Originally posted by iluvpippin
yes anyone should b allowed to have kids....kids can change someone.....and thats so unfair if theyre not allowed kids, its got nothing do do wit ur life so why take it away from them?
That may be true, but there are kids born into irresponsible families that would abuse them. The kid deserves better
Originally posted by iluvpippin
yes anyone should b allowed to have kids....kids can change someone.....an thats so unfair if theyre not allowed kids, its got nthin do do wit ur life so why take it away from them?
What about the people who lock their kids in closets, giving them one slice of bread a day to live on?
What about the drug addicts who bring there kids up on drugs, turning them intu future drug addicts/dealers?
What about the people who have kids and then end up killing, raping or torturing them?
You think all of these people should have kids? Despite the fact that the kids will only be hurt by these people.
Obviously not everyone should have children. It isn't good for society, and it isn't good for the kids.
Originally posted by iluvpippin
yes anyone should b allowed to have kids....kids can change someone.....an thats so unfair if theyre not allowed kids, its got nthin do do wit ur life so why take it away from them?
Key word: CAN. Kids CAN change someone. But more likely things will turn out on the worse side of things if the person has a serious problem.
Originally posted by The Omega
BF> Hm! I’m actually inclined to agree with you on the license thing. For the moment a hypothetical license without discussing who should issue it.
And I’m inclined because I suddenly got to think about adoptions! Not everyone and their dog can adopt a child. In some countries (I think) single parents can’t adopt. You have to have a certain income to adopt and jobs and so on and so forth…
Why this for adoption?
Sometimes the rules for an adoption have been modified to fit the country the child's from. E.g. some countries won't be part of a adoption-program if they have a suspicion the child might end up with a single parent, a homosexual couple, etc. I saw a program where the child's new parents were actually chosen, not because of their personality or financial situation (though of course the latter wasn't a problem), but because the staff at the children's home the baby was from felt it was God's intention this particular couple should be the new parents. So the criteria and regulations for adoption can be altered and changed, depending on whose involved. Nobody share's the completely same ideas of what the perfect parent's like. That would make it hard to make rules for the the parents expecting their own child as well.
A license for parents would indeed be a good idea, tho I think it's almost impossible to make up such a test and stuff.
Second of all not everyone should have the right to give birth. As DR said not everyone is suited to take care of children, bringing kids into this world for whom the parents simply can not (or won't) take care of should NOT be allowed.
We have pretty strict adoption laws in Belgium, yet we do not have laws against having kids. (except in some extreme cases) That's just weird and wrong I think the reason is pretty obvious, what would you do when you make laws to prevent people from having children when they aren't suited for it?
Mandatory sterilization??? that goes a tad to far for me.
Altho it should be controlled I think it is something that can not be controlled. Best thing to do IMO is to EDUCATE ppl that children simply aren't for everyone
IluvPippin> But shouldn’t having children BE about having something to offer a little new human being – instead of people claming their RIGHT to something?
Kids may NOT change anyone. But parents can turn kids into monsters if they’re unable to take on the responsibility.
Kaleanea> Yes, but not everyone is able to handle the responsibility. Here in Denmark you need a license to own a gun, and that license doesn’t come easy – at all. Not everyone can simply go and get that license. Guns are dangerous, and for the safety of us – the populace – the police goes through a lot of trouble making sure those that HAVE guns can handle it.
Is having a child not a bigger responsibility than having a gun? Or a pet? Or a car?
Line> Ah, true, true. But the fact remains that you can’t just go into an adoption agency and say “Gimme child”, and then walk out with one. The example you mention is of course pretty crappy (poor child!).
Fire> That would be the down-side of a child-license. Who decides how to test potential parents? Who decides who can get a license? But just some counselling might be a good idea, don’t you think?
Sometimes I think some people have children just because they can. Or to give their own life some justification or meaning. I’d never go as far as sterilisation – that has a scary shadow of Nazism over it… It’s like censorship in a way. If first we start down those roads, they can very easily be abused by the governments.
And I do frankly not know how to administer a possible license. You cannot MAKE by making something illegal make it go away, it only becomes dangerous and criminal.
I was mostly looking for other forumites views on the issue. And I agree with you that education is the best way, it always is.
Originally posted by The OmegaLine> Ah, true, true. But the fact remains that you can’t just go into an adoption agency and say “Gimme child”, and then walk out with one. The example you mention is of course pretty crappy (poor child!).
Nopes. But apparently the rules you'll need to follow before they'll let you have it can change quite a lot, depending on who's involved. If such an individual and personal entity as God can suddenly be drawn into the discussion and alter the criteria, it shows how differently we regard the parent role, thus making it even harder to create a set of rules for parents to follow. Who should make those rules? And how far-reaching should they be?
I definately agree with you on the problematics of upholding such a licens. That does echoe some very nasty scenarios indeed.
Originally posted by The Omega
Rogue Jedi> Are you usually in the habit of claiming people who disagree with you are insane?I’m fine and sane, thank you very much. I’m still not sure it should be a RIGHT to have children, since some people are OBVIOUSLY unfit to care for another human being.
Darth> But do you have to be mentally insane to be unable to care for a child? What about drug-addicts (let’s leave out the mental aspect of taking drugs for simplicity’s sake)? Why put a young child through the trauma of being removed from it’s parents? Had it not been better not to have the child?
But labels indicating disorders of the self are applied to pretty much anything nowadays 🙄 The only way to decide on whether someone is a fit parent is whether or not they can do better for the child than an institution could.
Originally posted by iluvpippin
ok, but how r u gonna know what happens until theyve had kids....youre never gonna know if you never give em the chance....if they do that to their kids they should get taken away from them!
Well yeah, but all the problems a kid got from his/her bad parents don't magically disappear when they get taken away.
Having a child is a person's right just like anything else.
That being said, there are also agencies to protect these children who may be born into a bad home.
I don't think anyone has the right to decide who is a fit parent, raising children takes experience and practice and you get better with time.
Not necessarily ❌
You'd be surprised how many people really don't give a shit about their kids. That or they are truly incapable of parenting them right. My mom's a school counselor, could be why I have a rather negative outlook on this. Anyways, there's this lady who has a reeeaaally low IQ (something like 60) and is hugely obese. She has two kids who also are not very bright and are completely out of control. The lady can barely walk for God's sake because she's so damn fat. There are some people, like her, that simply should not be allowed to have kids.
I agree actually.
People in different cultures take care of their children diferently, you cant have a set rules of what makes a fit parent and what does not, that would not work.
The other thing is, how can you stop people from having children? Make everyone who is classed as ''unfit parent'' if they have a kid, make them have an abortion? Thats silly.
I think agencies that help children like NSPCC over here in England and many other, should work more and harder to get this children safe.