: I thought i was ugly but then i looked in the wated and saw my reflection and saw that i was beautiful!

Every1: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BIRD!!!!

Jack staggers out of the cabin, and upon seeing the swan is amazed.

Jack: Ahoy there swan!! If i give u a years supply of rum will you carry me to the Isla de Muerta to get all me treasure bak?

Swan: Sure thing pardner!

Every1 looked on in horrer as their captain took all the rum and flew away!

All: AFTER HIM!!!!!!

so the pearl sailed after the bird......