Necessary In Parenting......

I don't mean harsh words so much as the tone and volume of the words. Like they say about dogs and other pets, they don't understand the words you speak to them so much as they react to the tone. You can say the exact same thing with different inflection and get completely different results with kids.

Another thing that has helped me is being into the same things they are. Having a common ground of video games, comics, cartoons and other so-called kid stuff makes our time spent together a lot more fun. The drawback to that is trying to get them to understand that the "card game show of the week" and other crap shoved down kids throats is not as cool as Star Wars or Akira. Having geek arguments with kids is such a losing battle its not even funny.

BTW, in regards to the previous thread FINALLY closing...that just proves my theory that once the Cos has spoken, the discussion is over. So put that in your flisum and flosam it. 😄

What makes a good parent?
Huh, good question. Patience, yes. I’m not so sure I want people to sacrifice their own lives totally on the alter of babies, but a recognition of the fact, that the child is totally dependent on them is a must.
The reason I say this is, that the child should not be the “meaning” of the parents lives. An ex-friend of mine had a baby with the sole purpose of trying to make her boyfriend stay and to give meaning to her life. THAT is a terrible idea.
As has also been mentioned: A sense of authority, the ability to tell the child “no”, and MEAN “no”. (Again, I have these pictures from grocery stores with spoiled brats screaming “I WaaaAAAAAaaaaaant”, parent going “no”, child going “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”, parent going “okay.”).
Parents should also – preferably have some basic education IMHO. Or the time to get encyclopaedias, so they can answer the child’s questions about everything. Children who learn their questions have answers usually choose good education later on.

Link> “child labor laws can't save them.” 😆

Look at your own parents. What do you think THEY did well, and where do you think they could’ve done a better job? Look at where you are now, and relate that to your own upbringing.

Originally posted by The Omega
What makes a good parent?
Huh, good question. Patience, yes. I’m not so sure I want people to sacrifice their own lives totally on the alter of babies, but a recognition of the fact, that the child is totally dependent on them is a must.
The reason I say this is, that the child should not be the “meaning” of the parents lives. An ex-friend of mine had a baby with the sole purpose of trying to make her boyfriend stay and to give meaning to her life. THAT is a terrible idea.
As has also been mentioned: A sense of authority, the ability to tell the child “no”, and MEAN “no”. (Again, I have these pictures from grocery stores with spoiled brats screaming “I WaaaAAAAAaaaaaant”, parent going “no”, child going “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”, parent going “okay.”).
Parents should also – preferably have some basic education IMHO. Or the time to get encyclopaedias, so they can answer the child’s questions about everything. Children who learn their questions have answers usually choose good education later on.

I agree, people should never use babies as a weapon, or the sole reason of changing something in their own lives. And they should never have a child just to give their own lives meaning. You are totally right.

With regard to the child in a shop, I got the perfect image as you described it, it's something seen every single day isn't it? More's the pity.

I don't, however, think that the parent should be able to answer everything the child asks. The child learning from the parent is necessary, but I don't think the parent knowing the answer to everything is a necessity in itself. I have learned so much from my little sister it is beyond belief.

Originally posted by Creechuur
I don't mean harsh words so much as the tone and volume of the words. Like they say about dogs and other pets, they don't understand the words you speak to them so much as they react to the tone. You can say the exact same thing with different inflection and get completely different results with kids.

Another thing that has helped me is being into the same things they are. Having a common ground of video games, comics, cartoons and other so-called kid stuff makes our time spent together a lot more fun. The drawback to that is trying to get them to understand that the "card game show of the week" and other crap shoved down kids throats is not as cool as Star Wars or Akira. Having geek arguments with kids is such a losing battle its not even funny.

BTW, in regards to the previous thread FINALLY closing...that just proves my theory that once the Cos has spoken, the discussion is over. So put that in your flisum and flosam it. 😄

Tone and volume, yes, along with body language. The way you say something, they way you put it to the child, is more likely to get a reaction and have them understand than the particular words used.

Common ground, good point. That's kind of what I meant when I said I try to get them interested when lecturing, or simply helping. A child has so much to learn, every day, that it is naturally difficult to keep them amused for long periods of time. So common ground is always going to be an advantage, for obvious reasons ✅

Cos spoke? When? I didn't hear a thing 😗

for someone who is not a mother yet , you r quite right & seem like you've been one for ages , dear .

im impressed .

😮

Thanks, I was very close to my younger sister, unfortunately I don't see her very much at all now.......

can i ask why ?

Of course.

Basically, I'm the eldest child of four, my full brother (16) and my half sister (6) and brother (3) live with my father and stepmother. I am currently living on my own, due to leaving home at 16. I did return to my father's twice, but felt out of place. At 18, I left for the final time and did not contact them for 9 weeks. In this time, I got myself into all sorts of trouble, and have only just sorted myself out. My mother has helped me do this. I visited my father and family about three weeks ago, which was absolutely lovely, but it was very hard when it came time for me to leave again. I understand now how difficult it must have been for my father to hold the whole family together while I was being such a prat, but at the time I truly thought he was just trying to ruin my life, as you do! 🙄 So, things are coming together once again, but slowly, and it is hard for me knowing that had I just put that little extra effort in when living there, I wouldn't have torn the family apart the way I did. But, in my defense, I am the eldest of four, and my father placed the Role Model badge on me from a young age. That in itself is an extremely difficult role to play. One is not allowed to make mistakes for fear of the younger siblings copying, it's unfortunate, but seems to be the way these days.

well im glad things r looking better for you . you seem wiser now and have good hindsight .

Thanks, hindsight's a b!tch but it's also a guarantee 🙄

so did we all decide to take out the whips and cattle prods so they could be put to good use on the youth of America yet? or are we still letting some 3rd party raise our children?

Originally posted by Linkalicious
so did we all decide to take out the whips and cattle prods so they could be put to good use on the youth of America yet? or are we still letting some 3rd party raise our children?

Originally posted by Linkalicious
so did we all decide to take out the whips and cattle prods so they could be put to good use on the youth of America yet? or are we still letting some 3rd party raise our children?

*doesn't know how to take this comment*

So......

😠 / 😍

I also think that a parent needs to be around, my own father spent a lot of my childhood in another country, due to being in the RAF. It still saddens me now, thinking how different our relationship could have been had he actually seen me develop.

there was a difference in my two older girls & two younger girls w/ their daddy being around or not.

in the begining he was in the army & out in the field alot . manda & jess were babies at the time . after a job cut & we decided to get out of the military came josie &rachel . he was a civilian w/ a reg day time job so he was there for that bonding time w/ his duaghters .

my point is for my older two it was harder for them cuase they didnt know their daddy that well till he left the army & could spend time w/ them . while my youngest two had the benifit of daddy being there from day one .

it was the best decision we made .

✅

Exactly. My father even had to choose whether to go away for three months and miss my 16th birthday, or go away for three months another time and miss my GCSEs. He chose to miss my birthday, and then I ended up leaving home just before my GCSEs anyway. I often wonder if I might have stayed at home longer if my father had actually been around. I'm not saying I was neglected, or even ignored, when he was around he was the best father, but I think I could have done with continual discipline, not just lectures etc every three months.

ynow what i dont know what i would do if i was a parent and my child died
two of my freinds had died but ive never thought about the fact of the parents raising them that must be really bad

I think a good parent should be not too strict, but not too lenient to start with 😊 I'm sure there are more, but this is just very important about me, I think very strict parents never manage to control their children, and I'm huuuugely against hitting them and grounding them and all... if the child co-operates, a talk would do 😄

✅

Fine line there, very fine line.

thank you, had the luck of getting raised by good parents 🙂