The Official Symbiote Thread

Alright everybody, listen up.

I have something to say. This week/end I would appreciate it if you all could limit the number of post by 2-3 a day. There have been so many recent spam post's that I didnt even notice till 3 pages got added on in under 3 days. Now I understand many of you are dedicated fans who are on topic, but many (including myself) were drifting from the topic.

So from now on, till I can get some crap at my HQ sorted out, you guys need to make these post more on topic, and less spamtastic.

Happy Consumation of Turkey Day.

Edit: cripes, I sound like a moderator, which is german for: babysitter.
then again considering how much I've babysat all of you.....

Eat my slogan.

Sorry, Robo- but I have to comment on Feceman's work. Then I will be good.

Oh, I love it- I loved "...humming, murmuring...," also, "..clear and insubstantial..."
Some phrases just seem fated.
I might use fewer such phrases, however, and separate them more with the frankness of lines like "...do you know the care with which your creator carved you..." and "...wonder of the common dragonfly..."
The dragonfly is intricate, but it is also first experienced as a whole- and even in close examination, it remains the fusion, above all, and not the disparate elements. You notice how these elements contribute, and you want to celebrate each one- but I think you need more balance here; you need to hold it all togethor for us...just my opinion; I felt like the miracle was TOO thoroughly dissected.
Still, I love the concept and thought it was executed very well, like 80% effective...
Hope this is helpful?

BLAH!

Happy Consumation of Turkey Day.

con·sum·mate ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kns-mt)
tr.v. con·sum·mat·ed, con·sum·mat·ing, con·sum·mates

To bring to completion or fruition; conclude: consummate a business transaction.
To realize or achieve; fulfill: a dream that was finally consummated with the publication of her first book.

To complete (a marriage) with the first act of sexual intercourse after the ceremony.
To fulfill (a sexual desire or attraction) especially by intercourse.

"...wonder of the common dragonfly..."

Ah, yes, a bit wordy, but I did this to better match the syllables for the end rhyme. Whee, I'm going to submit it soon...

ZING!!!

To fulfill (a sexual desire or attraction) especially by intercourse.

happy turkey sex day

NOW STOP DISREGARDING MY AUTHORITY

hmm i wonder what the venom symbiote wants for Christmas ma-by a Cd with swing on a star on it ma-by its done that once

*EYE TWITCH*

strike 2.............

Shut up Robo, no one is going to respect your 'Authority', simply because you aren't a mod and you haven't earned the right.

@Feceman > Good job with tha poem, you should like, ask the publisher for money.

editied by myself

Shut up Robo, no one is going to respect your 'Authority', simply because you aren't a mod and you haven't earned the right.

Dude, no need to spazz. I hate saying the word "dude", but I think the extra talking helps slow the pace and diffuse hostile emotions...anyhow, Robo, sorry, but I don't think ANYONE is going to stop spam-posting.

Just think of it this way--NOTHING important or meaningful is happening in this thread (lol). If you want to skip four pages ahead from where you last were, go for it--I guarantee you won't have missed anything. If you are super anal-retentive (like myself) and have to read EVERYTHING, just skim it and get the general idea.

Sorry, Robo- I do respect your authority; you are the Boss, but...well, Feceman is correct.

Here's another helping of:
Carnage: A Thanksgiving

The dawn has begun to pulse and wiggle into the sky, a red flow in a pale tissue of clouds.
Eddie admires the light with his symbiote. They’d love to emulate it, to flare out, extending themselves to the world- but Beck would be uncomfortable with that much openness, that much heat. Oh, well, they do look good in this form. Eddie chuckles.
It’s only that he’s so happy to connect with Beck; this is why they want to burst out. Normally, they’re reserved.
Eddie swings into the alley with a bouncing step. A truck is softly idling there, waiting for the workers. Good- he’s in time to help!
He takes a lungful of the lovely sinuous fog. He tastes…
Blood…
Pain…
Fear…
Death…
Rape, he tastes rape…
They spit out the filth in a bitter slaver. As the symbiote covers Eddie fully, they become Venom- a bleak, muscular beast. The white pattern on their chest, a spider symbol, twitches its legs. The whiteness flows, shrouding the blackness that is the massive bulk of them. Venom moves in the fog like a war-ship. They stalk, hidden. Fangs gleam in icicle gloss; they can’t stop salivating, washing out the mouth, pushing out the violation.
There is a burning lamp in the alley- the Shelter’s beacon. The door stands open. Now someone pitches out and collapses. Oh, he knows this innocent, this Abby…he remembers her. She first came to the Shelter for court-ordered community work…and stayed; she stayed; she wanted to help…
Venom stops. Symbiotes expel any chemical excess in saliva. The loud, copious splattering of his pain intensifies, sharply. Also, Venom hears the dry laughter of Carnage.
Abby is kneeling. Venom looks into her eyes. She is in death, like his death, but grimmer, a death of too much. The young woman is wearing only a long, gory shirt. There is blood on her thighs, on her neck- so much clinging, pulsing blood that Venom thinks her throat is cut. Then he sees that the lively blood is not only hers. The thing slithering on Abby is the union of her blood and the scarlet tentacles of Carnage.
The symbiotic tentacles begin to pull Abby slowly back into the Shelter.
Venom follows, hissing.

And the writer goes off to pick up the turkey, make the cranberries, and the stuffing. I’ll post more later.

Do you think it is consistent with Eddie's character to chuckle?

Thanks for the feedback. Yes, I do think chuckling is inconsistant with the Eddie we usually see, but this is an attempt at Eddie in a private moment- a very special moment. (awww- special!)
Well- he's kind of laughing at the fact that people find him so much more...approachable when he's all locked up inside himself. He's fondly laughing at the foolishness of innocence, which is precious but at times amusing. Also, he's just happy...he's imagining that he is going home, and it will be perfect.
If not chuckle, what, then? Or would you find the chuckle acceptable if I brought accross the context more effectively?
No chuckle? Really?

How about laughing grimly or ironically?

Any particular reason it is in the present tense?

If not chuckle, what, then? Or would you find the chuckle acceptable if I brought accross the context more effectively?

Perhaps a mirthless or derisive chuckle? If those are too negative-sounding, maybe Brock chuckles at the irony?

Chuckles at the irony- that would be acceptable; good. Thank-you. I will use that or something to that effect in my final draft. More work on exposing what he's feeling, then...it's hard, I don't want to do too much.
His chuckle wouldn't be derisive. He does appreciate innocence, after all.
There's no particular reason why it's in present tense, except the immediacy appeals to me. What is the rationale of the preference for past tense?
Well, there is ONE other little reason, which I will now confess...
One reason it is hard for me to write, and to post, is OCD. I have trouble with the "look" and sound of certain words. It's irrational, but many words in the past tense disturb me, because I do not like the extra syllable, and how it works with the preceding consonants. I'll manipulate tense, AND select words on the basis of the tense they will be used in, and the effect that will have on their flow.
However, if you would explain to me how past tense is a better conveyance of a story, I'd appreciate that. It would be good to understand.

Happy Thanksgiving, symbiote fans.
Fever, that was a work of art, hands down. I didn't see anything wrong with Eddie chuckling, personally. As always, you have a gift for describing a scene to your readers. I especially liked the analogy of a war ship in the fog. I find that to be a great way to describe Venom.

Thanks, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL.
I just read back and saw that the first scenes were in past tense- so now I'll have to re-work the last one. That'll be hard, as I'll have to jettison a lot of words that won't look/sound good (to me) in the past tense...sigh. I'm not going to try that today. Ah, maybe I will. We'll see. Obviously, I haven't made my "deadline," here. I hope you all can forgive me...I know "my" Kasady won't. He's furious.

Happy Thanksgiving, babe.