Selflessness, I agree totally ✅ Once you create a life theirs becomes paramount (IMO), I think it relates to unconditional love too. I don't think it's fair to say that as a mother/father made the child, that child should feel they owe their parents. The love received from the child should more than make up the 'debt', as it were.......
Patience too, there's nothing worse than being yelled at continuously for the tiniest mistake, no matter how old the child, mistakes must be made in order to learn. Patience is an excellent motivator, there's no better incentive to do something right than encouragement, especially from a parent.
One thing I've learned is that you have to use anger (or a raised voice) as a tool. Screaming at a kid, while sometimes necassary, only serves to distance them from you and lower their self-esteem. Sometimes a well placed "YOU GOT THAT?" can help get a kids attention if you find them drifting off during a lecture. A raised voice can also let a kid know you mean business if they seem to be not taking you seriously.
This certainly doesn't mean you should ever cuss a kid out though. Say it loud and mean what you say, but leave the F word out of it. Easier said than done sometimes...
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I don't have children, but I'll use my experience with my sister (6) and brother (3). When disciplining them, I not only had to be careful with regard to raised voice etc, I also had to ensure I didn't cross any boundaries set by my actual parents. This, also, is easier said than done.
My sister listened much better when I caught her interest in whatever I was trying to lecture her about. I found that by triggering her imagination she not only heeded what I was saying, but remembered what she had learned at a later date, which she didn't do so well if I simply yelled at her.
So, I agree that while harsh words may sometimes be all that will work, they should be used as a last resort. Children will always learn and remember when the subject at hand is attention grabbing, and to be honest, I often enjoyed disciplining her, because we became close. If she ever did anything wrong, no matter how small, it was me she came to. That's quite satisfying in itself.
Yeah, totally, like how I used to always ask Caitlin for a hug and kiss goodnight, and if she didn't want to, due to being a grouch at bedtime, I used to kind of slope towards the door, shoulders hunched, pretending to cry. Next thing I know I've got a 5 year old hanging off my knees squeaking "Sweet Dweams Kewwy". Most adorable thing, a tot's heart strings 😍
Originally posted by ABE LINCOLN
you need a parent who doesn't let you get into trouble
Point, but I think that's too general. It crosses the line into them living through you, and the line's so fine. I have made so many mistakes, but I wouldn't know what I know today if my parents had not 'allowed' me to do it.